Thanks for letting me in on the know
Don't care what you are, boy, man
.....
,,,,,
;;;;;;
.....
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
It's about time
I take advantage of how amazing my life is (and how amazing I am... haha) and do good. It's just not enough being nice!!! It isn't.
awlkejfalw;kejfalkfjsaldkjf
Gosh, I love nice people. :)
You don't understand how great this world is!!!!!!!!
Why is everyone cynical?
Or jaded.
Or pessimistic.
Especially in the United States, I don't understand.
Also....
....
I'm not going to let the world come crashing down before my eyes.
I'll never let myself see the world that way.
People are good.
Society isn't bad.
Don't worry...
We can trust each other.
awlkejfalw;kejfalkfjsaldkjf
Gosh, I love nice people. :)
You don't understand how great this world is!!!!!!!!
Why is everyone cynical?
Or jaded.
Or pessimistic.
Especially in the United States, I don't understand.
Also....
....
I'm not going to let the world come crashing down before my eyes.
I'll never let myself see the world that way.
People are good.
Society isn't bad.
Don't worry...
We can trust each other.
I don't have to "work"
So I get up at 7:30 every day to shower and drive to work by 8:30 at my family's clinic.
Then, I make phone calls, take care of patients waiting, file their information, call insurance companies, do the insurance billing, make appoints and all that good busy stuff until the clinic closes at 6:30.
That's about 10 hours a day five days a week.
I don't HAVE to do this, but I do so my family doesn't have to hire another girl.
That'll save them so much money!
The clinic is opened 60 hours a week (I don't work on Saturdays) and a receptionist gets paid about $8/hr.
That's about $500 a week they're saving!!!
To be honest, I'm not just a nice daughter.
I'm just trying to trade in working for some freedom.
...
So my dad will basically buy me anything if I want it enough. So will my uncle.
Why?
I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like they're trying to buy my happiness and love.
At least my uncle is sincere, I'm just confused about my dad.
I'm confused about my family in general... I was basically raised through lies and manipulation and now I'm left matured with no idea which side of my family is the lesser of the two evils.
But not to worry, I shall continue learning and growing up!!!
...
Everyone in my family wants to escape each other.
They always want to run away because we're "dysfunctional" and it stresses them out or whatever.
Why do I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't want to abandon my family?
Maybe I'm just the self-righteous one, the child who wants to be a hero.
If anyone can take on the crazies, it's me!
I want to help! It's very possible for us to be a happy family, don't you think? =]
It just makes me sad when they give up... I really love my family. So much.
I would never run away from them.
...
Sooooooooooooooo...........
back to the reason I started this rant.
Be warned, I am a freaking spoiled brat.
I can purchase just about any material item I ever want.
My uncle is very persistent on buying me a tablet.
At first he was going to get me an iPad 2, but I said I didn't want one.
Then, he said that he was going to get me that 32gb Acer tablet for $500 or whatever, but I really don't need a tablet......
I have a laptop AND a smart phone, both of which I am proud to say that I paid for myself. :D
Anyway, just asking for cash is really rude... *le sigh* He wants to buy me a present.
I could use a new acoustic guitar, or headphones, or a metal flute, or this other instrument....... or some CDs.
But he's going to get me a tablet anyway because it'll be easy for school.
He heard about me rooting the nook color and wanted to give me something better.
Gosh, $500!!! That's how much my laptop costs!!!
But my dad is going to buy the tablet from me for $500, so that solves that problem.
I just feel bad because I could really get my dad a better tablet than that or something
but my family is so, so, so, so illogically stubborn.
...............................
On a different note.
My uncle is pretty cool. He tries to hack everything. Uh, never mind. I don't want to talk about his accomplishments anymore.
Then, I make phone calls, take care of patients waiting, file their information, call insurance companies, do the insurance billing, make appoints and all that good busy stuff until the clinic closes at 6:30.
That's about 10 hours a day five days a week.
I don't HAVE to do this, but I do so my family doesn't have to hire another girl.
That'll save them so much money!
The clinic is opened 60 hours a week (I don't work on Saturdays) and a receptionist gets paid about $8/hr.
That's about $500 a week they're saving!!!
To be honest, I'm not just a nice daughter.
I'm just trying to trade in working for some freedom.
...
So my dad will basically buy me anything if I want it enough. So will my uncle.
Why?
I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like they're trying to buy my happiness and love.
At least my uncle is sincere, I'm just confused about my dad.
I'm confused about my family in general... I was basically raised through lies and manipulation and now I'm left matured with no idea which side of my family is the lesser of the two evils.
But not to worry, I shall continue learning and growing up!!!
...
Everyone in my family wants to escape each other.
They always want to run away because we're "dysfunctional" and it stresses them out or whatever.
Why do I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't want to abandon my family?
Maybe I'm just the self-righteous one, the child who wants to be a hero.
If anyone can take on the crazies, it's me!
I want to help! It's very possible for us to be a happy family, don't you think? =]
It just makes me sad when they give up... I really love my family. So much.
I would never run away from them.
...
Sooooooooooooooo...........
back to the reason I started this rant.
Be warned, I am a freaking spoiled brat.
I can purchase just about any material item I ever want.
My uncle is very persistent on buying me a tablet.
At first he was going to get me an iPad 2, but I said I didn't want one.
Then, he said that he was going to get me that 32gb Acer tablet for $500 or whatever, but I really don't need a tablet......
I have a laptop AND a smart phone, both of which I am proud to say that I paid for myself. :D
Anyway, just asking for cash is really rude... *le sigh* He wants to buy me a present.
I could use a new acoustic guitar, or headphones, or a metal flute, or this other instrument....... or some CDs.
But he's going to get me a tablet anyway because it'll be easy for school.
He heard about me rooting the nook color and wanted to give me something better.
Gosh, $500!!! That's how much my laptop costs!!!
But my dad is going to buy the tablet from me for $500, so that solves that problem.
I just feel bad because I could really get my dad a better tablet than that or something
but my family is so, so, so, so illogically stubborn.
...............................
On a different note.
My uncle is pretty cool. He tries to hack everything. Uh, never mind. I don't want to talk about his accomplishments anymore.
Why does everyone think I have a boyfriend?...
I can assure you that I am currently single... What's going on here? Are my Google+ and Facebook profiles not clear enough? Nhi - SINGLE (Not like it's a bad thing... just a fact.)
Who is this man that everyone thinks I have, but don't?!?! And where do I meet him? Ha.
:)
Who is this man that everyone thinks I have, but don't?!?! And where do I meet him? Ha.
:)
My life is good...
Here I am sitting at the computer filling out insurance info on patients...
I have a can of Arizona RX Energy Herbal Tonic to my left because I was going to pass out earlier I was so sleepy and Kinder bueno chocolate bars in front of me because I saw it at the impulse aisle.
I have two $135 paychecks in my wallet.
I have so much money now!
Just thinking about it...
I mean, it's only a couple hundred bucks.... but man, think of all the possibilities.
Now I'm just hoping that college doesn't drain away my account. o_o
I've really started to care less about classes because I know I'll finish EVENTUALLY.
Even if I finish my chem degree at age 22 I'll be fine with that. I'm in no rush for life...
It also bothers the fuck out of me when weird people leave the original protector on things they buy such as cell phones, keyboards or electric guitars. I just rip the damn plastic off because you don't really need it!
God, so annoying.
Anyway...... haha.
I wanted to go out tonight but I pack for.... *shudders* Jesus camp.
I made four tie dye t-shirts with Addie and Nathalie!!! Did I say that already?
Gosh, I'm so excited to see how they turned out!!! :3
Mm... I love life so much. =]
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I'm listening to some really good music on my laptop right now too. Haha.
People are so nice. I really love this world.
I have a can of Arizona RX Energy Herbal Tonic to my left because I was going to pass out earlier I was so sleepy and Kinder bueno chocolate bars in front of me because I saw it at the impulse aisle.
I have two $135 paychecks in my wallet.
I have so much money now!
Just thinking about it...
I mean, it's only a couple hundred bucks.... but man, think of all the possibilities.
Now I'm just hoping that college doesn't drain away my account. o_o
I've really started to care less about classes because I know I'll finish EVENTUALLY.
