So my sister wanted to attend this camp in Georgia and made me drive to the post office to send out her form before July 1st. As I was waiting in line, there was a pretty cute guy in front of me. After I let the lady stamp my letter with the postage date I noticed that the guy in front of me was leaving at the same time. As a gentleman would, he opened the first door of the post office for me and I said "Thank you." Then, he went to open the second door saying "And one more to open for the lovely lady!" I was really happy that he walked faster in order to catch up and open the second door for me, so I looked at him to say "thanks" when I walk right into the wall beside the door....
Doh!
I dropped my keys and began to fumble around like a fool on the floor. I got up pretty quickly though and ran out the door to my car.
I was so embarrassed, but obviously I survived. Ha!
It's like how I was on a date with a boy and we were taking a nice, long walk together while conversing. And the moment I look at my phone to see what time it is, a pole pops up for me to walk into!
But that's okie.
I laughed it off and today was really good. ^_^
Thursday, June 30, 2011
I'm confused.
WHOA. THIS IS WEIRD...
So my sister and I both liked guys who had the same first name and now we find out they have the same birthday...
O_O
When was the last time this happened to you?!?!
AHAHAHA.
I guess...
~~~~~~~~~
Edit: Oh, I was confused about something else, but I don't remember anymore. So this makes the title not relevant at all to this entry... xD
my sister and I are more alike than I thought? o_O
So my sister and I both liked guys who had the same first name and now we find out they have the same birthday...
O_O
When was the last time this happened to you?!?!
AHAHAHA.
I guess...
~~~~~~~~~
Edit: Oh, I was confused about something else, but I don't remember anymore. So this makes the title not relevant at all to this entry... xD
my sister and I are more alike than I thought? o_O
I look like a slutty mermaid
So I splurged on some sparkly green eyeliner because it was really pretty. :X
It looks different on my eyes than I imagined. xD
Metallic emerald green is my favorite color... <3
Ever since Pokemon Emerald came out and I saw the cartridge. =]
At first it was just green.
Well, scratch that. Let me tell you a random childhood memory.
My favorite color used to be red, as in BRIGHT red. You know, Asians love red. It's lucky! Plus, I always got money in envelopes and such.
The thing is, my sister's favorite color was red too (it's now black... ugh. or periwinkle. or white because it's very clean). And at that time my parents had bought two diaries for us. One was red and one was green. God, they were so beautiful, I can't really describe it well. Hm... The covers were like Chinese fabric and had golden dragons on them. The background colors were either blood red or emerald green. At first, I really wanted the red one. But it just so happens that during that day my ma was reading feng shui elements and I am MOUNTAIN EARTH. And my sister happens to be FIRE. I'm not sure whether or not the quarrel my sister and I had over the red diary made her tell me that green is a healthier color and I should stay away from red or she sincerely believed in feng shui...
But anyway from then on, I changed my favorite color to green. I was eleven then...
I HAD EVERYTHING IN GREEN.
Jackets, blankets, notebooks, clothes holders, wallets, necklaces, plants... lots of plants. xD
And then later on when I got Pokemon I decided metallic emerald green was my favorite color.
The end.
*Random note, but actually relevant: Feng shui elements are different from those of the zodiac. For instance, although my feng-shui element is earth, I am a water rooster. <3 That is all. I thought you should be informed. <3
It looks different on my eyes than I imagined. xD
Metallic emerald green is my favorite color... <3
Ever since Pokemon Emerald came out and I saw the cartridge. =]
At first it was just green.
Well, scratch that. Let me tell you a random childhood memory.
My favorite color used to be red, as in BRIGHT red. You know, Asians love red. It's lucky! Plus, I always got money in envelopes and such.
The thing is, my sister's favorite color was red too (it's now black... ugh. or periwinkle. or white because it's very clean). And at that time my parents had bought two diaries for us. One was red and one was green. God, they were so beautiful, I can't really describe it well. Hm... The covers were like Chinese fabric and had golden dragons on them. The background colors were either blood red or emerald green. At first, I really wanted the red one. But it just so happens that during that day my ma was reading feng shui elements and I am MOUNTAIN EARTH. And my sister happens to be FIRE. I'm not sure whether or not the quarrel my sister and I had over the red diary made her tell me that green is a healthier color and I should stay away from red or she sincerely believed in feng shui...
But anyway from then on, I changed my favorite color to green. I was eleven then...
I HAD EVERYTHING IN GREEN.
Jackets, blankets, notebooks, clothes holders, wallets, necklaces, plants... lots of plants. xD
And then later on when I got Pokemon I decided metallic emerald green was my favorite color.
The end.
*Random note, but actually relevant: Feng shui elements are different from those of the zodiac. For instance, although my feng-shui element is earth, I am a water rooster. <3 That is all. I thought you should be informed. <3
Sometimes...
Sometimes I write cryptic little Facebook updates or couplets on Twitter.
Maybe it'll be something random about flowers.
I might have spoken about fish or trees.
Or a dream! Some fantasy.
And then I'll pretend that I was the girl in the poems I write by leaving traces of her.
For instance, when spring came I wrote a lot about flowers, especially white azaleas. Then, I'd just leave flowers around everywhere. Ha. I'd pick them, then leave them somewhere I thought someone might find them. I left three at the back door of Austins, five at the third floor student union, one on top of the slide in Blanchard park, one of the bench by the river and a few other places.
It's kind of random.
I'd like people to pick up those flowers and wonder where'd it came from. They aren't from here...
It's sort of romantic, not in the lovey dovey way, but of the writing period.
I seem to live what I write.
Maybe it'll be something random about flowers.
I might have spoken about fish or trees.
Or a dream! Some fantasy.
And then I'll pretend that I was the girl in the poems I write by leaving traces of her.
For instance, when spring came I wrote a lot about flowers, especially white azaleas. Then, I'd just leave flowers around everywhere. Ha. I'd pick them, then leave them somewhere I thought someone might find them. I left three at the back door of Austins, five at the third floor student union, one on top of the slide in Blanchard park, one of the bench by the river and a few other places.
It's kind of random.
I'd like people to pick up those flowers and wonder where'd it came from. They aren't from here...
It's sort of romantic, not in the lovey dovey way, but of the writing period.
I seem to live what I write.
Just a thought
What would be the greater accomplishment:
1. Never picking up smoking
or
2. Getting addicted to smoking and then quitting.
I just had the craziest idea. What a challenge that would be if I smoked and wanted to quit, right? It's super addictive.
Don't worry, I'm not going to do that. -_-;;
I'm already challenging myself with people and the future.
No need to waste my time and energy on smoking just to quit...
Just to show everyone in my family that I can do it...
and that they can too.
1. Never picking up smoking
or
2. Getting addicted to smoking and then quitting.
I just had the craziest idea. What a challenge that would be if I smoked and wanted to quit, right? It's super addictive.
Don't worry, I'm not going to do that. -_-;;
I'm already challenging myself with people and the future.
No need to waste my time and energy on smoking just to quit...
Just to show everyone in my family that I can do it...
and that they can too.
*Ahem*
I said I would be avoiding the internet for the next few days to evaluate and form an opinion of how the future will turn out.
Blogging doesn't count. Ahaha.
I meant that I'm avoiding Twitter, social networking sites, IMing, Reddit, 4chan and such.
No internet!!! Except blogging.
Because the computer distracts me from life and draws me away from observing with my own eyes.
Also, this is really more like a diary.
:O
You're reading my personal thoughts right now...
This is how my mind thinks...
This is the voice in my head!
:X
I used to not be lazy and write in diaries by hand, but I gave that up once I started high school.
Hm...
When I read my old entries I thank the lord I have changed.
And then I remember that I'm really not sure about a God and am pretty much atheist.
Ahhhh. SCIENCE.
And Carl Sagan.
Bwahahah.
I keep getting off topic...
Anyway, it's not like this topic was on topic anyway. (I didn't need this sentence... I just like the way it sounds in my head.)
I was such a sad, depressed child for the worst reasons.
Oh, to be 13 again and dumb.
If I could, I would go back in time to comfort myself and let myself know how awesome I have become and WILL become (because the me right now is always getting better, you know? =]).
Er
let's see...
Blogging is exempt from my break from the internet.
That is all, folks.
<3
Oh yeah! One more random thought.
Never mind. You don't have to know.
Blogging doesn't count. Ahaha.
I meant that I'm avoiding Twitter, social networking sites, IMing, Reddit, 4chan and such.
No internet!!! Except blogging.
Because the computer distracts me from life and draws me away from observing with my own eyes.
Also, this is really more like a diary.
:O
You're reading my personal thoughts right now...
This is how my mind thinks...
This is the voice in my head!
:X
I used to not be lazy and write in diaries by hand, but I gave that up once I started high school.
Hm...
When I read my old entries I thank the lord I have changed.
And then I remember that I'm really not sure about a God and am pretty much atheist.
Ahhhh. SCIENCE.
And Carl Sagan.
Bwahahah.
I keep getting off topic...
Anyway, it's not like this topic was on topic anyway. (I didn't need this sentence... I just like the way it sounds in my head.)
I was such a sad, depressed child for the worst reasons.
Oh, to be 13 again and dumb.
If I could, I would go back in time to comfort myself and let myself know how awesome I have become and WILL become (because the me right now is always getting better, you know? =]).
Er
let's see...
Blogging is exempt from my break from the internet.
That is all, folks.
<3
Oh yeah! One more random thought.
Never mind. You don't have to know.
Anger management
... No one makes me angry.
BWAHAHAHA. Yeah, right...
Anyway, I let someone borrow my car yesterday...
And do you know how they returned it?
with an empty tank, trash EVERYWHERE and the driver's seat moved up allllllll the way to the front.
That got my blood boiling for a hot minute.
It cost $80 to fill up that tank, but I don't care. I can make money.
I'm just upset about the trash!!!!!!!!!!
Okie, this may sound weird, but I am TERRIFIED of hoarding and trash.
aslkjfa;lwkejfaw;ef
I've said it before, but really it's because of how I grew up.
PAPERS... EVERYWHERE... WHY?!?!!
T_________T
So yeah, if anything of mine is grossly appearing out of control, I'll start expressing symptoms of PTSD.
It's because it's very comforting to feel like I have control over my life.
Like... things I can control include: organization, grades, instruments, my weight (though that's a bit more challenging these days), programs (but not really, it's just an example) or whatever!!!
And there's a difference between messy and hoarding. :X
Erk, yech, blech. blah.
I like having stuff in folders.
I need to clean my car tonight or tomorrow.
And pay for gas.
You know what, I don't understand why I drive a $65k car perfectly fine and she won't ever let me borrow her jaloppy.
:(
Too many sad faces in this entry.
Hm..........
Well then, you know what makes me happy?
Puppies.
I will make an appointment to play with a puppy.
:D
*sigh*
I'm so in love.
BWAHAHAHA. Yeah, right...
Anyway, I let someone borrow my car yesterday...
And do you know how they returned it?
with an empty tank, trash EVERYWHERE and the driver's seat moved up allllllll the way to the front.
That got my blood boiling for a hot minute.
It cost $80 to fill up that tank, but I don't care. I can make money.
I'm just upset about the trash!!!!!!!!!!
Okie, this may sound weird, but I am TERRIFIED of hoarding and trash.
aslkjfa;lwkejfaw;ef
I've said it before, but really it's because of how I grew up.
PAPERS... EVERYWHERE... WHY?!?!!
T_________T
So yeah, if anything of mine is grossly appearing out of control, I'll start expressing symptoms of PTSD.
It's because it's very comforting to feel like I have control over my life.
Like... things I can control include: organization, grades, instruments, my weight (though that's a bit more challenging these days), programs (but not really, it's just an example) or whatever!!!
And there's a difference between messy and hoarding. :X
Erk, yech, blech. blah.
I like having stuff in folders.
I need to clean my car tonight or tomorrow.
And pay for gas.
You know what, I don't understand why I drive a $65k car perfectly fine and she won't ever let me borrow her jaloppy.
:(
Too many sad faces in this entry.
Hm..........
Well then, you know what makes me happy?
Puppies.
I will make an appointment to play with a puppy.
:D
*sigh*
I'm so in love.
A dream within a dream...
Today I woke up.
This morning I dreamt about a boy I miss. At first he was nice in the dream, but then he started becoming cocky, selfish and indifferent towards my feelings.
Hmph! *typical girl pouting with arms crossed*
Because he was being a douche I left.
I was hoping he'd say sorry or something,
But he didn't.
So I felt used.
And sad.
And lonely.
Other people were there though, in my dream. But I forget so easily. I only recall the events that happened with the main guy.
So I woke up.
And felt upset at the guy, and a little bit sad.
After I showered the effect of just waking up began to wear off.
So I realized I was awake in reality.
PRAYING MANTIS CRAZY GIRLFRIEND MEME ANYONE?!
Haha. So yeah.
That is all.
I typed this whole entry with my phone!
Er, just another love song
Here, listen to this.
I heard this song, but only Ella's part, at an aircraft museum in lovely Seattle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK15L55CtGc
I love her voice *dreamy sigh*...
Man, I'm too emotional when the sun rises.
Anyway, it was when Tommy and I first started dating-ish. I had asked him out earlier, but he said "no". Then, this kid named Stephen we both knew at the temple and martial arts asked me out.
