I don't hate my life... I just hate this world. I've had such a frustrating morning today. In reality, maybe in actuality, I'm just the typical teenage girl over-exaggerating the situation and romanticizing the world. As you may know, I am quite vain, selfish, confident, egotistical and proud. No? It doesn't seem that way? Vain because I know I'm pretty. I don't care if anybody tells me I'm not because I can easily become pretty. So shallow... It's so easy to go through life with a simple smile. I don't understand how guys will do the stupidest things for me to accept a date with them. And I cannot even imagine what they would offer for something as pointless as my virginity. I'm selfish because I only do things that make me happy. Every single action I do is to make ME happy. It just so happens that helping people makes me happy... but back to that in a second. I'm also selfish because I protect everything I love and like so I can have them. Does that make sense? If I like you, I'm going to do my best to make sure you're happy so I can be happy. Isn't that so selfish of me?! Ha. I'm confident, egotistical and arrogant because I believe that I am capable of helping you. What gives me the right to think you need help and that I am the one who is able to do this job? Don't get me wrong, I do not feel above you in any way at all when I help. I believe people are all equals and that we should really work together to make this world a better place. Anyway, I'm so arrogant because I believe I can help the world. That's right, I believe that I have it in me to make a difference and actually change EVERYONE around me. Do you see what I'm talking about? I'm not going through a personality crisis here or anything. I know who I am and accept it wholeheartedly only because it seems like I've been doing a good job so far. I'm happy, and that's all that matters to me. But I completely know that I could just be that typical teenage girl who's romanticizing herself. It's just me against the world. One girl trying to fight all evils. That's how I see it and I am so determined.

But really, I wonder if I'm the only one who sees thing this way... For now, I see myself as a weak, young leader who is very slowly starting this revolution. I still have so much more to learn so much more wisdom to gain. I can't lead, yet!!! I really am trying my best, which is why I've been searching for someone, a significant other maybe. Do you know how happy I would be to meet someone like me? Except, I'd like them to be a much stronger leader than me in this “quest”. I'd follow do and help out in every way I could with their direction. I just want a boyfriend or girlfriend who can satisfy me in this way. They wouldn't even have to love me. I would just love them and feel good knowing that I'm making a difference. Right now, as I've said, I feel myself being a weak leader. I don't want to be with anyone who will drag me down. Time is of the essence and I need to do what I can to help this world. I've had false hope before of meeting two leaders. I've also had many people drag me down. It's so hard to say “no” to anything, but if my limit is reached and you cling onto me long enough I will disappear. I'm sorry. I'm bad at that. Not warning you and telling you what's going on. I just hoped that you would see and understand. I constantly cut people away from my life who have no benefit for me.

Okie, I'm starting to lose my point in this rant... In fact, I don't even remember. So I am just a typical girl who needed to let off some steam.... I really should warn guys who like me that I'm crazy and dramatic. I'm not worth their time unless they think so, if that makes any sense.

TL;DR I AM DELUSIONAL.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT FUCKING GRAMMAR.