Even if I finish my chem degree at age 22 I'll be fine with that. I'm in no rush for life...
It also bothers the fuck out of me when weird people leave the original protector on things they buy such as cell phones, keyboards or electric guitars. I just rip the damn plastic off because you don't really need it!
God, so annoying.
Anyway...... haha.
I wanted to go out tonight but I pack for.... *shudders* Jesus camp.
I made four tie dye t-shirts with Addie and Nathalie!!! Did I say that already?
Gosh, I'm so excited to see how they turned out!!! :3
Mm... I love life so much. =]
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I'm listening to some really good music on my laptop right now too. Haha.
People are so nice. I really love this world.
Some guys
prefer the really weird, out there girls... but only the pretty ones.
Why?
I think it's because those girls are different.
You know, those girls who post random Facebook pictures of themselves that make you go "What the fuck?... Okay...."
But they're really pretty and they're special, so it's okie.
Sometimes I wonder how those guys feel sometimes when they go out with a girl like that.
Is it frustrating?
It must never get boring, right?
And as long as they're blinded by love, everything will be alright.
=]
I wonder what type of girl I am besides the generic adjectives.
Why?
I think it's because those girls are different.
You know, those girls who post random Facebook pictures of themselves that make you go "What the fuck?... Okay...."
But they're really pretty and they're special, so it's okie.
Sometimes I wonder how those guys feel sometimes when they go out with a girl like that.
Is it frustrating?
It must never get boring, right?
And as long as they're blinded by love, everything will be alright.
=]
I wonder what type of girl I am besides the generic adjectives.
Fuck it.
I'm going to ask Josh to hang out with me next week. If I don't, then I'm a weirdo and will be slightly disappointed in myself.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Dear diary...
I feel lonely tonight.
Maybe I should have gone out to that Taste open mic comedy.
But I only knew about five acquaintances...
But tomorrow I shall visit Addie and Nathalie because they always cheer me up.
Oh, and I'm so excited to see how my tie dye shirts turned out.
^_^
So see ya then, my love!!!
<3
**Also, paid Nhi feels like rich Nhi. I'll have enough money soon....................
Maybe I should have gone out to that Taste open mic comedy.
But I only knew about five acquaintances...
But tomorrow I shall visit Addie and Nathalie because they always cheer me up.
Oh, and I'm so excited to see how my tie dye shirts turned out.
^_^
So see ya then, my love!!!
<3
**Also, paid Nhi feels like rich Nhi. I'll have enough money soon....................
Picky, picky girl...
Ever since I started trying out good apples, I've been picky about eating the gross ones.....
They're not gross, they're just average apples that now seem gross because I know what eating something magical feels like now.
The same thing has been happening to my taste of music lately...
And the type of people I hang out with...
I guess this applies to all things, huh?
But I really don't want to become an audiophile or applephile or whatever...
I like to enjoy ALL THE THINGS!!!
Which I do and I will. ^_^
They're not gross, they're just average apples that now seem gross because I know what eating something magical feels like now.
The same thing has been happening to my taste of music lately...
And the type of people I hang out with...
I guess this applies to all things, huh?
But I really don't want to become an audiophile or applephile or whatever...
I like to enjoy ALL THE THINGS!!!
Which I do and I will. ^_^
I hate uniforms
or conformity in general...
but then again, I'm only saying this because my church is making me wear a navy blue pleated mini skirt, white button up shirt, black shoes and a scarf thing.
Also, I went to Catholic school for a million years and was brainwashed pretty well until I met Max.
Not even Tommy could waver my faith! But then BAM!!! Science and logic, I began to think about everything in an order.
Anyway...........
Boys like uniforms, right? I guess that's a plus.
I mean, I wear my old uniform as a school girl costume sometimes.
Bwahaha.
Oh God, what am I talking about?
Uh.......
So, on to a related thought.
Why are men in uniform attractive?
Especially to me, I don't understand...
I really like men in uniform
BUT
the idea of sameness and obeying orders just mind boggles me.
I'm very conflicted about this, because working together as a unit IS a good thing, it's quite progressive.
But I don't know what I have against this sameness, maybe it's just that no one is allowed to be an individual and express their own thoughts and ideas, to contribute.
So yeah...
Hm.
Not bad.
Maybe one day I can explain this to you better because I'm not sure if I'm making much sense right now. Ha.
but then again, I'm only saying this because my church is making me wear a navy blue pleated mini skirt, white button up shirt, black shoes and a scarf thing.
Also, I went to Catholic school for a million years and was brainwashed pretty well until I met Max.
Not even Tommy could waver my faith! But then BAM!!! Science and logic, I began to think about everything in an order.
Anyway...........
Boys like uniforms, right? I guess that's a plus.
I mean, I wear my old uniform as a school girl costume sometimes.
Bwahaha.
Oh God, what am I talking about?
Uh.......
So, on to a related thought.
Why are men in uniform attractive?
Especially to me, I don't understand...
I really like men in uniform
BUT
the idea of sameness and obeying orders just mind boggles me.
I'm very conflicted about this, because working together as a unit IS a good thing, it's quite progressive.
But I don't know what I have against this sameness, maybe it's just that no one is allowed to be an individual and express their own thoughts and ideas, to contribute.
So yeah...
Hm.
Not bad.
Maybe one day I can explain this to you better because I'm not sure if I'm making much sense right now. Ha.
I wonder
how many guys would go out with me if I walked up to them and said "I love you"?
And I don't mean strangers, I mean guys who've seen me around and may know my name.
Haha.
I'm so tempted to try, but I know it'll all end badly because I really don't LOVE any of them. I just think they're cute, funny or have a crush on them.
But it just might work....................
And I don't mean strangers, I mean guys who've seen me around and may know my name.
Haha.
I'm so tempted to try, but I know it'll all end badly because I really don't LOVE any of them. I just think they're cute, funny or have a crush on them.
But it just might work....................
I am not a hipster
Sometimes I stop myself often from telling people about things they've recently found. I don't care if I knew them first... and it annoys me like hell when people keep saying that they knew things before they were popular. Why the fuck do you care?!?! Ha.
So I am not a hipster.
Is that still a thing these days?
I usually follow my sister for trends... It seems like she gave up the hipster thing a while ago and traded it for an Asian obsession, more specifically Korean with <i>some</i> Japanese. Before hipster though, she was scene and before scene she was really preppy.
So yeah. I don't think hipster is a thing anymore and I don't care.
So I am not a hipster.
Is that still a thing these days?
I usually follow my sister for trends... It seems like she gave up the hipster thing a while ago and traded it for an Asian obsession, more specifically Korean with <i>some</i> Japanese. Before hipster though, she was scene and before scene she was really preppy.
So yeah. I don't think hipster is a thing anymore and I don't care.
You should read my Facebook notes
You can see how clearly I grew up. It has the dates and everything when I wrote them. Quite interesting in my opinion...
Did you know that I am so determined, ambitious and stubborn?
Oh so stubborn…
I usually don’t quit until I get what I want either.
I’ll admit that I do give up sometimes, but I really hate it when I do.
Also, giving up is not the same thing and getting tired.
Or maybe I’m just making a big deal out of things…
For instance, not playing a game after a while because I’ve found other entertaining things to do or not fixing something small after I realized that I don’t use it anyway is getting tired of it.
If I rage quit a game because I kept trying and got frustrated by not being able to pass a level or go through a certain area, that’s quitting. So is not fixing something I'll continue being annoyed at after many attempts.
Uh…
Some things I will not give up on are my own fate (duh) and people with potential.
Does that sound weird?
Haha.
If I find someone with potential to save the world, I will not give them up!!!
Even if they don’t realize it now, or if they’re completely oblivious, I’ll try my best to convince them otherwise always.
Eh, time to move on to a different rant.
I haven’t met any girls who’ve made a big impact on my life, yet. I also want to find a girl who’s going to fight to save the world. I don’t know, I think I may be over romanticizing these texts, but that’s how I see it in my mind. Why can't I have a girl to look up to?
Ha.
The more I talk the weirder I sound… or the more you realize I’m a bit odd?
So far I’ve found three guys who are making a difference, or will and know they will, and one with potential. Hopefully as I grow up, I’ll start seeing more and more of them. Four people within a year isn’t bad!
Okie, another rant.