Ah... I'm too tired to tell you the rest of the story. It's kinda cute and dumb.
Good night.
I'm making believe.
Also, I never kiss my pillow.
Are you kidding me?
That's weird.
I heard this song, but only Ella's part, at an aircraft museum in lovely Seattle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK15L55CtGc
I love her voice *dreamy sigh*...
Man, I'm too emotional when the sun rises.
Anyway, it was when Tommy and I first started dating-ish. I had asked him out earlier, but he said "no". Then, this kid named Stephen we both knew at the temple and martial arts asked me out.
Ah... I'm too tired to tell you the rest of the story. It's kinda cute and dumb.
Good night.
I'm making believe.
Also, I never kiss my pillow.
Are you kidding me?
That's weird.
Gah, it's 6 something in the morning
and I'm listening to John Lennon's song "Love"
on YouTube
o_O
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GmVajkqLNU
Well...
I don't know what to think of it.
When I listen to the Beatles or any of their solo albums, it just makes me feel good.
But I never go, "That song is genius!!!"
I have for some Gorillaz songs though, and some others. :X
But I just like the Beatles/John/Paul/George.
Also, John and Yoko really loved each other...
:(
I know a lot of people don't like her and blame her for the Beatles' breakup, but she made the guy really happy.
Ahhhh, even though I hate repetition (have I told you that?), I'm going to listen to the rest of John's album, sleep, wake up and make money.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Nhi loves.
on YouTube
o_O
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GmVajkqLNU
Well...
I don't know what to think of it.
When I listen to the Beatles or any of their solo albums, it just makes me feel good.
But I never go, "That song is genius!!!"
I have for some Gorillaz songs though, and some others. :X
But I just like the Beatles/John/Paul/George.
Also, John and Yoko really loved each other...
:(
I know a lot of people don't like her and blame her for the Beatles' breakup, but she made the guy really happy.
Ahhhh, even though I hate repetition (have I told you that?), I'm going to listen to the rest of John's album, sleep, wake up and make money.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Nhi loves.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He texted me
about google+ though
and uh
well
I should have never told the twitter world.
Also
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
What a great day it is to be Nhi. My two loves who make me sigh dreamily... You'll never know. :)
about google+ though
and uh
well
I should have never told the twitter world.
Also
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
What a great day it is to be Nhi. My two loves who make me sigh dreamily... You'll never know. :)
You know what, world
I SHALL STOP JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS
I would like to take the next few days to add logic into this hypothetical future I am forming in my head (and avoiding the internetz)......
because from jumping to conclusions and following some sort of fallible logic (can't remember which) I can see a very extreme future
and I don't like it.
But this is because I haven't accounted for politics, sciences, technology, religion, population and such yet.
I will let you know about my conclusion!!!
In possibly 1-3 days!!!
And hopefully/more than likely
it will be optimistic!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=]
And so I shall bid thee adieu. <3
(Yes. I am freaking out about this way more than I should. I don't know why. Also, I have my cell phone.)
I would like to take the next few days to add logic into this hypothetical future I am forming in my head (and avoiding the internetz)......
because from jumping to conclusions and following some sort of fallible logic (can't remember which) I can see a very extreme future
and I don't like it.
But this is because I haven't accounted for politics, sciences, technology, religion, population and such yet.
I will let you know about my conclusion!!!
In possibly 1-3 days!!!
And hopefully/more than likely
it will be optimistic!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=]
And so I shall bid thee adieu. <3
(Yes. I am freaking out about this way more than I should. I don't know why. Also, I have my cell phone.)
Erk. Another realization.
I just realized that my life goal to help others is flawed.
How can I be so sure I will do what I want to do?
I just realized the world is changing...
it's dumb because I realized this as I was reading Google+ features.
Imagine, Google is changing the world!
I'm going crazy now.
The world knows too much.
Is there a too much?
What's happening...
Maybe I'm just freaking out.
If everyone's connected
They'll want to connect EVERYONE, right?
Then...
imagine.
But I'm scared to.
What about conformity?
Will it happen?
Maybe this connectedness... or whatever it's called will let people embrace individuality.
I don't know.
I never connected with anyone.
I can't even remember how I made friends before social networking sites.
Er.
Anyway, my original point to this blog entry before freaking out is that my original life goal is going to change as the world changes. This is because I do not know the future. Therefore, NO ONE can know their purpose in life. Doesn't that make you feel better?
Everyone's lost.
Not just me.
Not just you...
But, that doesn't mean we all can't be happy. That'll always be my goal. ^_^
How can I be so sure I will do what I want to do?
I just realized the world is changing...
it's dumb because I realized this as I was reading Google+ features.
Imagine, Google is changing the world!
I'm going crazy now.
The world knows too much.
Is there a too much?
What's happening...
Maybe I'm just freaking out.
If everyone's connected
They'll want to connect EVERYONE, right?
Then...
imagine.
But I'm scared to.
What about conformity?
Will it happen?
Maybe this connectedness... or whatever it's called will let people embrace individuality.
I don't know.
I never connected with anyone.
I can't even remember how I made friends before social networking sites.
Er.
Anyway, my original point to this blog entry before freaking out is that my original life goal is going to change as the world changes. This is because I do not know the future. Therefore, NO ONE can know their purpose in life. Doesn't that make you feel better?
Everyone's lost.
Not just me.
Not just you...
But, that doesn't mean we all can't be happy. That'll always be my goal. ^_^
Arguments
Sometimes when I start getting angry I suddenly stop talking and think to myself "Must... not... argue."
And then I continue on my day because I know that I'll forget all about it later.
Don't you hate pointless arguments based on pride?
*le sigh*
But there's a borderline.
Well, I've got to go now! I'll explain later. ^_^
And then I continue on my day because I know that I'll forget all about it later.
Don't you hate pointless arguments based on pride?
*le sigh*
But there's a borderline.
Well, I've got to go now! I'll explain later. ^_^
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Classical music
Ah... my first love.
I hope to never meet a man who's a concert pianist.
I love classical music.
Mm... So good.
I play well, but not THAT well
because I never practice.
I just play.
There's a difference, you know.
I never was musically inclined, I just learn fast.
I hope to never meet a man who's a concert pianist.
I love classical music.
Mm... So good.
I play well, but not THAT well
because I never practice.
I just play.
There's a difference, you know.
I never was musically inclined, I just learn fast.
Pointless reason to wake up
Sis: Nhi... Nhi... NHI!!! Wake up.
Me: *mumbles* Whatmphgr?
Sis: Gramma wants to know if you can record music with this.
Me: She wants to record music?
Sis: Yeah.
Me: Who's singing? *thinking of an old tape recorder and such*
Sis: No, with this.
*opens eyes and looks at sis*
Me: That's a DVD.
Sis: Yeah.
Me: Yeah, you can burn music onto that.
------------
and so she left and I tried to go back to sleep.
Me: *mumbles* Whatmphgr?
Sis: Gramma wants to know if you can record music with this.
Me: She wants to record music?
Sis: Yeah.
Me: Who's singing? *thinking of an old tape recorder and such*
Sis: No, with this.
*opens eyes and looks at sis*
Me: That's a DVD.
Sis: Yeah.
Me: Yeah, you can burn music onto that.
------------
and so she left and I tried to go back to sleep.
Who do I love?
Apparently that's incorrect...
Whom do I love.
And that is why I just about scored perfect on math and failed in the reading SATs.
Whom do I love.
And that is why I just about scored perfect on math and failed in the reading SATs.
Morning
hello, grumpy Nhi here.
it's morning time
...
I had four hours of sleep.
Family woke me up for three reasons today.
1. Call people for them
2. Explain directions on how to dye their hair because they couldn't read the Spanish directions (BUT THERE WERE PICTURES... -_-;;_
3. computer help. Um, Google. EVERYTHING. even for the first two.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. THE SUNLIGHT BURNS.
But isn't it great that I can wake up and be useful?
On three different occasions.
^_^
So it's not so bad, at least I know they can depend on me. : )
There's an upside to everything.
Hm...
And now I'm not so grumpy anymore. ^_^
I love my family. I love my life. <3
Dear God, I hope I don't become one of those teenagers who complain about their mom or something on Facebook. Or is it too late? :X
Btw, I look great today.
it's morning time
...
I had four hours of sleep.
Family woke me up for three reasons today.
1. Call people for them
2. Explain directions on how to dye their hair because they couldn't read the Spanish directions (BUT THERE WERE PICTURES... -_-;;_
3. computer help. Um, Google. EVERYTHING. even for the first two.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. THE SUNLIGHT BURNS.
But isn't it great that I can wake up and be useful?
On three different occasions.
^_^
So it's not so bad, at least I know they can depend on me. : )
There's an upside to everything.
Hm...
And now I'm not so grumpy anymore. ^_^
I love my family. I love my life. <3
Dear God, I hope I don't become one of those teenagers who complain about their mom or something on Facebook. Or is it too late? :X
Btw, I look great today.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Pheromones
I don't think any other girls are as aware of pheromones as I am. Mmmm... the scent of manly men.
Only because I read this in 8th grade did I start taking note of chemical reactions:
This also happens to be my favorite scent.
Man, sometimes I'm a real creeper.
But seriously guys, if it's cold out, you can drive a woman wild when you lend her your jacket because 1. God, that's sooooo "romantic" and chivalrous and 2. PHEROMONES.
Mmmmm. Pheromones. It seems like forever since a guy has attracted my attention like that. Ahaha.
Only because I read this in 8th grade did I start taking note of chemical reactions:
"I put on some makeup, and, finally ready, picked up Paul's jacket to return it to him. Catching the scent of his aftershave, I stopped for a moment just to hold it up to my face. I breathed in the scent, picking up more than just aftershave. It was mingled with tobacco smoke, sweat and pure maleness. This was decades before researchers reported that scents called pheromones were responsible for sexual attraction, but as I stood there, I was only too aware of the effect Paul had on me.
Oh great! Now he didn't even have to be in the room and he got me crazy!"
This also happens to be my favorite scent.
Man, sometimes I'm a real creeper.
But seriously guys, if it's cold out, you can drive a woman wild when you lend her your jacket because 1. God, that's sooooo "romantic" and chivalrous and 2. PHEROMONES.
Mmmmm. Pheromones. It seems like forever since a guy has attracted my attention like that. Ahaha.
Spanish
Steven: Hey
Me: Hola. ^_^
Steven: Hola. ?Como estas?
Me: Mas o menos, ?y tu?
Steven: Bien. Gracias.
...
See what three years of Spanish in high school gets you.
Me: Yeah. Nowhere.
Me: Hola. ^_^
Steven: Hola. ?Como estas?
Me: Mas o menos, ?y tu?
Steven: Bien. Gracias.
...
See what three years of Spanish in high school gets you.
Me: Yeah. Nowhere.
Bad boys
I was reading a magazine article today at the doctor's office. The author was trying to explain why good girls like bad boys.
Well, I consider myself to be a pretty nice girl. I go to church (okie, so I'm not really religious). Er, I make good grades. I've never smoked anything. Blah, blah, blah...
Anyway, the article was making some sense. They're more aggressive and pursue the girls while nicer guys are shyer. Girls like the challenge and want to change a guy. They're more exciting, something different. They want something unpredictable, no commitment. Some girls have low self-esteem. Daddy problems? Media brainwashing (okie, I admit that I like James Dean).
At the end of the article, the author warns girls that they should watch out for bad guys because they can cause heartache. Good girls should try finding good guys, like Edward Cullen.
Wait, what the fuck?!
HE'S NOT EVEN REAL. -_______-;;
Suddenly, I didn't care for that article at all and couldn't believe I just read something like that. aweljraw;lefjaefe
Ahaha.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
Look at this list:
http://www.fanpop.com/spots/twilight-series/articles/3218/title/50-edward-cullen-characteristics-every-guy-should
Do girls REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYY think they'll find someone with all of this? It's so shallow and dumb.
Sorry.
I'm just angry the author had me interested and believing what she said for such a long time.
Haha.
Oh goodness.
Maybe it's because............
Never mind. I shall save that for another rant.
Well, I consider myself to be a pretty nice girl. I go to church (okie, so I'm not really religious). Er, I make good grades. I've never smoked anything. Blah, blah, blah...
Anyway, the article was making some sense. They're more aggressive and pursue the girls while nicer guys are shyer. Girls like the challenge and want to change a guy. They're more exciting, something different. They want something unpredictable, no commitment. Some girls have low self-esteem. Daddy problems? Media brainwashing (okie, I admit that I like James Dean).
At the end of the article, the author warns girls that they should watch out for bad guys because they can cause heartache. Good girls should try finding good guys, like Edward Cullen.
Wait, what the fuck?!
HE'S NOT EVEN REAL. -_______-;;
Suddenly, I didn't care for that article at all and couldn't believe I just read something like that. aweljraw;lefjaefe
Ahaha.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
Look at this list:
http://www.fanpop.com/spots/twilight-series/articles/3218/title/50-edward-cullen-characteristics-every-guy-should
Do girls REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYY think they'll find someone with all of this? It's so shallow and dumb.
Sorry.
I'm just angry the author had me interested and believing what she said for such a long time.
Haha.
Oh goodness.
Maybe it's because............
Never mind. I shall save that for another rant.
Ironic?
*after watching a comedic skit about irony with my sis*
Sis: what are you doing now?
Me: reading this guy's blog
Sis *looks to see who it is*: oh my goodness, nhi. stop being so vain, you know that he's NEVER going to write anything about you, right?
Me: what? i didn't even think that! *although he's pretty cute. argh, it's just a crush. he doesn't even know or remember that i exist*
*NEW POST THAT VERY SECOND*
Me and Sis -> :O !!!!!!!!!!!!!
*I click the link to read the post*
*sis and I skim through the words... "sweet, like honey"... "cute"... "ambitious"... "intelligent"... "creates a hopeful atmosphere"*
Sis: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE JUST WROTE ABOUT YOU.
and at the bottom,
"... kind of sorry the gal is too young for a guy like me."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I scream out to the monitor.
Sis *turns to me and smirks*: Well, that was ironic.
Sis: what are you doing now?
Me: reading this guy's blog
Sis *looks to see who it is*: oh my goodness, nhi. stop being so vain, you know that he's NEVER going to write anything about you, right?
Me: what? i didn't even think that! *although he's pretty cute. argh, it's just a crush. he doesn't even know or remember that i exist*
*NEW POST THAT VERY SECOND*
Me and Sis -> :O !!!!!!!!!!!!!
*I click the link to read the post*
*sis and I skim through the words... "sweet, like honey"... "cute"... "ambitious"... "intelligent"... "creates a hopeful atmosphere"*
Sis: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE JUST WROTE ABOUT YOU.
and at the bottom,
"... kind of sorry the gal is too young for a guy like me."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I scream out to the monitor.
Sis *turns to me and smirks*: Well, that was ironic.
Theme song
http://phoenixrip.bandcamp.com/track/nhi
Yeah... So this song wasn't recorded well with much effort and was improvised. But he's still a British guy, so I'm happy.
My aunts really hate this song. Bahaha.
Makes me love it even more.
My mom's a sucker for musicians (probably why she married my dad).
Anyway... this song always cheers me up. It's so nice and simple. Describes me pretty well! Don't cha think?
Come on,
Reddit
spring
poetry
just spending the day and time together
colin mochrie
making guitar picks
and having songs written for me
PERFECT.
Ahaha.
So yeah.
I'm having a good day today, not surprised since I knew this week would be fantabulous.
Soooo didn't expect meeting my hero and having my eyes opened.
Doctor called me pretty. :X
Also
pet names
have such an effect on me.
*sighhhhhhhhhhhHH*
but only in most conditions.
Like from a caring person
or a hot guy.
Normally... I wouldn't like a guy calling me "babe" because I'm not a baby! >_>
But this was an exception, he was so caring and said it so well. o_o
Eh... never mind.
I'm just a weird girl.
Carry on!
Yeah... So this song wasn't recorded well with much effort and was improvised. But he's still a British guy, so I'm happy.
My aunts really hate this song. Bahaha.
Makes me love it even more.
My mom's a sucker for musicians (probably why she married my dad).
Anyway... this song always cheers me up. It's so nice and simple. Describes me pretty well! Don't cha think?
Come on,
spring
poetry
just spending the day and time together
colin mochrie
making guitar picks
and having songs written for me
PERFECT.
Ahaha.
So yeah.
I'm having a good day today, not surprised since I knew this week would be fantabulous.
Soooo didn't expect meeting my hero and having my eyes opened.
Doctor called me pretty. :X
Also
pet names
have such an effect on me.
*sighhhhhhhhhhhHH*
but only in most conditions.
Like from a caring person
or a hot guy.
Normally... I wouldn't like a guy calling me "babe" because I'm not a baby! >_>
But this was an exception, he was so caring and said it so well. o_o
Eh... never mind.
I'm just a weird girl.
Carry on!
Nhi
I hate people who call me "Hanh", and I don't mean those who don't know Viet. Argh.
They're just so lazy. It's either "Hanh-Nhi" or "Nhi"... rawr, rawr, rawr.
I mean, I don't know.
Argh.
Those lazy bastards.
They're just so lazy. It's either "Hanh-Nhi" or "Nhi"... rawr, rawr, rawr.
I mean, I don't know.
Argh.
Those lazy bastards.
I should slow down...
1. Passport
2. Work
3. Figure out school stuffs
4. Go
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apparently I cause the most worry for my family... They say I'm too naive, gullible and trusting, that I always give myself out to help others whether or not they're just using me. A monk once told them that my spirit is just easily swayed and amazed.
Blah. I'll continue this rant later. I need to sleep. It's 8 in the morning and I didn't get any rest last night, my brain was going crazy!
2. Work
3. Figure out school stuffs
4. Go
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apparently I cause the most worry for my family... They say I'm too naive, gullible and trusting, that I always give myself out to help others whether or not they're just using me. A monk once told them that my spirit is just easily swayed and amazed.
Blah. I'll continue this rant later. I need to sleep. It's 8 in the morning and I didn't get any rest last night, my brain was going crazy!
Revelation
...
I was going to blog about last night.
But I can't.
Too mind blown.
God, I just really want to help the world.
You don't even understand how much I feel like I should help, should contribute and should work for a better world.
It IS possible.
I wish I could tell everyone around me to stop being so selfish and cynical.
Sometimes I just want to stamp my foot and scream out, "TRY THINKING MORE POSITIVELY FOR ONCE."
Please.
I hate money.
I haven't decided for the longest time what I wanted to do, but now I do.
I met my hero last night. Whether or not he was telling the truth, I don't care. His story is worth my praise.
I was going to blog about last night.
But I can't.
Too mind blown.
God, I just really want to help the world.
You don't even understand how much I feel like I should help, should contribute and should work for a better world.
It IS possible.
I wish I could tell everyone around me to stop being so selfish and cynical.
Sometimes I just want to stamp my foot and scream out, "TRY THINKING MORE POSITIVELY FOR ONCE."
Please.
I hate money.
I haven't decided for the longest time what I wanted to do, but now I do.
I met my hero last night. Whether or not he was telling the truth, I don't care. His story is worth my praise.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Stupid
"Do ngu!!!"
I am called that often.
Literally translated -> Stupid stuff, stupid pile, stupid thing...
And that is why I hate the word "stupid"!
English or Viet, I cringe whenever I hear the word... sometimes I'll get angry when someone calls me that whether or not they're joking. I can't help it, yet. I mean, I'm trying. And please don't call yourself stupid or dumb, especially when you're OBVIOUSLY not.
Sometimes the person known for calling me this gets into an argument with me.
Oh wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
By the way, if you don't know, I'm pretty book smart.
Not very street smart, yet, but I'm getting there.
Sorry I keep comma splicing... I just like to create pauses and they're all intentional.
I was also reading some of my writing when I was younger and found out my grammar used to be horridly Asian, but since I've begun typing my words have significantly improved. Bwahaha.
And now I shall end with a song I have written:
(Hello darling was originally something else, but I have edited the lyrics for this blog. Also, sorry if you don't enjoy the immature rhymes, but I quite like how well it describes myself as a person when I wrote this... Ahaha. I love it!)
I am called that often.
Literally translated -> Stupid stuff, stupid pile, stupid thing...
And that is why I hate the word "stupid"!
English or Viet, I cringe whenever I hear the word... sometimes I'll get angry when someone calls me that whether or not they're joking. I can't help it, yet. I mean, I'm trying. And please don't call yourself stupid or dumb, especially when you're OBVIOUSLY not.
Sometimes the person known for calling me this gets into an argument with me.
Oh wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
By the way, if you don't know, I'm pretty book smart.
Not very street smart, yet, but I'm getting there.
Sorry I keep comma splicing... I just like to create pauses and they're all intentional.
I was also reading some of my writing when I was younger and found out my grammar used to be horridly Asian, but since I've begun typing my words have significantly improved. Bwahaha.
And now I shall end with a song I have written:
(Hello darling was originally something else, but I have edited the lyrics for this blog. Also, sorry if you don't enjoy the immature rhymes, but I quite like how well it describes myself as a person when I wrote this... Ahaha. I love it!)
(Chorus) Hello darling, you stole my heart,
Please don’t hurt me and tear it apart.
When you smile I'm your slave.
I don’t know what to do, I’m not brave!
Encountering you was not intended,
I left my judgment undefended.
If I’d only said "no" that night,
I wouldn’t be stuck in this plight!
About to leave, you caught me off guard.
You trapped me with your words, left me barred.
I came to listen with a closed mind,
But after a while I began to unwind.
(Chorus)
(SONG LINE DELETED).
I did not plan on being aroused.
Your touch so soft drove me insane,
Fighting you off seemed too mundane.
Waking up with you was such a dream,
It’s hard to believe in fairy tale themes.
I’ll never forget that spellbinding night,
Of when I first met you and felt so right.
(Chorus)
Now as time’s passed I know I’m wrong.
I wish it’s a lie that you are gone.
Fairytale dreams don’t come true,
But I wanted to believe in them with you.
I made a mistake, so I lied.
I couldn’t do anything, so I cried.
If only this was another time,
What I did wouldn't be such a crime.
(Chorus)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I finished writing these lyrics some time last year, but I keep changing the tune. I'm going to completely change it up when I'm done though, this is only the start.
Also, it seems as if all of my song lyrics are much, much, much simpler than my poems. "Well, duh" I say to myself. I want people to analyze what I write in poems to understand me (secretly hoping that poor, unfortunate high school and college kids will have to annotate them one day) and I'd rather people just sit back and enjoy my music. Is that weird?
It's odd when
someone recognizes me because of my body...
I thought people would notice my former orange/blonde/magenta hair color more than they would of the image of me in a tight, black mini skirt and Louboutins.
But it's whatever.
Don't forget about me!
Seriously though, I memorize people by their faces.
I thought people would notice my former orange/blonde/magenta hair color more than they would of the image of me in a tight, black mini skirt and Louboutins.
But it's whatever.
Don't forget about me!
Seriously though, I memorize people by their faces.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
My ears perk up
when I hear him say Hanh-Nhi.
No one calls me Hanh-Nhi.
But he does...
Why?
1. He can pronounce it
2. He knows what my name means
3. He knows me
And he does it so well. I walk up the steps and he's waiting... "Hanh-Nhi" he calls a bit slower than one would normally say, as if to stretch out my name and make sure he has my attention, which of course, he does. I wake up from my dreamy daze as he continues on with his thoughts. Every once in a while he comments on how beautiful my name is and how beautiful I am... It makes me smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I once knew a guy who loved me. He didn't like me at first, thought I was too good, but I let him know he had a chance. When I went out with him he'd call me "gorgeous" every time I was about to walk away. When he did he would put his hand under my chin, lift my head up, take in all of the features of my face and stare into my eyes. I felt so special. He canceled a threesome the first night we went out because he fell for me. Did everything he could to make sure that I knew he would be the most loyal man I could have and that he appreciated unexpectedly meeting me more than anything else in the world. Unfortunately for him, I really was too good... and not in the way you'd expect either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What a splendid little turn on it is to have someone call me Hanh-Nhi. It's so rare that I can't help but appreciate it each time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nhi. How short. How simple. How me.
Kid.
Child.
Happy.
Smiling.
Innocent.
Curious.
Easily amazed.
Gullible...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
But that's only half of it.
The "Hanh" in Hanh-Nhi is what makes me awesome.
Or different.
Sure, it's not a unique name, but it's no "Jennifer".
Hanh...
luck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lucky child.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who doesn't want to be me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But then again, it's hard growing up with this name... I've tried.
I do like being young though.
Hanh-Nhi.
Don't forget me!
No one calls me Hanh-Nhi.
But he does...
Why?
1. He can pronounce it
2. He knows what my name means
3. He knows me
And he does it so well. I walk up the steps and he's waiting... "Hanh-Nhi" he calls a bit slower than one would normally say, as if to stretch out my name and make sure he has my attention, which of course, he does. I wake up from my dreamy daze as he continues on with his thoughts. Every once in a while he comments on how beautiful my name is and how beautiful I am... It makes me smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I once knew a guy who loved me. He didn't like me at first, thought I was too good, but I let him know he had a chance. When I went out with him he'd call me "gorgeous" every time I was about to walk away. When he did he would put his hand under my chin, lift my head up, take in all of the features of my face and stare into my eyes. I felt so special. He canceled a threesome the first night we went out because he fell for me. Did everything he could to make sure that I knew he would be the most loyal man I could have and that he appreciated unexpectedly meeting me more than anything else in the world. Unfortunately for him, I really was too good... and not in the way you'd expect either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What a splendid little turn on it is to have someone call me Hanh-Nhi. It's so rare that I can't help but appreciate it each time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nhi. How short. How simple. How me.
Kid.
Child.
Happy.
Smiling.
Innocent.
Curious.
Easily amazed.
Gullible...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
But that's only half of it.
The "Hanh" in Hanh-Nhi is what makes me awesome.
Or different.
Sure, it's not a unique name, but it's no "Jennifer".
Hanh...
luck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lucky child.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who doesn't want to be me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But then again, it's hard growing up with this name... I've tried.
I do like being young though.
Hanh-Nhi.
Don't forget me!