I wish my li'l sis would see things the way I do… I don’t know why I’m so upset at her being complacent in life. Yeah, she’s got it made. Her life is going to be soooooo easy. But with all of those resources, why doesn't she do something to help? It’s going to be so boring… she’s not going to contribute to society at all… She's going to live her life and die (God, that must sound awful reading. But it really is that short and meaningless.). I really, really hate talking about my sister like this, but I feel like this will be her life:
College -> Pharmaceuticals -> Marry rich, handsome husband -> Enjoy easy life with nice things -> Children are a possibility
And that will be all that matters to her anyway…
Nothing about the world or the people around her. Maybe family, but that's it.
Me?
I have big plans and lots of projects. Okie, okie. I have some selfish projects too that will just satisfy me and take up a lot of time, but I’ll always have the world in mind! I just really, really want to make a difference. I’m no different than anyone else… my perspective on life is just what stands out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
al;rsktgawrektaewLRakertjEAKRJTLAKJT!!!!!!!!
Hello, I love you
al;rsktgawrektaewLRakertjEAKRJTLAKJT!!!!!!!!
Hello, I love you
Won't you tell me your name? (I bet it's some generic white boy's name, huh?)
Hello, I love you
Let me jump in your game. (Uh... watch out, because I'll definitely jump into your life if I want to. >_<)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
One of my biggest fears
is losing someone I'm madly in love with before we even had a chance to begin something.
As in...
death.
*sigh*
That's the worst, right?
Or anything that would result in something similar.
I was just reading my friend's Facebook wall.
He died in a car accident last year.
His girl still writes on his Facebook page and every post I read makes me weep.
They were together for 1.5 years before he died...
I just...
can't imagine that kind of pain.
As in...
death.
*sigh*
That's the worst, right?
Or anything that would result in something similar.
I was just reading my friend's Facebook wall.
He died in a car accident last year.
His girl still writes on his Facebook page and every post I read makes me weep.
They were together for 1.5 years before he died...
I just...
can't imagine that kind of pain.
I would tell you everthing
but this is the internet...
I'd tell you what I did last night
to explain how much fun I had.
But I won't.
Hopefully my memory shall serve me well
and key words will let me relive the night.
I mean
it wasn't AMAZING
just really fun...
I think my brain is a little off now though.
Uh, I've got a bad headache.
Blech, blah.
Also, I'm having a ridiculous IM convo with a kid. Ha.
I'd tell you what I did last night
to explain how much fun I had.
But I won't.
Hopefully my memory shall serve me well
and key words will let me relive the night.
I mean
it wasn't AMAZING
just really fun...
I think my brain is a little off now though.
Uh, I've got a bad headache.
Blech, blah.
Also, I'm having a ridiculous IM convo with a kid. Ha.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I don't sleep well with others
I really, really hate going to sleep with other people (though there are few exceptions...).
I also like to be alone sometimes, maybe that's why?
Well, tonight is the THIRD night in a row where my little sister has decided to come over to sleep in my bed.
I have a California King Size bed, so there's plenty of room.
I just think she's annoying.
Watching her Korean dramas... randomly heckling... her weird breathing
Totally breaks my concentration from trying to fix my songs, reading and being a geek on the computer!!!
But yeah.
I don't sleep well with other people period, unless I like you.
And here's my sister waltzing in my room.
I would sleep in her room, but IT IS A DISGUSTING MESS.
SHE HAS CLOTHES.... EVERYWHERE!!!
And that totally freaks me out.
I have the smallest bedroom in the house
Uh
Sorry, I digress.
Anyway... so my sister was in my room annoying me when she asks for a massage.
Me and her must not be sitting right or something because our shoulders are always aching after being on the computer for a while.
"If I give you a massage, will you get out of my room?" I ask her.
"Yeah."
So I start massaging her.... evilly.
"AHHHHHHHHH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! STOP IT!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA. I'M DROOLING ALL OVER YOUR BED!!!!" Chandler screams.
And so it was true, she drooled on my bed.... Gross.
When I massaged her I pinched near her shoulder blades really hard so what she feels are extremely sharp pains and intense ticklishness simultaneously.
MWAHAHAHA!!!!....
I am so awful.
And so, she asks me to massage her once again, but the correct way since her shoulders really aches.
But I don't. I continue tickling/pinching her.
She laughs in pain...
But she doesn't give up. She promises to leave my quarters if I would please gently massage her sore shoulders.
Nope.
About 8 or 9 times this girl doesn't learn her lesson!!!!
Eventually, she gives up and goes back on her laptop to watch Korean dramas.
I think I was releasing my anger out on her.
Ha, I was so mean... D:
But I mean, I did just lose half of my Spain savings today just because I wanted to please people.
Blahhhhhh.
Hm.
I'm in love.
Also, I haven't had an apple in what seems like YEARS!!!!
Also, I'm taking Rebecca to Nathalie's party because I know I would be a loner and awkwardly avoid everyone unless I had someone I was really comfortable with. Rebecca is basically my sister! <3
Also, I love you.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Goodnight, cupcake.
Wait, that is much too delicious of a name.
Hm...
Goodnight, cyborg.
I know it's totally unrelated, random and doesn't sound very sweet... but that was the first word that came into my mine.
awl;ekjfawlekfjaeljfaef
Mm.....
I miss you.
=]
I also like to be alone sometimes, maybe that's why?
Well, tonight is the THIRD night in a row where my little sister has decided to come over to sleep in my bed.
I have a California King Size bed, so there's plenty of room.
I just think she's annoying.
Watching her Korean dramas... randomly heckling... her weird breathing
Totally breaks my concentration from trying to fix my songs, reading and being a geek on the computer!!!
But yeah.
I don't sleep well with other people period, unless I like you.
And here's my sister waltzing in my room.
I would sleep in her room, but IT IS A DISGUSTING MESS.
SHE HAS CLOTHES.... EVERYWHERE!!!
And that totally freaks me out.
I have the smallest bedroom in the house
Uh
Sorry, I digress.
Anyway... so my sister was in my room annoying me when she asks for a massage.
Me and her must not be sitting right or something because our shoulders are always aching after being on the computer for a while.
"If I give you a massage, will you get out of my room?" I ask her.
"Yeah."
So I start massaging her.... evilly.
"AHHHHHHHHH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! STOP IT!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA. I'M DROOLING ALL OVER YOUR BED!!!!" Chandler screams.
And so it was true, she drooled on my bed.... Gross.
When I massaged her I pinched near her shoulder blades really hard so what she feels are extremely sharp pains and intense ticklishness simultaneously.
MWAHAHAHA!!!!....
I am so awful.
And so, she asks me to massage her once again, but the correct way since her shoulders really aches.
But I don't. I continue tickling/pinching her.
She laughs in pain...
But she doesn't give up. She promises to leave my quarters if I would please gently massage her sore shoulders.
Nope.
About 8 or 9 times this girl doesn't learn her lesson!!!!
Eventually, she gives up and goes back on her laptop to watch Korean dramas.
I think I was releasing my anger out on her.
Ha, I was so mean... D:
But I mean, I did just lose half of my Spain savings today just because I wanted to please people.
Blahhhhhh.
Hm.
I'm in love.
Also, I haven't had an apple in what seems like YEARS!!!!
Also, I'm taking Rebecca to Nathalie's party because I know I would be a loner and awkwardly avoid everyone unless I had someone I was really comfortable with. Rebecca is basically my sister! <3
Also, I love you.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Goodnight, cupcake.
Wait, that is much too delicious of a name.
Hm...
Goodnight, cyborg.
I know it's totally unrelated, random and doesn't sound very sweet... but that was the first word that came into my mine.
awl;ekjfawlekfjaeljfaef
Mm.....
I miss you.
=]
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Something random
So my not-a-date guy from Monday night took me back to his apartment. At the front door he stopped me to say something. Guys are always hiding something, and this time I figured that he was going to warn me about a messy room.
But not exactly...
"All right, I have to tell you this ahead of time. Don't be afraid or weirded out or anything when you come in, but I had a blow-up doll in the living room. I kind of use one. Oh, wait! But not for sex. I use it for something else... Oh. Uh... So yeah. I just wanted you to know beforehand. Okie, here..."
So of course that was the first thing I looked for when I walked into his apartment. It was kind of odd... It (or she??) was just sitting on a dining chair by the lamp. Then, I just jumped onto the couch to watch some Arrested Development. He asked what kind of movies I watched and then I told him I liked chick flicks. We started watching Timer together and it's a pretty good movie (bad ending in my opinion), but it was sort of awkward because we weren't on a date and we were basically on opposite ends of the couch with my lying there like a potato. Bahaha.
I don't know why dates are just more comfortable.
But then again, I only go on first dates and I go on a lot of not-a-dates. Ha.
Never mind.
My mind is just talking to me. o_o;;
But not exactly...
"All right, I have to tell you this ahead of time. Don't be afraid or weirded out or anything when you come in, but I had a blow-up doll in the living room. I kind of use one. Oh, wait! But not for sex. I use it for something else... Oh. Uh... So yeah. I just wanted you to know beforehand. Okie, here..."
So of course that was the first thing I looked for when I walked into his apartment. It was kind of odd... It (or she??) was just sitting on a dining chair by the lamp. Then, I just jumped onto the couch to watch some Arrested Development. He asked what kind of movies I watched and then I told him I liked chick flicks. We started watching Timer together and it's a pretty good movie (bad ending in my opinion), but it was sort of awkward because we weren't on a date and we were basically on opposite ends of the couch with my lying there like a potato. Bahaha.
I don't know why dates are just more comfortable.
But then again, I only go on first dates and I go on a lot of not-a-dates. Ha.
Never mind.
My mind is just talking to me. o_o;;
Every once in a while before I begin working at the clinic I like to measure my height and weight in hopes that I’m growing taller… As I was doing so today, my dad walked up and asked me how much I weigh these days since my mom complained about my chubbiness. As I was standing on the scale, I moved the weights to where they would normally balance. Unfortunately, I was surprised to find that the scale did not budge whatsoever.
I was stunned…
I can’t believe I gained that much weight in a week!!! My diet has recently consisted of bags of shredded cheese (LOTS of it…), granola bars, subway and wherever people would take me. Freaked out, I slowly moved the weights to the right in hopes that I did not gain more than 5 lbs or so, but the weight on the scale had stayed solidly stuck to top. I even tried sighing out all the air in my lungs that may have weighed me down! >_< I was in denial… Once I was reaching about 15lbs over though, I asked myself loudly, “What the heck happened to me?!” I mean, did I really let myself go that much?? =[ Then my dad started laughing… I instantly looked down and noticed his foot on the scale, which he quickly removed. CLUNK! The weights on the scale fell instantly and I had mixed feelings. Thank God I didn’t gain a rice bag of weight (25lbs… lololol)!!! How could my own dad let me feel so scared?? Yeap… and that is all. Ha. That is how my dad trolled me today. I know, I know. I’m such a girl for caring about my weight that much!!! >.<
But anyway, I'm having a fantastic life...
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I was stunned…
I can’t believe I gained that much weight in a week!!! My diet has recently consisted of bags of shredded cheese (LOTS of it…), granola bars, subway and wherever people would take me. Freaked out, I slowly moved the weights to the right in hopes that I did not gain more than 5 lbs or so, but the weight on the scale had stayed solidly stuck to top. I even tried sighing out all the air in my lungs that may have weighed me down! >_< I was in denial… Once I was reaching about 15lbs over though, I asked myself loudly, “What the heck happened to me?!” I mean, did I really let myself go that much?? =[ Then my dad started laughing… I instantly looked down and noticed his foot on the scale, which he quickly removed. CLUNK! The weights on the scale fell instantly and I had mixed feelings. Thank God I didn’t gain a rice bag of weight (25lbs… lololol)!!! How could my own dad let me feel so scared?? Yeap… and that is all. Ha. That is how my dad trolled me today. I know, I know. I’m such a girl for caring about my weight that much!!! >.<
But anyway, I'm having a fantastic life...
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Saturday, July 16, 2011
On the bright side
My skin is much, much nicer than it was when I was 14. I always knew I would get prettier!!!
Or at least I always hoped I would be.
You would not believe how nerdy I was.
Well, maybe you can imagine... Ahahaha.
I used to actually drag around a luggage case as my backpack... I was an awful hoarder and kept all of my books and papers in that HUGE thing.
I basically wore the same jeans every day.
In 6th grade I wore whatever shirt my mom bought for me at Walmart and discount places.
In 7th grade I wore polyester blouses in neon colors with brightly colored pants.
In 8th grade I suddenly got boobs and wore jeans every day again with t-shirts with dragons on them. I also had my Beatles jacket on every day....
But near the end of 8th grade I met Tommy and
eh
I don't want to talk about him
but he's why I started dressing nicer.
Freshman year is when I first heard about brand names.
I used to wear short shorts, mini skirts and dresses for that kid.
Man... 9th grade was WEIRD for me.
All.... American... Eagle....
10th grade was weird too
All... American Eagles, Hollister and Abercrombie.........................
*shivers*
And 11th grade was probably the worst
I would wear whatever the fuck I wanted to BUT
I only shopped at Barneys. God, I was fucking obsessed with Barneys.
Okie, yeah, I went to Nordstrom too and Saks Fifth. But whatever.
I was in that Gossip Girl phase.
I spent sooooooooooooooooooo much money.
Especially on Marc Jacobs.
I also got Louboutins.
Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.
Hm. Why am I telling you this?
So yeah. I haven't shopped since Tommy bought me stuff.
I think I was telling you how pretty I was...
man, I think I got pretty off topic...
My face is alright now.
I'm having trouble with alright and all right, so I'm using them often as practice.
Also, is it "Goodnight or good night"?
I used to think it was "good night" until a few days ago and changed my mind.
HmmmMMmmMmMM....
I'm not skinny, but at least my body still curves inwards, you know?
I'm not a round ball like this ()
I'm still like this )(
Haha.
so yeah.
ummmmmm....
My hair is so nice
it's growing out!!!
*sigh*
I'm so in love.
Or at least I always hoped I would be.
You would not believe how nerdy I was.
Well, maybe you can imagine... Ahahaha.
I used to actually drag around a luggage case as my backpack... I was an awful hoarder and kept all of my books and papers in that HUGE thing.
I basically wore the same jeans every day.
In 6th grade I wore whatever shirt my mom bought for me at Walmart and discount places.
In 7th grade I wore polyester blouses in neon colors with brightly colored pants.
In 8th grade I suddenly got boobs and wore jeans every day again with t-shirts with dragons on them. I also had my Beatles jacket on every day....
But near the end of 8th grade I met Tommy and
eh
I don't want to talk about him
but he's why I started dressing nicer.
Freshman year is when I first heard about brand names.
I used to wear short shorts, mini skirts and dresses for that kid.
Man... 9th grade was WEIRD for me.
All.... American... Eagle....
10th grade was weird too
All... American Eagles, Hollister and Abercrombie.........................
*shivers*
And 11th grade was probably the worst
I would wear whatever the fuck I wanted to BUT
I only shopped at Barneys. God, I was fucking obsessed with Barneys.
Okie, yeah, I went to Nordstrom too and Saks Fifth. But whatever.
I was in that Gossip Girl phase.
I spent sooooooooooooooooooo much money.
Especially on Marc Jacobs.
I also got Louboutins.
Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.
Hm. Why am I telling you this?
So yeah. I haven't shopped since Tommy bought me stuff.
I think I was telling you how pretty I was...
man, I think I got pretty off topic...
My face is alright now.
I'm having trouble with alright and all right, so I'm using them often as practice.
Also, is it "Goodnight or good night"?
I used to think it was "good night" until a few days ago and changed my mind.
HmmmMMmmMmMM....
I'm not skinny, but at least my body still curves inwards, you know?
I'm not a round ball like this ()
I'm still like this )(
Haha.
so yeah.
ummmmmm....
My hair is so nice
it's growing out!!!
*sigh*
I'm so in love.
I'm glad
haha. I really am now!!!!
^_^
<3
:)
:D
^_^
*le dreamy sigh of love*
and happiness
or whatever the heck it is I'm feeling
alkejfa;lekfja;lekfja;ef
hhahahahah.
Man, I'm good.