A goal
I would like to record one decent song by the end of the year. That is my goal!!! Just... one... song. (Even though I have about 20 in my head. It seems like I always start something but never have the willpower to finish them. Or time? Not sure.)
KA-CHOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM HANH-NHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Btw, I am looking great this week!
Bahahahaha. So yeah. I love myself. So. Much. Self. CONFIDENCE.
Let me tell you something, I'm going to do great things.
I will travel. People keep telling me "JUST DO IT", but it's not that easy... when you're 17... and your dad is super strict... and was part of an Asian mafia (guess that's why moms always try to hook me up with their sons, but more on that later if I feel like it)... and is a lawyer (yes, he is a doctor with a law degree)... and worked for the state.... so he knows every cop and judge...
Well, it's just not that easy to travel being me!!!
Anyway, when I'm 18 I WILL do it. Don't know where or when though. I do feel like I'm a college girl. A degree is for me, it's the easiest path for me. I believe I can do a lot with chemistry, I don't care what you say, chemistry is the foundation for everythingggggggggggggggggg. (Okie, I'm on the fence between chemistry and math, but chem is much broader. :D)
SLEEP.
Yes, yes, yes....
That is what I shall do now.
Good night. Sweet dreams.
Mwah! ;^)
By the way... I'm only going insane in a good way. Don't you worry, I'm getting better. It's getting better all the time. <3
KA-CHOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM HANH-NHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Btw, I am looking great this week!
Bahahahaha. So yeah. I love myself. So. Much. Self. CONFIDENCE.
Let me tell you something, I'm going to do great things.
I will travel. People keep telling me "JUST DO IT", but it's not that easy... when you're 17... and your dad is super strict... and was part of an Asian mafia (guess that's why moms always try to hook me up with their sons, but more on that later if I feel like it)... and is a lawyer (yes, he is a doctor with a law degree)... and worked for the state.... so he knows every cop and judge...
Well, it's just not that easy to travel being me!!!
Anyway, when I'm 18 I WILL do it. Don't know where or when though. I do feel like I'm a college girl. A degree is for me, it's the easiest path for me. I believe I can do a lot with chemistry, I don't care what you say, chemistry is the foundation for everythingggggggggggggggggg. (Okie, I'm on the fence between chemistry and math, but chem is much broader. :D)
SLEEP.
Yes, yes, yes....
That is what I shall do now.
Good night. Sweet dreams.
Mwah! ;^)
By the way... I'm only going insane in a good way. Don't you worry, I'm getting better. It's getting better all the time. <3
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Remember me.
So I was thinking.
What happens to all the people I meet when I leave?
What happens to me when they leave?
In fact, do YOU ever remember me?
How often do I pop into a person's mind?
And when I do, what was the cause of that?
Hm...
Did they see an Asian girl?
Or was it the Corvette passing by.
Maybe someone else said "Okie" or "very much so"
The awful laugh I have (well, I LIKE my laugh. It's unique. My family just hates it... ahaha)
You saw the Beatles and remembered I love them
Gorillaz
Import racing cars!
Anything Vietnamese, like pho!
Someone else who puts their finger to their lips/teeth when nervous?
Maybe someone else who twirls their leg around like a fool
The mole on my lip, have you seen it?
Or the one between my right neck and shoulder
Or the one on the left side of my chest
Or the one to the left of my belly button
Or the one on my right hip
Or the birthmark on the back of my thigh
Did you see someone else wear gold bangles on their wrist
Knee-high socks
striped mini skirt
panda shirt
drives without shoes on
lots and lots of CDs
Knives Chau / Scott Pilgrim
texting and chat emoticons ^_^ :3 o_o ......
piano
a poem with similar structure
alliteration!
String theory, or chemistry in general
UCF / Orlando
parks
swings
patience
eyeliner
chapstick
green (or blue, whatever) backpack
Marvel headphones! (with a splitter :3)
The Princess Bride
Kill Bill
Pokemon
Sailormoon
Lucky
Peanut butter honey and banana sandwich
or just peanut butter
maybe just honey (Hanh-Nhi?)
Soy milk
Lemons
Pineapples
Plaid
White cotton v-necks
...
...
...
ARGH!!!!
Ha.
SOooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo many things can remind you of a person, huh? Just the most random and vague details can make you think of someone. It's amazing what the mind can do. What's the purpose of it? I know there must be a reason.
Anyway, I hope all of these things remind you of me. And if they do, I feel really, really special to be running around in your mind! Haha. : )
I'm probably thinking of you, or have thought of you.
Sometimes, things with me are really obvious.
Other times, you should just really ask. I'll be honest.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Good night. I love you. <3
What happens to all the people I meet when I leave?
What happens to me when they leave?
In fact, do YOU ever remember me?
How often do I pop into a person's mind?
And when I do, what was the cause of that?
Hm...
Did they see an Asian girl?
Or was it the Corvette passing by.
Maybe someone else said "Okie" or "very much so"
The awful laugh I have (well, I LIKE my laugh. It's unique. My family just hates it... ahaha)
You saw the Beatles and remembered I love them
Gorillaz
Import racing cars!
Anything Vietnamese, like pho!
Someone else who puts their finger to their lips/teeth when nervous?
Maybe someone else who twirls their leg around like a fool
The mole on my lip, have you seen it?
Or the one between my right neck and shoulder
Or the one on the left side of my chest
Or the one to the left of my belly button
Or the one on my right hip
Or the birthmark on the back of my thigh
Did you see someone else wear gold bangles on their wrist
Knee-high socks
striped mini skirt
panda shirt
drives without shoes on
lots and lots of CDs
Knives Chau / Scott Pilgrim
texting and chat emoticons ^_^ :3 o_o ......
piano
a poem with similar structure
alliteration!
String theory, or chemistry in general
UCF / Orlando
parks
swings
patience
eyeliner
chapstick
green (or blue, whatever) backpack
Marvel headphones! (with a splitter :3)
The Princess Bride
Kill Bill
Pokemon
Sailormoon
Lucky
Peanut butter honey and banana sandwich
or just peanut butter
maybe just honey (Hanh-Nhi?)
Soy milk
Lemons
Pineapples
Plaid
White cotton v-necks
...
...
...
ARGH!!!!
Ha.
SOooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo many things can remind you of a person, huh? Just the most random and vague details can make you think of someone. It's amazing what the mind can do. What's the purpose of it? I know there must be a reason.
Anyway, I hope all of these things remind you of me. And if they do, I feel really, really special to be running around in your mind! Haha. : )
I'm probably thinking of you, or have thought of you.
Sometimes, things with me are really obvious.
Other times, you should just really ask. I'll be honest.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Good night. I love you. <3
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
To the British boy
If I could do it again...
I'd shout out "NO" and run as far away as I could!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
I'd shout out "NO" and run as far away as I could!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
Um. So yeah.
Em nho cach anh cuoi. Em nho nu cuoi cua anh. Anh co nho khi chung toi gan gui khong? Anh se tron mai mai, ha? Em se cho cho anh mot chut, em the di tim anh nua. Anh co choi mot cho choi voi em khong? "Push and pull"? Truoc gio, anh lam em doi cho ba thang. Bay gio anh lam gi lan nua, ha? Doi khi em buon, em nho anh. Nhung em se song sot, em la Nhi ma. Em la mot co gai rat may man. Dung co lo, nhe?
Just let me know and I hope we can stay friends. ^_^
Just let me know and I hope we can stay friends. ^_^
I hate going on Facebook.... I really do.
I feel as if I'm obligated to though. It's so difficult for me to keep up with friends. Without Facebook, I would only have about two people to hang out with here. To socialize with or whatever.
I really use Facebook for school though, I don't have much use for it.
I hate reading people's statuses sometimes
Fucking teenagers are so depressing. And rude! God, they are so dumb. They don't understand. For crying out loud, I'm just a kid and I know not to hate or complain about my family. Yeah, sure, they bug me sometimes, but I sure as hell am not going to exaggerate our arguments and post how I feel on the internet.
I'M A HYPOCRITE!!!!!!!!
Eh. Whatever.
I don't like Facebook though.
I wish neighbors would just talk to me.
And I don't like texting either.
Maybe I'm just an old person?
I used to be one of the people who preferred to converse text based. But now, there's nothing more that I can enjoy than just chilling with friends at their place or something.
Sorry I'm talking so much.
I'm just lonely is all.
I feel as if I'm obligated to though. It's so difficult for me to keep up with friends. Without Facebook, I would only have about two people to hang out with here. To socialize with or whatever.
I really use Facebook for school though, I don't have much use for it.
I hate reading people's statuses sometimes
Fucking teenagers are so depressing. And rude! God, they are so dumb. They don't understand. For crying out loud, I'm just a kid and I know not to hate or complain about my family. Yeah, sure, they bug me sometimes, but I sure as hell am not going to exaggerate our arguments and post how I feel on the internet.
I'M A HYPOCRITE!!!!!!!!
Eh. Whatever.
I don't like Facebook though.
I wish neighbors would just talk to me.
And I don't like texting either.
Maybe I'm just an old person?
I used to be one of the people who preferred to converse text based. But now, there's nothing more that I can enjoy than just chilling with friends at their place or something.
Sorry I'm talking so much.
I'm just lonely is all.
I hope to keep writing
until I have nothing to talk about. Basically, I'm going to use you, my blog, like a boyfriend. I'll talk about all the things that were ever on my mind. Then, I'll have nothing else to talk about. It'll get boring... I'll stop writing as often... and then we'll probably part. You will become a good memory from my past, because I had you to rant to.
Thanks, Internet.
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.
ANYWAY...
What was I going to talk about?...
=/
OH YEAH!!! :D
maybe it's how I consider all guys boys. Does that make sense? Have I already mentioned this? I can't remember.
ANYWAY...
I feel like I have. Sorry, this is dumb. A reoccurring rant. I'm sorry.
Thanks, Internet.
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ANYWAY...
What was I going to talk about?...
=/
OH YEAH!!! :D
maybe it's how I consider all guys boys. Does that make sense? Have I already mentioned this? I can't remember.
ANYWAY...
I feel like I have. Sorry, this is dumb. A reoccurring rant. I'm sorry.
So who reads my blog?
I really only write here to maintain memories for myself, as a diary really.
So I wonder who reads this entries?
Who cares?
It's just on the internet... I'm one girl out of many.
Most girls I know are kind of hipster photographer, so this is really different.
And really boringggggggg for you people! Ahaha.
But not for me...
Because...
I really do like everything I write.
And I mean EVERYTHING.
I think it's because it's only I who knows how to read these words correctly.
In fact, when I read my stuff, the voice in my head has a peculiar accent.
No, not Asian... -_-;;
I've been thinking in English a lot lately
Only because everyone else around me speaks English and I want them to understand
On another note
I was reading some Vietnamese magazines today.
God, they were awful
Completely advertisements!!!!
The articles were pointless
The short stories meaningless, such amateurism
And the poems!!!!!!!!!!
So awful
I write better stuff than that
One day
I will write in a beautiful love poem
Because you know,
I'm quite the romantic. <3
So I wonder who reads this entries?
Who cares?
It's just on the internet... I'm one girl out of many.
Most girls I know are kind of hipster photographer, so this is really different.
And really boringggggggg for you people! Ahaha.
But not for me...
Because...
I really do like everything I write.
And I mean EVERYTHING.
I think it's because it's only I who knows how to read these words correctly.
In fact, when I read my stuff, the voice in my head has a peculiar accent.
No, not Asian... -_-;;
I've been thinking in English a lot lately
Only because everyone else around me speaks English and I want them to understand
On another note
I was reading some Vietnamese magazines today.
God, they were awful
Completely advertisements!!!!
The articles were pointless
The short stories meaningless, such amateurism
And the poems!!!!!!!!!!
So awful
I write better stuff than that
One day
I will write in a beautiful love poem
Because you know,
I'm quite the romantic. <3
When We Meet
The door opens and the wind alerts me,
I look up to meet your eyes.
Your steps are slow,
I hear your thoughts
with each one
Is she worth it?
Can I wait?
Suddenly, my chest feels constricted
and I have no second thoughts
Casually you throw your backpack
where I am at
but soon leave out of anguish
I take a walk to gain
some confidence,
we talked.
It was wonderful.
But it never happened...
*Written on 4.2.11
I wrote this on the same day too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To: _____
Oh, clandestine relationship,
How is this so?
With no means to touch you,
I am filled with woe.
Pensive eyes, tainted lips,
Your questions remain unanswered
Your patience with me is overwhelming
And I am thankful to be heard
Invite me in, for I am shy
but my wishes are quite translucent
Acting callous to be safe
and I received what you, too, set
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I Could Draw You
If I could draw you, I'd take in every detail I could notice. I'd start with your face, which is always brooding. Thin lips, squinted eyes and a tall nose. Then your brown hair which is much too long, but I still like it. Now to your tall, lanky self with a 6' frame. and long guitar fingers which I am jealous of. The nails on your right hand. The rain drops I see. The creases in your denim jacket.
If only I could draw, I'd see you forever.
I look up to meet your eyes.
Your steps are slow,
I hear your thoughts
with each one
Is she worth it?
Can I wait?
Suddenly, my chest feels constricted
and I have no second thoughts
Casually you throw your backpack
where I am at
but soon leave out of anguish
I take a walk to gain
some confidence,
we talked.