=]
^_^
<3
:)
:D
^_^
*le dreamy sigh of love*
and happiness
or whatever the heck it is I'm feeling
alkejfa;lekfja;lekfja;ef
hhahahahah.
Man, I'm good.
=]
I am going crazy now
To be completely honest, I'm just waiting until school starts again so everything can be completely normal.
To be completely, completely, COMPLETELY honest... it's very tough for me to not be with a guy (or girl I guess) right now.
But I'm going to anyway.
I'll wait until school starts.
Then I guess I'll start dating normally.
Or at least try to.
So far I haven't seemed to experience anything relatively normal. All relationships remotely romantic have been deemed unacceptable.
Also, I'm picky and lately I haven't been.
That's not bad or good, just something I noticed.
I can't wait until school starts, this feeling I have is so awful.
I'm just thanking the Lord (well, not really... more like my luck or whatever) that I'm still so young and my future is pretty fucking fantastic right now. =]
I love my life.
Also, I looked pretty today.
I was really cute!
Mmm... so happy. Orange tee that was pretty fitted and black shorts. My hair was parted pretty weird and awkward since I let it dry in a towel wrapped around my head after I showered.
Cell phones totally blow my mind. They're so awesome. So smart and capable of just about anything these days.
My cousin was really cute today about the formal goodbye to my grandparents.
I'm going to go to sleep now while watching Arrested Development.
I'm so sad and happy at the same time. How can this be?... ha.
I have nothing much to say really... I guess.
I just wanted to blog since I haven't in a while. A while to me at least.
To be completely, completely, COMPLETELY honest... it's very tough for me to not be with a guy (or girl I guess) right now.
But I'm going to anyway.
I'll wait until school starts.
Then I guess I'll start dating normally.
Or at least try to.
So far I haven't seemed to experience anything relatively normal. All relationships remotely romantic have been deemed unacceptable.
Also, I'm picky and lately I haven't been.
That's not bad or good, just something I noticed.
I can't wait until school starts, this feeling I have is so awful.
I'm just thanking the Lord (well, not really... more like my luck or whatever) that I'm still so young and my future is pretty fucking fantastic right now. =]
I love my life.
Also, I looked pretty today.
I was really cute!
Mmm... so happy. Orange tee that was pretty fitted and black shorts. My hair was parted pretty weird and awkward since I let it dry in a towel wrapped around my head after I showered.
Cell phones totally blow my mind. They're so awesome. So smart and capable of just about anything these days.
My cousin was really cute today about the formal goodbye to my grandparents.
I'm going to go to sleep now while watching Arrested Development.
I'm so sad and happy at the same time. How can this be?... ha.
I have nothing much to say really... I guess.
I just wanted to blog since I haven't in a while. A while to me at least.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
No, it's okie
I don't need to be comforted. Ha.
I just wanted to talk!
=/
>_<
=]
It's all right, I promise.
<3
(You know me, don't ya? I just needed to tell myself this and all the other acquaintances I know who haven't had the chance to see me, yet. =])
^_^
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
*sigh*
Pink lady apples are almost the best.
I just wanted to talk!
=/
>_<
=]
It's all right, I promise.
<3
(You know me, don't ya? I just needed to tell myself this and all the other acquaintances I know who haven't had the chance to see me, yet. =])
^_^
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
*sigh*
Pink lady apples are almost the best.
Well, you see
if I was honest to myself... I'd allow myself to be devastated because I still love that boy. I obviously do love him no matter what and it doesn't matter that I don't want to marry him or anything.
These leftover feelings just keep getting in the way because of memories in the past.
It's all over, everything that has been said and done.
I love him, but it's finished for real.
Also,
I am hungry.
So I will eat an apple.
These leftover feelings just keep getting in the way because of memories in the past.
It's all over, everything that has been said and done.
I love him, but it's finished for real.
Also,
I am hungry.
So I will eat an apple.
HE'S GOING TO BE A 23 YEAR OLD DAD
.........................................
God, I'm so sad.
I thought...
I don't know what I thought.
I suddenly feel like 4 years of my life was wasted.
He's 23 and is going to have a family already? He's buying a house and has a dog and isn't married yet.
What the fuck.
Why am I in such despair
...
I mean
...
I definitely don't want to end up with him
I just feel like I wasted so much of my life
Those four years where I was held back
To push him forward
All wasted now because
....
Well,
because of me
God, I'm so sad.
I thought...
I don't know what I thought.
I suddenly feel like 4 years of my life was wasted.
He's 23 and is going to have a family already? He's buying a house and has a dog and isn't married yet.
What the fuck.
Why am I in such despair
...
I mean
...
I definitely don't want to end up with him
I just feel like I wasted so much of my life
Those four years where I was held back
To push him forward
All wasted now because
....
Well,
because of me
Are you fucking kidding me?!?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
WHY AM I SO UPSET
THAT HE'S GOING TO HAVE A KID
HUH???
WHY AM I SO UPSET??
WHY AM I SO UPSET
THAT HE'S GOING TO HAVE A KID
HUH???
WHY AM I SO UPSET??
I like how
we're not clingy.
Yeap yeap.
You and I blog, we get along quite famously.
Thanks for not freaking out when I don't talk to you for a few hours.
Thanks for knowing sometimes I just need a break for a few days.
So yeah, this is exactly the kind of relationship I wanted!
You're still here when I need you and if you were a person and needed me, I promise to listen and do my best.
MmMMmMmM....
Learning from past experiences to not be dependent on anyone or anything.
Because that really holds me back.
Or maybe it'll hold the other person back.
Well, one of the two.
All right, I'll shut up now
And continue to maintain this lazy comfort stupor. :3
Yeap yeap.
You and I blog, we get along quite famously.
Thanks for not freaking out when I don't talk to you for a few hours.
Thanks for knowing sometimes I just need a break for a few days.
So yeah, this is exactly the kind of relationship I wanted!
You're still here when I need you and if you were a person and needed me, I promise to listen and do my best.
MmMMmMmM....
Learning from past experiences to not be dependent on anyone or anything.
Because that really holds me back.
Or maybe it'll hold the other person back.
Well, one of the two.
All right, I'll shut up now
And continue to maintain this lazy comfort stupor. :3
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
And so I took that chance...
of drinking the strawberry daiquiri he offered me. We were at an arcade... Rocky's Replay. Tommy was taking me out on a date and we took my 7 year old cousin Alex to chaperon us.
Did I tell you that I have a slightly odd memory?...
I was wearing a khaki skirt with a white Beatles tee.
He was wearing a black tee with khaki shorts.
Alex was wearing an orange polo, khaki shorts and an Abercrombie baseball cap.
......
Alex and I were playing air hockey when Tommy came back from to bar and offered me a chilli dog with a strawberry daquiri.
He had already drank from it....
During the entire 5 sec I had to think before reacting to this plastic cup held in front of my face, this was running through my mind:
“WHAT IF HE HAS HERPES?!?!!?.... What if he drugged it??!?!! Oh my God, what do I do? I love him, but can I trust him?...”
Mind you, I was 13 and never been kissed. I was probably the most innocent girl in the world back then.
And then I took a sip.
And then I took a sip.
One tiny.... little... sip.
Bwahaha.
Afterwards, I monitored myself a bit to make sure I wasn't feeling extra drowsy or dizzy.
An hour later or so at the arcade, I decided that it was fine and from then on, I trusted that kid with buying me drinks.
Oh yeah, that night was also the first time a boy touched my butt.
His hand was on my waist and when we separated to sit on opposite sides of his car his hand just slid over my butt.
Ha.
He apologized right after and claimed that it was an accident.
I told him that it was okie.
But then I didn't trust boys and their accidents anymore after that.
The end.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I don't want to
but maybe I will... take advantage... of being me.
To enjoy some...
um...
I don't know.
Mm...
Haha.
So easy to...
But I won't.
I don't think I will anyway.
I'm much too busy.
And I have friends
who last longer
o_o
*le sigh*
To enjoy some...
um...
I don't know.
Mm...
Haha.
So easy to...
But I won't.
I don't think I will anyway.
I'm much too busy.
And I have friends
who last longer
o_o
*le sigh*
Ugh. But I guess there's no such thing as too nice for my own good...
I can't say no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why?
Oh well.
Well, I CAN.
But I don't...
Blah blah blah.
I shall continue on with my day now.
And figure things out.
Seems like these days
I keep running into the same type of crazy guys
And all I want to do is help
And restore their faith in humanity
Because there is hope in this world, you know???
THERE IS HOPE.
And it does no one good
when you give up...
So yeah.
That is my goal for today.
To restore someone's faith in people.
Even if it drives me a little insane
Or is out of my way
Or is very tiring
Or may cost a bit of money
...
I can do it!!!
It'll be worth it in the end
I tell myself...
^_^
Why?
Oh well.
Well, I CAN.
But I don't...
Blah blah blah.
I shall continue on with my day now.
And figure things out.
Seems like these days
I keep running into the same type of crazy guys
And all I want to do is help
And restore their faith in humanity
Because there is hope in this world, you know???
THERE IS HOPE.
And it does no one good
when you give up...
So yeah.
That is my goal for today.
To restore someone's faith in people.
Even if it drives me a little insane
Or is out of my way
Or is very tiring
Or may cost a bit of money
...
I can do it!!!
It'll be worth it in the end
I tell myself...
^_^
Monday, July 11, 2011
A new update on my FEELINGS!!!
I feel slightly enlightened and quite happy.
Ahahahahahaha.
Now that I understand a bit more
I shall rest peacefully
for
the
night.
Ahahahahahaha.
Now that I understand a bit more
I shall rest peacefully
for
the
night.
Hm... Random
I can recall three instances today where someone said something to me and all I could think of was "What the fuck... Are you fucking kidding me???... -______-;;"
That's kind of a lot for me.
Ha.
I couldn't tell whether or not they were serious either... but I'm pretty positive two were.
That's kind of a lot for me.
Ha.
I couldn't tell whether or not they were serious either... but I'm pretty positive two were.
I didn't play the piano today
Well, I did.
For less than a minute though.
All I did was turn on my keyboard, rush through the last half of Fur Elise and played the first half of Mozart's Turkish March.
I don't know why I did that.
I like how fast my fingers can move.
For less than a minute though.
All I did was turn on my keyboard, rush through the last half of Fur Elise and played the first half of Mozart's Turkish March.
I don't know why I did that.
I like how fast my fingers can move.
I'll try not to forget
Sunday...
My head hurts. I'm debating whether or not take an aspirin, but I know I don't need it.
The current pain level is about 1.5 or 2 out of 10.
I believe the highest level of pain I have felt is about a 4.
Probably when I was either fever stricken or in that really bad car accident in Louisiana...
Pretty sure that was the first and only time I was taken to the hospital on a stretcher in an ambulance with an IV in me.
4....
Some people are pretty weak with physical pain.
I don't think I am.
Then again, I haven't felt anything bad.
I've never broken a bone.
Never been stung.
Never given birth.
Never been tortured in any way.
...
So it confuses me when doctors ask how much things hurt.
Because I have no idea how much things can hurt, how can I estimate the level from 1-10??
10 must be at the point of where I would want to kill myself. o_o;;
And I can't imagine ever wanting to do that. Ha.
Maybe that's why I like to put things lower on the scale...
My head hurts. I'm debating whether or not take an aspirin, but I know I don't need it.
The current pain level is about 1.5 or 2 out of 10.
I believe the highest level of pain I have felt is about a 4.
Probably when I was either fever stricken or in that really bad car accident in Louisiana...
Pretty sure that was the first and only time I was taken to the hospital on a stretcher in an ambulance with an IV in me.
4....
Some people are pretty weak with physical pain.
I don't think I am.
Then again, I haven't felt anything bad.
I've never broken a bone.
Never been stung.
Never given birth.
Never been tortured in any way.
...
So it confuses me when doctors ask how much things hurt.
Because I have no idea how much things can hurt, how can I estimate the level from 1-10??
10 must be at the point of where I would want to kill myself. o_o;;
And I can't imagine ever wanting to do that. Ha.
Maybe that's why I like to put things lower on the scale...
To be honest
I'm very, very terrified of becoming one of those Christian women who are very involved in their church and usually don't get married until they're past child-bearing age..................................................
I just think that Christianity provides a false sense of happiness
and makes people lazy.
Actually, don't take that too seriously
That's just my opinion of it RIGHT NOW
after reading a friend's Facebook status
and remembering my bible studies teacher
and thinking about the wedding last weekend
and thinking about the women at my church in youth group.
o_o
I WILL NOT GET SUCKED IN!!!
I just think that Christianity provides a false sense of happiness
and makes people lazy.
Actually, don't take that too seriously
That's just my opinion of it RIGHT NOW
after reading a friend's Facebook status
and remembering my bible studies teacher
and thinking about the wedding last weekend
and thinking about the women at my church in youth group.
o_o
I WILL NOT GET SUCKED IN!!!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Wah... *le sigh*
It feels like it's been a long time.
o_o
...
...
...
Erg...
So now what?
I don't remember the last time I've waited this long.
Actually, I don't think I ever have.
>.<
Well...
now I know what this feels like. o_o
Hahahahahaha.
It kind of makes me a little crazy
and I don't think right.
Oh well. ^_^
I will be patient.
o_o
...
...
...
Erg...
So now what?
I don't remember the last time I've waited this long.
Actually, I don't think I ever have.
>.<
Well...
now I know what this feels like. o_o
Hahahahahaha.
It kind of makes me a little crazy
and I don't think right.
Oh well. ^_^
I will be patient.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
I never call people my best friends
In fact, I don't feel like I have any friends in general.
Well, okie, I lied.
That's what I would have told you last year, but I'm making progress now.
So, er, um.
I guess I'll smile.
:)
But yeah
I ALMOST never call anyone my best friend
Well, okie, I lied.
That's what I would have told you last year, but I'm making progress now.
So, er, um.
I guess I'll smile.
:)
But yeah
I ALMOST never call anyone my best friend
Mm...
Don't you just love it when you hug someone real tightly?
and there's so many emotions flowing between us...
so many thoughts running through our minds.
Neither of us want to let go, right?
I'm sorry that I was the one who held on longer.
I'm sorry my eyes were watery...
but you started it!
Ha.
So yeah, that is what I remember.
and there's so many emotions flowing between us...
so many thoughts running through our minds.
Neither of us want to let go, right?
I'm sorry that I was the one who held on longer.
I'm sorry my eyes were watery...
but you started it!
Ha.
So yeah, that is what I remember.
ejg;lkweja;lwekj!!!!!!!!!!11
God, I'm so fucking tired.
My aunt's car had a flat car today.
And no one knew how to fix a flat tire but me.
Why is that?
I swear, I thought EVERYONE knew how to.
It's not like anyone taught me how to or anything, it's pretty intuitive.
I just want to rant.
Come on, guys.
You use the jack to life up the car.
Make sure to place it under a stable area of the car so nothing break under the pressure of the weight of the car because it will all be consolidated to the area of where you placed the jack. I mean, you can't just put it anywhere. -.-;;
Unscrew the lug nuts or whatever they are on the tire.
Take tire out.
Put in spare.
Screw in the lug nuts (that's what they're called right? I have no idea and there's not point in Google cause I'm lazy).
lower jack
and that's it.
but anyway...
it was hot as fuck out today in florida
and i was starting to change the tire
when some nice guy came by and offered to help
of course i let him be chivalrous
he changed the tire for me and was getting all sweaty so i felt bad
because he was going to eat at a nice restaurant with his gf
he wouldn't take anything i offered him
so i went to the waiter and told him to put $20 on that guys tab
and left.
sorry.
i'm just very tired now ...
i guess i'll tell you more about things later.
My aunt's car had a flat car today.
And no one knew how to fix a flat tire but me.
Why is that?
I swear, I thought EVERYONE knew how to.
It's not like anyone taught me how to or anything, it's pretty intuitive.
I just want to rant.
Come on, guys.
You use the jack to life up the car.
Make sure to place it under a stable area of the car so nothing break under the pressure of the weight of the car because it will all be consolidated to the area of where you placed the jack. I mean, you can't just put it anywhere. -.-;;
Unscrew the lug nuts or whatever they are on the tire.
Take tire out.
Put in spare.