It was wonderful.
But it never happened...
*Written on 4.2.11
I wrote this on the same day too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To: _____
Oh, clandestine relationship,
How is this so?
With no means to touch you,
I am filled with woe.
Pensive eyes, tainted lips,
Your questions remain unanswered
Your patience with me is overwhelming
And I am thankful to be heard
Invite me in, for I am shy
but my wishes are quite translucent
Acting callous to be safe
and I received what you, too, set
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I Could Draw You
If I could draw you, I'd take in every detail I could notice. I'd start with your face, which is always brooding. Thin lips, squinted eyes and a tall nose. Then your brown hair which is much too long, but I still like it. Now to your tall, lanky self with a 6' frame. and long guitar fingers which I am jealous of. The nails on your right hand. The rain drops I see. The creases in your denim jacket.
If only I could draw, I'd see you forever.
Gah, I am so in love with the IMPOSSIBLE!!!!
Why?...
I enjoy the CHASE!
The rush of not knowing, fighting against all LOGIC but "LOVE"...
This is not a game,
but I do have a goal:
to imbibe the comforting habits
then quickly cast them away!
Because I can, and because
he will understand.
This is real LOVE!
I enjoy the CHASE!
The rush of not knowing, fighting against all LOGIC but "LOVE"...
This is not a game,
but I do have a goal:
to imbibe the comforting habits
then quickly cast them away!
Because I can, and because
he will understand.
This is real LOVE!
Do you believe in magic?
I will write later.
-------------
Okie, I'm back. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that hot musicians have such an unfair advantage in performances! Well, I guess it's not really unfair, but still. It's really difficult to concentrate on the secret solutions when you're busy staring at some hot guy, which makes tricks seem that much more magical. Just saying.
-----
edit 10 years later.
I meant hot MAGICIANS...
must have had something on my mind the day I wrote this. BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
6.29.11
-------------
Okie, I'm back. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that hot musicians have such an unfair advantage in performances! Well, I guess it's not really unfair, but still. It's really difficult to concentrate on the secret solutions when you're busy staring at some hot guy, which makes tricks seem that much more magical. Just saying.
-----
edit 10 years later.
I meant hot MAGICIANS...
must have had something on my mind the day I wrote this. BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
6.29.11
Am I crazy?
Sometimes conversations with myself are more fulfilling towards peace of mind than anything another person could say to me, except this one guy. He's really good at making me feel better. Ha. But I really consider him to be like me in a lot of ways, although he is EXTREMELY more patient than I. I am thankful for him and how he has listened to all my rants. <3
Anyway, I talk to myself.
Anyway, I talk to myself.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Mmmm... I remember that first night.
I want to rant about something shallow now.
My hair!
Gosh, I love it so darn much. And it grows out so quickly too! ^_^
I can't decide what I want to do with it. Right now it's three different colors: black on top, brown in the middle and blonde at the tips. I like it a lot like this!!!
I think on my birthday I'll have it chopped into three drastic layers and dye it from black gradually becoming BRIGHT RED. I'll also have one really black strip of hair on the left side.
I probably won't do that though. In fact, none of my hair colors were ever planned. In 10th grade my aunt had some extra dye and I made my hair brown. In 11th grade I felt a sudden urge to change my look and bleached the fuck out of my hair after spring break. Ha, it only turned dark orange brown. I bleached it again and then it turned bright orange (I really, really liked this color.)! Bleached it again and made it really light orange. Bleached it again and dyed it light brown and added blonde highlights. Bleached it again and I was BLONDE. Then WHAM!!! All that bleaching for me to dye it dark purple... but I was sad that day. I kind of freaked out the day after. I mean, all that damage to my hair just for me to make it dark again?!!? But the funny thing is, every time I showered, it got lighter. It was a nice red/maroon color. Then it just turned brown.
God... this is getting boring.
But my hair is so fucking healthy and soft now.
That's a weakness of mine... running your fingers through my hair.
I'm always so surprised when a guy touches my hair. Ha. It makes me hold my breath at first and stay COMPLETELY still... taking it all in. I swear I can hear my heart beat during these moments. But that's only happened with two guys I know. Actually, wait. Three. The second guy was just acting really cute and playing around with it at the park during spring break. Just him touching my hair made me crush on him for a slight second and feel confused. The third guy was just some asshole who knew all of my weaknesses and almost fucking had me weak until he made the stupid mistake of being a jerk. Seriously. He was so... close.
But guys and girls
NO MEANS NO.
Like fuck. I actually told him.
Gah.
Never mind.
Whatever.
Let's move on.
And the first guy who touched my hair... comb his fingers through it... sexed it up and tangled it... knew what to do while we were kissing... IT WAS AMAZING!!! : D
So yeah.
That is all. o_o
I've said too much. >_<
My hair!
Gosh, I love it so darn much. And it grows out so quickly too! ^_^
I can't decide what I want to do with it. Right now it's three different colors: black on top, brown in the middle and blonde at the tips. I like it a lot like this!!!
I think on my birthday I'll have it chopped into three drastic layers and dye it from black gradually becoming BRIGHT RED. I'll also have one really black strip of hair on the left side.
I probably won't do that though. In fact, none of my hair colors were ever planned. In 10th grade my aunt had some extra dye and I made my hair brown. In 11th grade I felt a sudden urge to change my look and bleached the fuck out of my hair after spring break. Ha, it only turned dark orange brown. I bleached it again and then it turned bright orange (I really, really liked this color.)! Bleached it again and made it really light orange. Bleached it again and dyed it light brown and added blonde highlights. Bleached it again and I was BLONDE. Then WHAM!!! All that bleaching for me to dye it dark purple... but I was sad that day. I kind of freaked out the day after. I mean, all that damage to my hair just for me to make it dark again?!!? But the funny thing is, every time I showered, it got lighter. It was a nice red/maroon color. Then it just turned brown.
God... this is getting boring.
But my hair is so fucking healthy and soft now.
That's a weakness of mine... running your fingers through my hair.
I'm always so surprised when a guy touches my hair. Ha. It makes me hold my breath at first and stay COMPLETELY still... taking it all in. I swear I can hear my heart beat during these moments. But that's only happened with two guys I know. Actually, wait. Three. The second guy was just acting really cute and playing around with it at the park during spring break. Just him touching my hair made me crush on him for a slight second and feel confused. The third guy was just some asshole who knew all of my weaknesses and almost fucking had me weak until he made the stupid mistake of being a jerk. Seriously. He was so... close.
But guys and girls
NO MEANS NO.
Like fuck. I actually told him.
Gah.
Never mind.
Whatever.
Let's move on.
And the first guy who touched my hair... comb his fingers through it... sexed it up and tangled it... knew what to do while we were kissing... IT WAS AMAZING!!! : D
So yeah.
That is all. o_o
I've said too much. >_<
A German Shepherd?... Named Felony? :(
He bought a German shepherd... and a house. He's saving money. He's doing everything I wanted to when we were together. Why now? Is he trying to win me back? I don't understand. Is he becoming more independent now that I'm gone?
I don't think so.
Why do I feel like it's his mom doing everything? Argh, it was his mom... Ha. He's so old now! But she is a tiger.
I don't want to be with someone who feels like they have to decide between me and their own mother. God, what an awful decision. I'd rather get along with everyone.
She honestly didn't like me because I was spending all of his money, supposedly... but doesn't she realize that I have money? Does she not know that during the first two years I paid for EVERYTHING?... I spoiled that boy so much. $110 gold ring? You've got it. $250 iphone? Sure thing, Bear. $300 bullet mirrors. Never forget me when you drive! $450 gun? Happy birthday! $650 RC truck? Okie, I love you. And that's only a small fraction of the items I've purchased for him. Goodness, she doesn't even realize. For Christ's sakes, I was a 13 year old kid making that much money! Ha.
But he's given me a lot. The experience was all worth it. I'm just confused now.
On to a related rant!
Seriously, I was a kid making money. I used to save my lunch money in 8th grade. $10 a week. After I realized that it took three months to make $100 I figured that I had to find a way to make money. I mean, after all that saving and being flat broke after buying a ring feels pretty bad. He better love that ring forever!!! I hope he remembers me. I bought it at Kmart. I really liked another ring, but #1 Dad was engraved on the back so I chose the one I bought instead.
Making money is easy in high school. Kids are soooooo lazy.
Making money was even easier once I could drive. First-time Craigslist users are such pushovers! And people who need money. This is only two years ago, but I remember constantly researching iphones and androids. Ha. I had to keep up with new software updates, jailbreaking, new cell phone releases. It was pretty crazy, but I needed to know it all to make sure I could profit and sell quickly. I had to give it up after the iphone 4 was released though. Prices became too difficult to predict and I was getting tired anyway.
You know how quiet and shy I am? I don't know why, but I'll do fine with a stranger on the phone or in person. It's much too easy bargaining in e-mails or text.
Also... I was just a little Asian girl. How could someone possibly break my heart?? Bwahaha.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Touch my skin. Preferable my stomach or lower back.
How lazy I am. Let me tell you a secret. Next week I'm going to look and feel my best. My skin is going to be so soft, too bad there will be no one to touch it. Once every two or three months I just feel incredibly amazing, and that will be next week. Maybe my estrogen levels will be soaring. I wish I could find someone with an abundance of testosterone and pheromones and... God. Chemicals are so good. Nature's method of high without doing anything to your body except being with someone. It's a secret I know, I know, I know... There should be a warning for this.
WARNING: If you are male and hang out with me next week, you will feel incredibly amazing!!!
Hah. How dumb that sounds.
It's like I'm a source of sunlight and energy! Be around me and I'm sure you'll feel good, or at least smile when I'm around. <3
I haven't had the chance to take someone to the park yet and actually swing. Maybe I will next week. And lie in the grass.
My hair is so soft. I wish you could run your fingers through it!
I remember when I used to go fishing at the Econlockhatchee River at Blanchard park. I used to catch catfish with fishing wire, chicken on a hook and a hanger. It was really ghetto and difficult to reel them in, but they were usually impromptu trips.
Abrupt ending of memories.
WARNING: If you are male and hang out with me next week, you will feel incredibly amazing!!!
Hah. How dumb that sounds.
It's like I'm a source of sunlight and energy! Be around me and I'm sure you'll feel good, or at least smile when I'm around. <3
I haven't had the chance to take someone to the park yet and actually swing. Maybe I will next week. And lie in the grass.
My hair is so soft. I wish you could run your fingers through it!
I remember when I used to go fishing at the Econlockhatchee River at Blanchard park. I used to catch catfish with fishing wire, chicken on a hook and a hanger. It was really ghetto and difficult to reel them in, but they were usually impromptu trips.
Abrupt ending of memories.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
I can be
He was so calm... maybe it seemed like he was a robot. He told me he was when we first met, that he was incapable of feelings or emotions. I had to program that into him. Show him the world, remind him what true love is like. I'm sorry.
He was so angry! Ha. At every mistake he would blame himself, though I'm not sure if he ever allowed himself to learn. Funny how he's older, yet acted so immature. Then again, it just may be because I don't know much either.
So sad... What shall I do? I'd never thought he'd smile. One day, the possibilities! But for now, I'm kind of tired. Never met with so many emotions. I was never like this. Well, I was. But how did I get out of it? Oh yeah, he was calm.
My god. He's perfect! I mean, I could deal with calm. I don't mind anger. But I deserve satisfaction... and this is him. Or her. Or maybe just myself. I can be alone.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
SUPERRRR long story about my day two days ago. :)
Okie dokes. It's time for me to tell you what happened two days ago. I can't really recollect much, but I'll try my best!!!
So I had to drive all the way down to Melbourne to fix the trunk of my Corvette and get my first oil change. My baby, Eros, had finally reached 5,000 miles. I asked on Facebook and Twitter if anyone wanted to join me, but no one answered and off I went alone to fix my car. After that was done I was getting kind of bored and lonely, so I decided to head off to the beach alone. Recently I have just been going out without telling my parents while I become a distant loner... It seems as if I'm separating myself from the world a little bit more and more each day. I'll try to fix that later. Anyway, at the beach I changed into the bathing suit I always carry in my backpack. I also brought along a towel to the beach and wore my sunglasses. To be honest... I always carry along a towel and an extra set of clothing just in case of the rare possibility of me having to go through a walk of shame after a one night stand. At least I'll have a pair of clothes to change into! Haha. I started this habit last year when I was working out and kept clothes to shower into, but then I stopped working out and had this one experience of accidentally sleeping over a guy's house (even though we didn't do anything). Thank God I had some clothes to change into because my parents were already freaking out enough as it were. So anyway, back to my beach story!
I had to park at a parking meter and had enough change for 2 whole hours. After I pushed the coins in, I started walking towards the sand and water with towel and book in hand (I ALWAYS have a book in my car). There were some guys playing catch with a football and they all stopped to stare when I started walking down the wooden steps (not that I'm gorgeous or anything. It's just a natural reflex for people to stop and look towards something or someone coming up.). Not having anything to do really, I asked if I could play too. They let me and we shared cursory introductions before throwing the ball around. It was fun for a bit and we were all laughing, but then I kind of suddenly felt tired of making weak attempts throwing a football. I couldn't even throw a spiral! They were all just being nice to me. >.<
I left to lay out in the sun/read my book and the guys then pretended to act really disappointed that I was going. It was slightly awkward the rest of the time I was at the beach because we remained next to each other although we didn't talk again.