Screw in the lug nuts (that's what they're called right? I have no idea and there's not point in Google cause I'm lazy).
lower jack
and that's it.
but anyway...
it was hot as fuck out today in florida
and i was starting to change the tire
when some nice guy came by and offered to help
of course i let him be chivalrous
he changed the tire for me and was getting all sweaty so i felt bad
because he was going to eat at a nice restaurant with his gf
he wouldn't take anything i offered him
so i went to the waiter and told him to put $20 on that guys tab
and left.
sorry.
i'm just very tired now ...
i guess i'll tell you more about things later.
Don't you just love
doing little favors for someone and making them happy? ^_^
It's one of the easiest things I can do to help!
Ha.
For instance, my aunt saw the belt I was wearing and brought me another belt. She asked me if I fit this one, but I didn't. I knew that she wanted my belt so I just took if off and said she could wear it. "Nhi, are you sure? I don't need it. You can still wear it." "Oh no, it's okie. I can just untuck my shirt." *Quickly pulls off the dark brown leather belt with a rounded golden buckle and hands it to her* "Thank you!!!" She was so happy to complete her outfit... :D
Yeah... these little instances may not be remembered or felt throughout the day, but it still makes me feel good that I could do something and contribute.
Other things I like to do that are simple include helping out lazy (I couldn't think of a nicer adjective... =/) people get things because they're currently enjoying their comfort too much, helping out people with easy things that'll save them time or will lessen the amount of effort they need to put out, and anything with money like if someone's a bit short to pay for an item in line, a stranger asking for gas money (this happens a lot nowadays) or whatever. I don't really NEED or depend on the money, so helping out someone is always okie.
No matter what my sister says!!!
Ha. She thinks that's the reason why I'm poor, but maybe that's because she's seen me give gas money to three strangers. Only $34 total.
I don't like her...
but I love her.
Then again, maybe I'm just naive?
:|
Hm...
I don't know.
But...
I kind of like thinking this way, giving people the benefit of the doubt.
The world feels much nicer this way. <3
I love you.
So I was look at pictures of chocolate this morning
when inspiration struck me!!!
I hate how only rich kids can afford Wonka bars.
It's $2 a bar!!! Geez.
And I like it so much because not only does it taste good, but it's very nostalgic for me because I remember reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was a pretty good book in my opinion...
>_<
So yeah.
If Charlie was poor and Wonka gave him the factory, why can't poor kids afford the chocolate??
Even the chocolate was too expensive for Charlie's family in the book!!!
Bleargh.
I know I'm just dreaming, but it'd be nice if I could do something like that.
As in... write a children's book and sell chocolate...
Er, never mind.
I guess it's difficult to explain.
But can you imagine?
A child buying a chocolate bar for a solid quarter
enjoying the sweetness and surge of endorphins
all while relating it to some magical tale?
Wouldn't that be a great childhood thing?
But maybe again it's just me...
I can afford the chocolate anyway, so what do I care...
T__________T
(I'M GOING TO DO THIS ONE DAY ANYWAY!!! Or at least something very similar in idea. o_o I WILL!!!)
I hate how only rich kids can afford Wonka bars.
It's $2 a bar!!! Geez.
And I like it so much because not only does it taste good, but it's very nostalgic for me because I remember reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was a pretty good book in my opinion...
>_<
So yeah.
If Charlie was poor and Wonka gave him the factory, why can't poor kids afford the chocolate??
Even the chocolate was too expensive for Charlie's family in the book!!!
Bleargh.
I know I'm just dreaming, but it'd be nice if I could do something like that.
As in... write a children's book and sell chocolate...
Er, never mind.
I guess it's difficult to explain.
But can you imagine?
A child buying a chocolate bar for a solid quarter
enjoying the sweetness and surge of endorphins
all while relating it to some magical tale?
Wouldn't that be a great childhood thing?
But maybe again it's just me...
I can afford the chocolate anyway, so what do I care...
T__________T
(I'M GOING TO DO THIS ONE DAY ANYWAY!!! Or at least something very similar in idea. o_o I WILL!!!)
Friday, July 8, 2011
Oh, my ex
Talking to him is pretty dangerous and feels oddly painful...
It's kind of crazy.
I'm not sure why I still feel like I love him, but I honestly know 100% for sure I do not want to be with him...
Although I know that being with him would feel nice,
but I THINK it's because I'm so comfortable with him... 4 years just boggles my mind.
He told me that if I ever needed emergency money to let him know... that's nice of him to say.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
: (
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He's such a douche bag sometimes though.
Ha.
It's kind of crazy.
I'm not sure why I still feel like I love him, but I honestly know 100% for sure I do not want to be with him...
Although I know that being with him would feel nice,
but I THINK it's because I'm so comfortable with him... 4 years just boggles my mind.
He told me that if I ever needed emergency money to let him know... that's nice of him to say.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
: (
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He's such a douche bag sometimes though.
Ha.
Language??
As you may have noticed, my use of language is pretty average.
I don't use pretty words to describe things. I don't flourish my style of writing. I don't think twice about anything in this blog.
Maybe my next entry should be something well thought out...
If I have time.
I'd like that.
It's been a while since I've worked on any writing.
And that is all.
Goodnight.
<3
I don't use pretty words to describe things. I don't flourish my style of writing. I don't think twice about anything in this blog.
Maybe my next entry should be something well thought out...
If I have time.
I'd like that.
It's been a while since I've worked on any writing.
And that is all.
Goodnight.
<3
I thought I'd tell you this now
I got into a fight with a black girl in middle school because I was better than her in P.E. I happened to run a mile the fastest, which made my overall fitness score the highest. Because I earned the award she wanted, she shoved me from behind into the basketball court's concrete ground one day. We got in a bit of a tussle until the teacher broke us up. Fortunately for me, I was the teacher's pet and got away with it while she was punished. After the fight my hands, arms and knees were badly scraped. We were running the mile again that day so I just got up and started running. Then after two laps there was blood EVERYWHERE so I told the teacher I was going to the nurse's office. Well, the nurse was actually just a guy substitute teacher who let me wash myself off. I then asked him for bandages which he started to put on me and wrap around my badly scraped arms. I told him that I wanted triple antibiotics on it first, but he said that the stuff didn't work and was just a myth. That really pissed me off because I did not want scars.
Like really... it PISSED. ME. OFF that he didn't give me triple antibiotics because I did not want infections.
At that age because my dad's a doctor and I was a bit of a rowdy kid, I knew not to use stuff like Neosporin often since my body would develop an immunity and allergic reaction to it. However, if the wound is pretty serious, I should try my best to prevent the infection. I can't believe that teacher made me argue with him for what seemed like forever before I could get some medicine!
So yeah. That is where the barely visible scar on my right hand comes from. It was the deepest scrape and didn't heal all the way because it probably got infected during the time I was arguing with that ignorant (okie, that's probably too mean of a word, but I couldn't think of a better adjective) man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But really. That has to be one of the most stupid reason for me to have ever been in a fight.
Like really... it PISSED. ME. OFF that he didn't give me triple antibiotics because I did not want infections.
At that age because my dad's a doctor and I was a bit of a rowdy kid, I knew not to use stuff like Neosporin often since my body would develop an immunity and allergic reaction to it. However, if the wound is pretty serious, I should try my best to prevent the infection. I can't believe that teacher made me argue with him for what seemed like forever before I could get some medicine!
So yeah. That is where the barely visible scar on my right hand comes from. It was the deepest scrape and didn't heal all the way because it probably got infected during the time I was arguing with that ignorant (okie, that's probably too mean of a word, but I couldn't think of a better adjective) man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But really. That has to be one of the most stupid reason for me to have ever been in a fight.
So yeah, fruit rave!
I've never really been an avid fruit girl...
Ahaha, yeah...
But I did enjoy them.
My family would buy watermelon and I'd dip the slices in a spicy salt.
I'd also dip strawberries in sugar.
....
Things have changed.
I crave fruit so much now, whether it's bananas or apples!!!
Did you know that I just ate an apple normally (biting and eating it as is) for the first time a few days ago?!?!
Isn't that crazy???
Well, let me tell you why.
I'm pretty sure I convinced myself as a kid that I was allergic to 99% of things in the world,
but now that I'm older
I feel like I was probably just a very picky eater.
>.<
Doh!
So many years wasted of not trying food.
Anyway, I've never really enjoy apples until now because of that.