I left to lay out in the sun/read my book and the guys then pretended to act really disappointed that I was going. It was slightly awkward the rest of the time I was at the beach because we remained next to each other although we didn't talk again.
At first I tried reading, but it was so hot and sunny! I mean, I was just lying facedown on my towel trying to read through this corny teenage romance novel in the blazing hot sun and dry air. I did manage to go through a good 20 pages or so though before giving up. Then I tried walking around near the water. I didn't really want to go into the ocean and swim because that would mean I'd have to rinse off and dry off before driving back home into my Corvette. After I quickly became bored again, I decided to just nap for the rest of the hour and fifteen-ish minutes I had left in the meter. During that entire time of “napping”, I was really just in that phase of "half-asleep and half-awake, but still aware of my surrounding even though my eyes are closed"... you know? When it was time to go back into the car, I was EXHAUSTED. Ha. I guess it was because I really wasn't napping. I was also super sweaty and felt gross. Blech. I couldn't wipe the sand off of me or anything either!
Oh yeah. Laying out that long also made me BURNT BROWN. Like, I look Filipino now!!! I'M SO BROWN. My family is really mad because they only think I'm pretty with fair skin like I did in winter. >.<
But I digress. Back to my story!!! As I walked up the wooden steps again to my car I waved goodbye to the boys and suddenly had a realization. I was in Melbourne! Last time I was here I made two new friends and still have their numbers. I decided to text beach bum Kevin to see if he was free today. Ha, of course he was free. I then drove down to where he and Jay were. They're two homeless guys I met who bummed liquor off of my friends last time we visited. Kevin is 32 and Jay is 40. They were flirting with me when we met because I was buried under the sand as a mermaid and needed someone to take my picture, so Kevin took this opportunity to take a pic of me and get my phone number so he could send an MMS. I never told them how old I was, I just let them assume I was around 21 because of the liquor.
I met Kevin and Jay in front of a real estate building and parked my car there. We decided to walk around and go to Jay's parents' house because they were away and are basically never in that home. Please don't judge me. I know what I did was super risky and my family would kill me if they ever found out, but I don't know. I could just tell they were really sincere people I could trust. Anyway, we were at Jay's parents' house and met up with a few other homeless people. None of them had food, but they all brought their own alcohol. Kevin mixed me up a “suicide drink”, which was basically everything they had plus some tea. It didn't taste bad or burn at all, so I was fine. All we basically did was just hang out and chill. This seems to be the crowd of people I hang out with these days. People who can sit around with their friends and be happy. I love this feeling sooooo much!!!
I felt as if Jay and Kevin were fighting for my attention the whole time, but Jay asked to talk with me alone so I did. He's such a character! He actually chose to be homeless and bum around the beach. He tells me he has about $90,000 in the bank from selling his home and has decided to just hang out with friends for the rest of his life since he's getting old anyway. I love him and he's really funny. Plus, at the time he was also starting to get drunk so I loved his personality even better! Anyway, we walked out for a little bit and he seemed to get really serious all of a sudden. He started telling me about his experiences with Asian people and how much he respects us. He asked about my parents and I told him how they were born in Viet Nam, but escaped to the U.S. before meeting each other in Orlando and marrying. He asked if I was born here and I replied “Yes”. He then started telling me how amazed he is by stories like my family's because even after all they've been through I was raised so well and am doing great in life now. He said that such greatness makes me royalty and that I am a queen. “I bet you're your daddy's princess, aren't you?” “Yeah! Ha, it's in my name. Hanh-Nhi.” “Well, you're a real queen, you know that, Nhi? Now don't you let nobody treat you no less than that. Don't you ever let a man take you for granted. Make sure you save yourself for the right guy because I could tell from the first day I met you what a great person you are inside. It's been years since I've ever seen such a well-defined and kind heart like yours, and I'm not just saying that to get in your pants.” Suddenly, I felt very awkward and flattered at the same time. I took his compliment to heart, I'm glad he thinks I'm a nice person. During this entire deep conversation Jay was holding onto my hands and had taken off his sunglasses to look into my eyes. He was pretty good at being sincere.
Kevin finally walked outside to see what was going on and decided to drag us all back in with the group. Then Jay raised a glass of alcohol and cheered for me. “Here's to the nicest woman I've met in years! This girl was willing to be kind to us AND use her time to hang out even though we're just a bunch of homeless beach bums!” Ha, I kind of felt special having all those people cheer on and agree with him. Sure, there were only about 10-12 people there, but they all liked me! Afterwards I started to mingle with everyone else there and we had fun, sort of like a mini party. I had a tiny buzz going on earlier, so I waited for it to go away since I normally don't drink in public. I finally left right before the sun set.
Kevin and Jay walked me to my car, and as we said our goodbyes Jay asked for a hug. Of course I agreed and then he gave me the biggest and longest hug everrrrrrrr!!!!!!! During the whole time he was ranting on about how fantastic hugs are, how happy I have made him, how I'm the most comfortable person he's ever held onto and etc until Kevin finally saved me by asking for a hug himself. I felt kind of sad saying goodbye to them, they're such nice people. I really love my life.
Kevin and Jay walked me to my car, and as we said our goodbyes Jay asked for a hug. Of course I agreed and then he gave me the biggest and longest hug everrrrrrrr!!!!!!! During the whole time he was ranting on about how fantastic hugs are, how happy I have made him, how I'm the most comfortable person he's ever held onto and etc until Kevin finally saved me by asking for a hug himself. I felt kind of sad saying goodbye to them, they're such nice people. I really love my life.
Things got kind of boring after I left Melbourne that day though. After that all I had to do was pick up my aunt from Universal, drop her off and then I decided to stay over my cousins house. Yeap yeap. That is all. <3
"To do" list
You know, I've always wanted to cuddle with someone during stormy weather. I'm only thinking that now because I just ran into my house during this tornado weather and I'm soaking wet. I'm going to wait a little bit before I change because I kind of like this feeling of being cold and wet while inside a nice warm room. Ha. But anyway, that's on my “To do” list. Cuddle with someone during stormy weather. I'd also like to have hot cocoa with someone in front of a fireplace during the cold. Yes, I know I'm a cliché romantic, but whatever! I also need my first mistletoe kiss! This Christmas I'll be 18, so that seems about right. I've already had a New Year's kiss, but I can't really remember when. Hm... So yeah, these are some random thoughts for now. I'm a hopeless romantic. <3
Friday, June 17, 2011
Random thought
I love it when a good looking white guy has a heart melting chinky smile. A natural one of course. I can't help but go "Awwwwww.... so... Asian!!!" Bwahaha.
Actually, I just really like chinky smiles in general. Bwahaha. I was just thinking of this because I remembered this one Viet guy who had the best smile. I couldn't even see his eyes when he smiled! *dreamy sigh*... Lol, yes. I know I'm a teenage girl!!!! =p
=]
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Actually, I just really like chinky smiles in general. Bwahaha. I was just thinking of this because I remembered this one Viet guy who had the best smile. I couldn't even see his eyes when he smiled! *dreamy sigh*... Lol, yes. I know I'm a teenage girl!!!! =p
=]
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Mike Sanders! Who knew such a rednecky guy and a really Asian girl could be great friends? ^_^
I'm going to blog later about yesterday, but I'm just going to tell y'all about right now.
Here I am with Mikey. He wasn't really a good friend at first or anything, but after today I like him a lot. I love it when I hang out with people I don't know well and then it turns out good. So this is what happened. I met Mike at UCF one day and we had small talk or whatever and exchanged numbers and Twitter accounts. We never really talked and don't know each other at all really, but he saw that I wanted to go fishing alone today. I also tweeted that I couldn't find my rods so then he offered his if I would go with him. Ha. Isn't that great and convenient? (I think he likes Asian girls though and that's why, but don't tell him that. Haha. I'm just glad I could become friends with him.) All I had to do was pick up his truck for him at R&O which is basically down the street from where I live.
I thought, “Cool, why not?” He then called the place where his truck was at so I could pick up the key to drive it to his place a ways down east in cow country, and off I went walking for about a mile or so with my backpack which included my laptop, swimsuit, cellphone charger and wallet as always. It's funny because I told him “Wow, Mike. You really trust me enough to drive your truck down to where you're at?” and he replied, “Yeah. You're the only girl I know who has a manual car and feels like fishin'.” I then realized he thought my 'vette was a manual and asked him,”Oh. Does your truck have a stick shift?” Surprise, surprise. Of course it does. Ha. Well, I didn't tell him I was out of practice. The last time I drove a stick shift was last summer when Tommy was too lazy to drive to Tampa and back. That's also the time period he let me keep the 240z to drive wherever I want and practice so I could buy a manual car myself. Anyway, it wasn't that hard. Mike has a nice truck, kind of old though.
I didn't tell my parents where I was going until just a few hours ago, so they're really pissed at me. I'm such a bad daughter... At Mikey's house we loaded up the truck with fishing and crabbing stuff, and I'm so glad he has lots of it! So off to Cocoa we went! It was so unplanned and nice... I just love doing stuff without thinking sometimes. I hope I get to do more stuff like this when I turn 18. Stuff as in just go off somewhere freely. At first we just went fishing under a bridge for bit and I took a nap (I'm so tired and lazy!). We didn't really catch much though. *sigh* I caught like 20 million puffer fish, but we don't want to keep those. There were dolphins playing around us and it was great! I really love the beach and sand. After a while I got really hot and really tired so we dropped by one of his random friend's house. Don't you just love friendly people who'll just allow you into their home? Ugh. It was awesome. Stu's house was cozy and I didn't talk much. There were so friendly. I love my friends. So Mike and I basically stayed there for a bit to cool off and eat or whatever. We watched TV, I played Final Fantasy 7 for a bit and then surfed the net.
Once it was dark my parents started freaking out and I told them that I wouldn't be home because I was going crabbing. My dad's angry, but I think he's given up on me... Kind of sad, but I like doing what I like to do. :( My mom's fine as long as I bring home lots of crabs. It's raining now so Mike and I haven't gone back to the bridge, yet. We're thinking about going at around 2 or 3, but we'll probably go back to Stu's house or I should really go home. Right now, I'm stealing wifi at a McDonald's because I told Mike to park here... Oh, darn you, rain!!! You're ruining my experience! Jk, I still love the beach and water. It's nice out here no matter how gross it looks outside. Mike is such a nice guy and I'm glad I could be friends with him and just hang out like this. So... chill. He gives me hope that I can find more guys like him. Ha. I mean, the group I hang out with Austin's were the first and only people I have met like this and now I'm just happy people in the world like this are real... you know? They exist!!! Or maybe I'm just oddly weird and sheltered or unexperienced. >.<
I thought, “Cool, why not?” He then called the place where his truck was at so I could pick up the key to drive it to his place a ways down east in cow country, and off I went walking for about a mile or so with my backpack which included my laptop, swimsuit, cellphone charger and wallet as always. It's funny because I told him “Wow, Mike. You really trust me enough to drive your truck down to where you're at?” and he replied, “Yeah. You're the only girl I know who has a manual car and feels like fishin'.” I then realized he thought my 'vette was a manual and asked him,”Oh. Does your truck have a stick shift?” Surprise, surprise. Of course it does. Ha. Well, I didn't tell him I was out of practice. The last time I drove a stick shift was last summer when Tommy was too lazy to drive to Tampa and back. That's also the time period he let me keep the 240z to drive wherever I want and practice so I could buy a manual car myself. Anyway, it wasn't that hard. Mike has a nice truck, kind of old though.
I didn't tell my parents where I was going until just a few hours ago, so they're really pissed at me. I'm such a bad daughter... At Mikey's house we loaded up the truck with fishing and crabbing stuff, and I'm so glad he has lots of it! So off to Cocoa we went! It was so unplanned and nice... I just love doing stuff without thinking sometimes. I hope I get to do more stuff like this when I turn 18. Stuff as in just go off somewhere freely. At first we just went fishing under a bridge for bit and I took a nap (I'm so tired and lazy!). We didn't really catch much though. *sigh* I caught like 20 million puffer fish, but we don't want to keep those. There were dolphins playing around us and it was great! I really love the beach and sand. After a while I got really hot and really tired so we dropped by one of his random friend's house. Don't you just love friendly people who'll just allow you into their home? Ugh. It was awesome. Stu's house was cozy and I didn't talk much. There were so friendly. I love my friends. So Mike and I basically stayed there for a bit to cool off and eat or whatever. We watched TV, I played Final Fantasy 7 for a bit and then surfed the net.
Once it was dark my parents started freaking out and I told them that I wouldn't be home because I was going crabbing. My dad's angry, but I think he's given up on me... Kind of sad, but I like doing what I like to do. :( My mom's fine as long as I bring home lots of crabs. It's raining now so Mike and I haven't gone back to the bridge, yet. We're thinking about going at around 2 or 3, but we'll probably go back to Stu's house or I should really go home. Right now, I'm stealing wifi at a McDonald's because I told Mike to park here... Oh, darn you, rain!!! You're ruining my experience! Jk, I still love the beach and water. It's nice out here no matter how gross it looks outside. Mike is such a nice guy and I'm glad I could be friends with him and just hang out like this. So... chill. He gives me hope that I can find more guys like him. Ha. I mean, the group I hang out with Austin's were the first and only people I have met like this and now I'm just happy people in the world like this are real... you know? They exist!!! Or maybe I'm just oddly weird and sheltered or unexperienced. >.<
Ugh...
Tommy Phan... is the best ex in the world. Thank God I met him and had him when I did. He makes me wonder whether or not I could ever meet a nicer man. If I ever made a "If we're still single and 30, we should marry" agreement, it would be with him. Ha. And that is why I love him. Like a friend. ^_^
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Huh
For the first time in a long time... I need a man.
I never allow myself to admit this, but I do like the feeling of cuddling with someone or holding hands. But I'm so picky. I mean, I could probably pick up the phone and call any guy I like right now, but I'm not. Why is that? If I miss the feeling with being with someone, what's stopping me from finding that person? I'm just not up to it, no matter how easy. *sigh*
There's something wrong with my head.
And then after I think all of that, I immediately tell myself that I don't need anyone and my life is quite perfect the way it is. I can't help but smile at what I've got. o_o
I can tell you this. I've learned my lesson to appreciate 85% like it's 100.
I never allow myself to admit this, but I do like the feeling of cuddling with someone or holding hands. But I'm so picky. I mean, I could probably pick up the phone and call any guy I like right now, but I'm not. Why is that? If I miss the feeling with being with someone, what's stopping me from finding that person? I'm just not up to it, no matter how easy. *sigh*
There's something wrong with my head.
And then after I think all of that, I immediately tell myself that I don't need anyone and my life is quite perfect the way it is. I can't help but smile at what I've got. o_o
I can tell you this. I've learned my lesson to appreciate 85% like it's 100.
I wonder... what am I?
Well, I know I'm a girl. Sometimes I do feel more like a guy though than a girl, but I'm guessing it's all because of society and gender roles!!!
For instance, I love to buy stuff for the person I like. Ha, I spoil them all so much... Usually though, it's more like I earn and save a lot of money and then just blow it all. I don't really have anything else I want, and buying people stuff is such an easy way to make them smile. When I was with Tommy, I spoiled him to heck! I also can't help but buy stuff for all of my little cousins or just toss money at my sis when I'm feeling nice. Yeap yeap. Money doesn't mean much to me, except when I'm poor.
I always ask guys I like out. Then again, it's probably because I'm naturally drawn to nerds or guys who are too shy to ask me out or whatever. My family really, really hates that I do this. They always try to teach me all of the techniques for manipulating a guy or playing mind games for him to fall for me and ask me out first, but I JUST HATE THAT STUFF!!! Goodness, it's too much work. I'm not sure how noticeable this is, but I'm pretty straightforward with my feelings on anything, unless I'm indifferent to it. Go ahead, ask me how I feel about you.
I'm so patient. Sometimes I feel like an old person. I just feel like I have all the time in the world for anything though because my life is perfect. I also believe that patience is the answer to almost everything. In the end, time will solve your problems! Sure, it may not be a good solution 100% of the time, but at least you don't have to think about whatever was wrong or worrisome anymore. I just feel as if most girls are very impatient due to the ones I know.
I'm just going to brag now. I don't wear makeup (except for eyeliner)... =]
I want to talk about something else now.
Yesterday my mom and dad were arguing about what to put on the business sign in front of the clinic. You know, one of those big light-up signs that usually has the name of the business and what not and is by the side of the road so drivers can see. Well, my mom wanted to put "Thang Pham M.D., Primary Care Physician" and my dad wanted "Thang Pham M.D., Board-Certified Physician". They were trying to decide which title would bring in more patients and I'm sitting there wondering why they're discussing this when the sign has two sides... So I tell them kind of casually "Both sides don't have to have the same thing. Put 'Board-Certified' on the east end because drivers coming from that way will care and 'Primary Care' on the west side." My parents just looked at me for a second and then my mom suddenly said, "Good idea!!!" She ran up to hug my head and kiss me while I was still eating my bowl of rice with chicken hearts. She looked up at my dad and told him, "You see? Our daughter is so smart. She's a genius and thinks out of the box. We shouldn't underestimate her so much. She's here for a reason!" Of course I acted very casually on the outside, but inside I was ecstatic... I love compliments, especially from my mom. Ha, they mean very much to me.
For instance, I love to buy stuff for the person I like. Ha, I spoil them all so much... Usually though, it's more like I earn and save a lot of money and then just blow it all. I don't really have anything else I want, and buying people stuff is such an easy way to make them smile. When I was with Tommy, I spoiled him to heck! I also can't help but buy stuff for all of my little cousins or just toss money at my sis when I'm feeling nice. Yeap yeap. Money doesn't mean much to me, except when I'm poor.
I always ask guys I like out. Then again, it's probably because I'm naturally drawn to nerds or guys who are too shy to ask me out or whatever. My family really, really hates that I do this. They always try to teach me all of the techniques for manipulating a guy or playing mind games for him to fall for me and ask me out first, but I JUST HATE THAT STUFF!!! Goodness, it's too much work. I'm not sure how noticeable this is, but I'm pretty straightforward with my feelings on anything, unless I'm indifferent to it. Go ahead, ask me how I feel about you.
I'm so patient. Sometimes I feel like an old person. I just feel like I have all the time in the world for anything though because my life is perfect. I also believe that patience is the answer to almost everything. In the end, time will solve your problems! Sure, it may not be a good solution 100% of the time, but at least you don't have to think about whatever was wrong or worrisome anymore. I just feel as if most girls are very impatient due to the ones I know.
I'm just going to brag now. I don't wear makeup (except for eyeliner)... =]
I want to talk about something else now.
Yesterday my mom and dad were arguing about what to put on the business sign in front of the clinic. You know, one of those big light-up signs that usually has the name of the business and what not and is by the side of the road so drivers can see. Well, my mom wanted to put "Thang Pham M.D., Primary Care Physician" and my dad wanted "Thang Pham M.D., Board-Certified Physician". They were trying to decide which title would bring in more patients and I'm sitting there wondering why they're discussing this when the sign has two sides... So I tell them kind of casually "Both sides don't have to have the same thing. Put 'Board-Certified' on the east end because drivers coming from that way will care and 'Primary Care' on the west side." My parents just looked at me for a second and then my mom suddenly said, "Good idea!!!" She ran up to hug my head and kiss me while I was still eating my bowl of rice with chicken hearts. She looked up at my dad and told him, "You see? Our daughter is so smart. She's a genius and thinks out of the box. We shouldn't underestimate her so much. She's here for a reason!" Of course I acted very casually on the outside, but inside I was ecstatic... I love compliments, especially from my mom. Ha, they mean very much to me.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I'm sorry
for being such a self-righteous jerk... I hold myself up very high. I do really love myself as a person. And if you haven't noticed, I do see vanity, pride, egotism and etc as virtues. If you can't even love yourself, who will?
Oh yeah, one more thing
If you know me and I know you... stop being so vain! Bwahahaha. =p
But seriously, you're not the only person I know, so NEVER assume I am writing about you AT ALL. No matter how obvious it seems or anything. Please. Because we'll all just have misunderstandings and miscommunications, which never leads to good things (and I only say this because several guys have messaged me and I was like "whaaaa??"). This blog really is more of a personal diary which happens to be public, so in reality I am the ONLY person who knows what's going on exactly. Feel free to ask though, my love. <3
Mwah, mwah, mwah!!!! :D
But seriously, you're not the only person I know, so NEVER assume I am writing about you AT ALL. No matter how obvious it seems or anything. Please. Because we'll all just have misunderstandings and miscommunications, which never leads to good things (and I only say this because several guys have messaged me and I was like "whaaaa??"). This blog really is more of a personal diary which happens to be public, so in reality I am the ONLY person who knows what's going on exactly. Feel free to ask though, my love. <3
Mwah, mwah, mwah!!!! :D
...
Is it just me, or have a lot of people been whining and complaining about their lives recently?...
It's really bothering me that everyone I know is acting like a baby.
Maybe I'm just a jerk.
Maybe I need to find new people.
But seriously, why am I allowed to stay happy and move on so easily?
LIFE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. I wish everyone could find something to do, embrace it. Everyone has control of their lives and emotions. Please stop making excuses. Also, there's more than one way to be happy, more than one set of ideal conditions. Er, what I mean is so what if you're not at the place you want to be at now? So what if you don' have this or that or are with him or her. Just make do with what you've got.
Please... stop... whining to me. I swear I'll tell you the same thing over and over again. I use the same simple fucking steps every day to smile. I love who I am. You should too. There's always the future to change yourself, don't worry. Take your time.
Argh. Maybe I'm just going crazy (then again, if a crazy person goes crazy... does that turn them sane?!).
I need a break from negative people. o_o;;
It's really bothering me that everyone I know is acting like a baby.
Maybe I'm just a jerk.
Maybe I need to find new people.
But seriously, why am I allowed to stay happy and move on so easily?
LIFE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. I wish everyone could find something to do, embrace it. Everyone has control of their lives and emotions. Please stop making excuses. Also, there's more than one way to be happy, more than one set of ideal conditions. Er, what I mean is so what if you're not at the place you want to be at now? So what if you don' have this or that or are with him or her. Just make do with what you've got.
Please... stop... whining to me. I swear I'll tell you the same thing over and over again. I use the same simple fucking steps every day to smile. I love who I am. You should too. There's always the future to change yourself, don't worry. Take your time.
Argh. Maybe I'm just going crazy (then again, if a crazy person goes crazy... does that turn them sane?!).
I need a break from negative people. o_o;;
SHPLEHHHHHH
I could just run away forever, or fly away to a forbidden place. Maybe where the garden groves grow, I'll walk a peaceful pace. I can't think anymore, my mind's all a-cluttered. If only I could hear his words, I wish he hadn't muttered. Why do I want so much, I'm such a bitchy girl. I'm guessing everyone needs a chance, I'm guess I'll just give it a twirl. I'm walking down the street, hoping to find a park. I'm hoping to swing on swings, and then to leave my mark. Nhi's so weird, what is she going to do? Let's all hope she doesn't fall in love with you. My mind's a-jumbled, this is all a mess. One day I will escape, to you I must confess. I love the nature, I love the breeze. I love the woods, I love the seas. Maybe I should scream... and demand for what's not right. Maybe I should cry and lose hope throughout the night. Does anyone else get that feeling like they should vomit out their heart? What the fuck am I doing, why am I falling apart?! Rhyming words are so easy, so ugly they just flow. And of course my answer all the time, is always "I don't know". Does this make sense, do you understand? This is how my brain works. I'm not sure if you could still like me with all these awful quirks. I'm really just typing away and spewing at the clinic. One of my pet peeves is when someone acts the mimic. I just want to slap his face and get that relief from closure. The only word that rhymes would have to be exposure. Anyway, come with me to Europe. We should have hotcakes and maple syrup. I miss being young, like a kid at 13. I didn't know how lucky I was. I wish I would have been. Did I tell you that I was taking a pause on life, that I have slowly given up? Don't worry though, I'll fight again. I just needed to relax... Yup. I'm not thinking. Why are you reading this? You must want to get to know me well. Well, I guess that's great, but I should warn you though... I'll probably drag you down to hell. Just kidding. Only for a few years.
**If you don't know, "he" is a guy from Louisiana... and deserves MUCH MORE than a slap to the face. That is all.
**If you don't know, "he" is a guy from Louisiana... and deserves MUCH MORE than a slap to the face. That is all.
People ask me how old I am all the time
I don't really like this question... it seems like we're all disappointed for a bit when I answer "17". And then two months really do seem like forever. However, I love being young. <3
I don't really like the reasons why boys, sometimes girls, ask how old I am. I mean, I don't really think age matters that much in relationships. But sometimes they ask just so they can know whether or not we could legally have sex. That kind of makes me feel weird. I don't know. :/
You don't know how often I get conversations like this:
J- Hey. Watcha up to?
Me- Being a nerd on my laptop. xD
J- Lol. How long til ur 18?
Me- In two more months or so.
J- Then u get to find a way to lose ur virginity
Me- Ha. I think I'll just go with the flow.
J- Lol. Well considering id do it you could jus call me
Me- Right...
J- Well i do like you
Or in person
B is driving me while we're on a date and we have been talking casually and getting to know each other.
B-So how old are you again?
Me- 17
B- Wow, and you're a sophomore at UCF?? You must be really smart. Well, that's okie. It's legal for you to give sexual consent to someone up to age 24.
Me- *no comment. I already know this because I went out with Tommy, but why is this guy telling me this? :(*
B- So when do you turn 18?
Me- In about two months or so.
B- Cool. I can wait two months for sex. Or whenever you're ready. Are you still a virgin?
Me- *WTF. THIS IS THE FIRST DATE. My judgement on guys when I first meet them is so terrible. I really did like him at first. -_-;;* Er, yeah. I still am.
And then the conversation kind of really went downhill for me from there. *sigh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I really do just want to go with the flow, or at least wait for someone I really care about. Argh. I'm such a girly girl. Am I being too prude? I hope I don't become a 40 year old virgin/crazy cat lady. But to be honest, I'm kind of really proud that I was able to wait for so long considering the amounts of times I've come THISSSSSSSSSSS close to just giving in. I mean, at first it was because I was REALLY Catholic, but now I just don't know. At 17, you're really confused about everything.
I don't really like the reasons why boys, sometimes girls, ask how old I am. I mean, I don't really think age matters that much in relationships. But sometimes they ask just so they can know whether or not we could legally have sex. That kind of makes me feel weird. I don't know. :/
You don't know how often I get conversations like this:
J- Hey. Watcha up to?
Me- Being a nerd on my laptop. xD
J- Lol. How long til ur 18?
Me- In two more months or so.
J- Then u get to find a way to lose ur virginity
Me- Ha. I think I'll just go with the flow.
J- Lol. Well considering id do it you could jus call me
Me- Right...
J- Well i do like you
Or in person
B is driving me while we're on a date and we have been talking casually and getting to know each other.
B-So how old are you again?
Me- 17
B- Wow, and you're a sophomore at UCF?? You must be really smart. Well, that's okie. It's legal for you to give sexual consent to someone up to age 24.
Me- *no comment. I already know this because I went out with Tommy, but why is this guy telling me this? :(*
B- So when do you turn 18?
Me- In about two months or so.
B- Cool. I can wait two months for sex. Or whenever you're ready. Are you still a virgin?
Me- *WTF. THIS IS THE FIRST DATE. My judgement on guys when I first meet them is so terrible. I really did like him at first. -_-;;* Er, yeah. I still am.
And then the conversation kind of really went downhill for me from there. *sigh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I really do just want to go with the flow, or at least wait for someone I really care about. Argh. I'm such a girly girl. Am I being too prude? I hope I don't become a 40 year old virgin/crazy cat lady. But to be honest, I'm kind of really proud that I was able to wait for so long considering the amounts of times I've come THISSSSSSSSSSS close to just giving in. I mean, at first it was because I was REALLY Catholic, but now I just don't know. At 17, you're really confused about everything.
My whole family smokes, gambles and drinks
It's not surprising that I probably will too. I'll try not to smoke, can't say no to alcohol and poker though. Also, I love Tom Dwan.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
By the way................ I love you.
No matter how much I deny it or how much I lie to myself, I'm just going to say it now. *takes a deep breath and.............. sigh* I love you. I've known it for a while actually, but I just couldn't allow myself to believe it, mostly by finding ridiculous logical excuses. For instance, I'm much too young to know what love is. In fact, I'm pretty sure no one knows. Also, I'm very inexperienced. Psh-shaw. Love? Don't make me laugh. You're just being stupid. Don't you know that love is PURELY chemical? Also, it's just the memories made that make you happy, not the actual people themselves. And remember those TED talks? Love consists of over-exaggerations of a person's qualities, which make them appear unique to you when they're not really special. Numbers don't lie, there are over 7 billion people on earth so how can one believe that one person is different........
Argh. I should have just left it at "I love you".
But I'd like you to know something else too... I'm not being harsh or anything, just honest. Although I would be sad if you ran away, you and I both know we'll both be fine. Isn't that nice, yet sad to know?...
(:^ | )
Argh. I should have just left it at "I love you".
But I'd like you to know something else too... I'm not being harsh or anything, just honest. Although I would be sad if you ran away, you and I both know we'll both be fine. Isn't that nice, yet sad to know?...
(:^ | )
And this is why I love Austin's...
Hello, friend. I guess that's what I'm starting to consider my blog now since I have no one to talk to. I'm just going to tell you about my day. Yeah, I guess it seems like I'm that lonely, but it's more like I don't want to have a one-sided conversation instead. I'm that vain!!! So yeah, this blog allows me to just talk about myself... And you're reading it!!! MUAHAHAHAHA. =p
So anyway, I went back to Austin's today and it seemed like YEARS!!!! (Actually, I was just there last week or so, BUT STILL) Sean was asking where I've been so I replied at work and at home. Then, he asked if I was in trouble so I wondered "How did you know?" He said "Good" and apparently all girls my age should always be in trouble and stay at home. Ha. xD Anyway, I met up with my friends Javier and Adeline and Joe was there. I never really talked to him before except for a party at Nathalie's house, but it was really weird because he was SOOOOOOOOOO shy. I totally remember him as being SUPER outgoing at the party!!! So you know how I'm always the quiet one in person? Well, Joe was approximately six times quieter than me. Ahaha, how weird is that? It was different being the more talkative person. Justine then came along soon and Javier had to go to class so we decided to go to Nathalie's house. Justine drove Adeline and I drove Joe because he wanted a ride in my “sweet car”. It was kind of awkward though, I had Madonna blasting when I started the engine and I felt like I had to warn him ahead of time that I'm a bad driver because I'm the typical teenage Asian female........ He was so quiet though, we didn't talk the entire drive, but it's not like it's that far or anything so I survived. Once we arrived Nathalie did as well and it was perfect. Everyone just chilled and hung around for an hour or so, exactly what I needed, some lazy time! I loved it. I missed them. I like to consider them my friends. That place just makes me happy in general I guess. Secretly, I kind of hope to live with Nathalie for a bit when I turn 18 just for the experience... =]
Also, totally random thing, but my friend Adeline and I did the same thing coincidentally!!! We BOTH bought the buy one get one free peanut butter at Publix with bread and made #CrunchyPeanutButter + #Honey+ #Banana + #Sandwich = #Cruneanonanwich Bwahaha. What a coincidence, right??!?! But it was soooooooo good. *sigh* Isn't life amazing? ^_^
My sister, my cousin and I
Sooooooooooooooo. This is kind of random, but my sister, my cousin and I all liked a guy named Kyle at the same time. I just thought that was an interesting coincidence. Anyway, the point of this blog entry is just really for me to rant about the conversation I had with my sister today on the long drive home from Melbourne to Orlando and then digress to whatever else is on my mind. ^_^ (If you haven't noticed, all of this entries were written on a whim and I don't really edit anything. I just spew out whatever's in my MINDDDDDD.)
We were talking about our exes. Apparently my sister has only kissed three guys like me! That's nice to know. All of her boyfriend experiences seem so nice, but I guess that's because she has very high expectations! For instance, her favorite boyfriend was Kyle and he'd always, always open every single door for her. Car door, house door, at school, whatever! He would run up to be the chivalrous gentleman he is. It's so sad that she broke up with him... because he was a terrible kisser. Bwahaha. I can't even imagine that. A bad kisser?! It had to be bad enough for her to leave a guy who's in a pretty cool band, programs, 6'2'', great-looking, most popular guy in school, has money, extremely sweet and etc. Can you believe that!!! Kissing THAT bad. Hahahaha. So yeah. I've never had an awkward kisser really. I mean, Tommy improved, but no more awkward kissing after that! Man, I can't wait until I meet my next guy or girl. I would really, really like to meet someone who's very much like me or at least someone I'm attracted to RIGHT AWAY! Why are they so rare to find?! I remember liking a girl named Logan in 7th grade, then Tommy in 8th, then this one guy and then Max a month later... so I've only REALLY liked three guys and was kind of confused about a girl. But it's been 8 months since I've met anyone I've liked right away! I mean, there are 7 billion people on earth. Where are all the people I'm compatible with?! Ha, I wonder if I've already met the person I'd like to be with. I don't know. Just another 17 year old girl ranting, and I'm getting impatient!
To be honest, I'm secretly a hopeless romantic all the time. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
^_^
^_^
Forever Alone
Today I had my nails done. If you know me, then you know that I NEVER get my nails done... Ha. In fact, the only times I can ever recall getting my nails done are 1. Prom 2010, 2. Speech class in Fall Semester 2010, 3. Graduation 2011 and 4. right now at the car dealership. I only did it because it was free today when you get your oil changed. So yeah, as I was getting my nails done I realized how nice it was for the lady to hold my hand. What a weirdo I am! I must by so lonely. It seems as if my hands are extra sensitive to whenever someone touches them. It didn't help that she was very caring and massaged them really well. >_< So yeah, no one ever holds my hands... For instance, a girl at camp was being really friendly like girly girls are and she held my hand as we were walking towards our tent. I don't know, but I felt really surprised as I let her hold onto my hand anyway and we started running. My heart was beating fast and I didn't know what to do. It was nice. What else can I say? I can't really describe it as anything else. So yeah. That is something that happened today. I like it when my hands are touched.
I really am a 17 year old girl
Um. Warning, just really girly memories. I'm ranting about how I miss my ex and then recollecting a memorable date I had with a Republican. Not really interesting, but I just want to talk.
I think I still love him, my ex-boyfriend that is. My first and only boyfriend... And love as in friend/family. It's almost been a year since I stopped considering him as a romantic partner. It happened when I started college and was exposed to so many new people. I got confused... I felt like Tommy was really holding me back. Here I was trying my best and focusing on him, trying my best to make him his best. He didn't put any effort in it though. He was so complacent with his position in life and truly believed that he already found the girl he was going to marry. I mean, I can't blame him. I was with the guy for four years and at the time that was an entire quarter of my life. 25% of my life I was dating Tommy!!! So of course he was very, very influential to me. When I think back to it now, it's completely crazy that I was in 8th grade while he was a freshman IN COLLEGE. What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck was wrong with him?! Bwahaha. Whatever. That's the past now, can't change it. When I started college I was thinking, “Hey, I'm about the age when Tommy met me... I wonder if he's changed too.” Anyway, blah blah blah. I miss him. It's so weird that I can't hang out with him whenever I want. It's so weird that he's afraid to fall in love with me again so we can't really be friends. During those four years with him he was my ONLY friend... I didn't have anyone else to talk to and vice versa. I knew all of his secrets and he knew mine. He put up with all of my teenage girl phases and helped me from going insane. Because of him I got into FPS and racing games. And because of him my dad purchased a $60k plus car (it honestly wasn't me who wanted the car. I was begging for a 1. $3.5k RX-7 or maybe a 2. $15k Sti or even a 3. $20k 'vette as a FIRST car). So yeah... that was my little rant on how I miss Tommy. All my friends have been telling me that he'll always have a little piece of my heart and I guess they're right. It's so sad that I can't even hug him anymore.
Also, I don't think I could seriously date anyone for a while. I don't think that I should until I'm through with school anyway. It always freaks me out and my eyes widen whenever a guy mentions any type of marriage or wife while on a date, especiallyyyyyy the first date. Well, then again, I never seem to accept 2nd dates with guys. Okie, there's one exception besides Tommy, but I really don't know what's happening with that so I don't count it. I've only been on 10 or so first dates and I really did like all of the guys until the date was over. Oh yeah, just one thing, whenever I like a guy I'm usually the one to ask them out... I just don't like to waste time or play pointless mind games. My family thinks it's awful, but it's usually like this. “Me: I like you. Guy: Oh, I like you too. Me: Wanna hang out?” and then we make plans. One of the dates I remember the most was around Halloween last year and I was dressed as slutty sailor moon/Japanese school girl. Bwahaha. So yeah.... anyway, it was with a guy I call the Republican and I liked him because he mentioned string theory (chemistry is dear to my heart <3), was tall and handsome, funny and outgoing. So I found him on facebook, got his number and asked him out to Late Knights where it was Halloween themed. At first I really liked him, we had so much fun and he was so strong! During the spinning swing thing, he spun the thing we were in so fast I nearly flew out and was screaming with terror for him to slow down!!! During that date, the Republican skipped a nerdy, Russian boy in line so we could get in faster and didn't expect the Russian kid to develop a crush on me... Ha, the Republican keeps telling me how he wished he didn't do that. Anyway, after I was bored with Late Knights I made him drive me out to Austin's. I changed out of my slutty school girl costume though into blue workout short-shorts, white cotton v-neck, knee-high socks and sneakers. I kept my hair in pony-tails though. All the guys were upset that I changed, but seriously, it was cold that night and I didn't want to enter my favorite coffee shop like a slut. During the night the Russian kept talking to me so the Republican decided to take me out for a walk... and that's when he freaked me out. I just love walks. I love it when a guy takes me out for a nice, relaxing walk for careless conversations. So perfect. But this guy, he takes me out on a walk and begins interrogating me to see if I'm wife material and even asking questions about kids! Afterwards though we went back to Austin's and I got the Russian boy's number. He just beat some random guy at chess and that was cute. So Ryan was driving me back to UCF and when we were at my car we sat in the trunk of his truck for a bit and he was being awfully romantic, so I decided to give him a second chance. He gave me his jacket to wear and I was leaning against him looking at the stars. He knew that I was pretty innocent and told me about all of his past girlfriends so I would know ahead of time and I said that's all right because I don't expect much from guys these days. Even Tommy had gotten around before he met me, I guess that's what did it. Anyway, when the conversation died and I was bored I told him I had to go home. I was expecting a goodnight kiss goodbye, but I guess he was too chicken. I was a bit disappointed because it was such perfect timing! Out of all the other dates I've been on too, I can't believe none of the guys wanted to kiss me goodbye. In fact, 2 out of the 3 boys I have kissed was me initiating it. Ha. AM I NOT KISSABLE?! So yeah, I was disappointed and didn't go on a 2nd date with him. That's really it.
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