I feel like being picky really held me back.
Not only in food though...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
But how do you eat your apples?
If it's just an average apple, I'll keep eating chunks out of it.
However, if it's a really good apple, I'll only bite chunks out of one half of the apple. Then, on the other half, I'll only eat the skin first. Ha.
Because I save the best for last. >_<
It's a habit for me to do that. o_o
Yeap yeap.
Learning new random things about me every day.
Also, I need to freeze some grapes tomorrow and eat them.
Ahaha, yeah...
But I did enjoy them.
My family would buy watermelon and I'd dip the slices in a spicy salt.
I'd also dip strawberries in sugar.
....
Things have changed.
I crave fruit so much now, whether it's bananas or apples!!!
Did you know that I just ate an apple normally (biting and eating it as is) for the first time a few days ago?!?!
Isn't that crazy???
Well, let me tell you why.
I'm pretty sure I convinced myself as a kid that I was allergic to 99% of things in the world,
but now that I'm older
I feel like I was probably just a very picky eater.
>.<
Doh!
So many years wasted of not trying food.
Anyway, I've never really enjoy apples until now because of that.
I feel like being picky really held me back.
Not only in food though...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
But how do you eat your apples?
If it's just an average apple, I'll keep eating chunks out of it.
However, if it's a really good apple, I'll only bite chunks out of one half of the apple. Then, on the other half, I'll only eat the skin first. Ha.
Because I save the best for last. >_<
It's a habit for me to do that. o_o
Yeap yeap.
Learning new random things about me every day.
Also, I need to freeze some grapes tomorrow and eat them.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Totally just remembered
I used to love performing monologues...
I started in 5th grade.
In middle school I acted a lot, then not so much in high school.
In high school I did perform a lot of monologues in English class. I also took drama.
Eh, never mind. This is a pretty boring topic.
But I have to tell you, my best monologue performance EVER was in front of some Disney agents when I was 14. It was about some sad, depressed child in denial that her parents were getting the divorce. She was blaming herself and trying to figure out why.. maybe even how she could save their relationship. The beginning was very innocent and chipper but as the monologue goes on the audience begins to feel sad for the child (or me, the one acting!) when she reaches her main points, breaks down and cries.
Man, I had tears running and everything. I'm so good.
Bwahaha.
That is all. <3
I started in 5th grade.
In middle school I acted a lot, then not so much in high school.
In high school I did perform a lot of monologues in English class. I also took drama.
Eh, never mind. This is a pretty boring topic.
But I have to tell you, my best monologue performance EVER was in front of some Disney agents when I was 14. It was about some sad, depressed child in denial that her parents were getting the divorce. She was blaming herself and trying to figure out why.. maybe even how she could save their relationship. The beginning was very innocent and chipper but as the monologue goes on the audience begins to feel sad for the child (or me, the one acting!) when she reaches her main points, breaks down and cries.
Man, I had tears running and everything. I'm so good.
Bwahaha.
That is all. <3
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Conflicted
I may want to make a birthday wishlist........................................................
I haven't decided.
It's just...
there are so many CDs I want
and my birthday seems like the opportune moment
to get them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:X
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think I'll just post one up on my Facebook notes so my family can see.
Ha.
I haven't decided.
It's just...
there are so many CDs I want
and my birthday seems like the opportune moment
to get them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:X
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think I'll just post one up on my Facebook notes so my family can see.
Ha.
July 6th
*smile*
So I looked up how much a ticket leaving for Spain on December 10th would be and one returning to Orlando on January 7th... It's about $900 total.
I haven't decided how much money I'm going to need, yet, or when I'll buy the tickets.
I'm probably going to go alone.
I mean, I can't really think of anyone else who has time or money. Ha.
I've never traveled outside the U.S.
...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
July 28th I shall attend this massive Jesus camp (SAVE ME!!!) with hundreds of other Viet kids across the nation.
Then, next week I will attend a MASSIVE Vietnamese Catholic pilgrimage (thousandssss of Viet people basically set up a village in Carthage, Missouri).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm pretty pissed that everyone canceled the road trip on me. Everyone bought plane tickets because they're cheaper, but that's not the point!!!! *le sigh*
Fortunately for me though, that means I can save my money. Yayyyy.
Still, still. I'm not sure how much I want to earn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So I have 34 cousins.
And I do have a favorite. :X
I'm the oldest cousin in Florida and all the kids here basically look up to me.
Except I'm sort of a confusing role model. >_<
Yeah, I'm pretty smart. 1400 on my SATs, scholarships for UCF, IQ of 160 (like Einstein!!!), can play a few instruments, in love with chemistry, president of many extracurricular activities... just all the stuff that looks good on paper.
However, I'm such a terrible daughter!!! Even I know that. I mean, in my head, I really wouldn't mind having a girl like me. Haha. I'm so stubborn and augmentative because my opinion differs so much!
I have a cousin named Elizabeth whose Vietnamese name is Nhi because my family wanted her to turn out like me... Now they wish her name is Han like my sister's. xD
I used to be my family's favorite!!! Until I turned 13. :X
Let's see.
Oh yeah, Alex.
He's my favorite cousin out of all of them.
He's quite the annoying one too.
He's the only mixed grandchild, and he looks very white. His dad left before he was born.
I feel like he's always misunderstood and mistreated by the family, so I try my best to take care of him.
He's only 11 now, but he's as tall as me!!! Freaking crazy. I remember carrying him when he was a baby... and I dropped him a few times... and accidentally walked him into a table where he got a black eye. BUT he was the cutest baby ever!
Yeah, he's my favorite. I always get mad at the rest of my family when they treat him unfairly and I try to protect him from the rest of my cousins.
He's quite musically inclined, I wish I could find a way to help him. I think I'll probably buy him a guitar. You know, he could play Fur Elise by ear when he was 8 on the piano, but my darn family won't ever let him practice because it's too loud and he doesn't even know how to play anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did I mention that I plan to attend my first slumber party on my 18th birthday?
My friend, Adeline, tells me I haven't experienced a lot of what American kids usually do so we'll have to figure out a lot of firsts for me to do.
My 15th, 16th and 17th birthdays were forgotten by my family, but that's all right because it's not like they were significant years or anything. Well, "Sweet Sixteen", but that doesn't matter.
15th birthday: My family was too preoccupied with the hurricane that canceled school that day.
16th: Some of my family was out on vacation, so I had to house sit (with a dog and multiple fish tanks). I was alone in that house so that's probably why they forgot that year.
17th: My birthday happened to be on the same day as UCF's freshman orientation, so I was gone for the weekend and I'm not sure if my family remembered and wanted to do something after I came back.
I'm pretty sure this is why my family keeps forgetting how old I am. They usually think I'm around 14 or 15... Ha.
Then again, it's very difficult to remember birthdays with the large number of people in my family. Also, everyone has Facebook now! No way they can forget. ^_^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I really enjoy eating fruit. What a luxury!
To bite into something so fresh and cool... so sweet.
MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmMMMMmmmMMMMMmm....
Fruit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have too many plans on my mind!!! Did I tell you my dad liked one of my songs? He said it could be a hit. Bwahaha. Yeah, I kind of felt proud. It was shoddily recorded on my laptop and is just me singing while playing the guitar. He played it several times at the clinic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I enjoy sleeping diagonally on my California king size bed. I got this bed about three years ago when my family moved into this bigger house in Florida.
It takes up about 80% of my room.
I also have two electric guitars here, one bass guitar, one acoustic guitar, two amps and a keyboard.
One stereo CD player. I love it! I swear, you can hear music from outside when I turn the volume halfway up. The sound is so crisp and clear too, if you know what I mean.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will write a poem about things I like tomorrow, but for now, I shall be lazy and attempt to socialize with fictional friends online.
And I bid thee adieu.
So I looked up how much a ticket leaving for Spain on December 10th would be and one returning to Orlando on January 7th... It's about $900 total.
I haven't decided how much money I'm going to need, yet, or when I'll buy the tickets.
I'm probably going to go alone.
I mean, I can't really think of anyone else who has time or money. Ha.
I've never traveled outside the U.S.
...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
July 28th I shall attend this massive Jesus camp (SAVE ME!!!) with hundreds of other Viet kids across the nation.
Then, next week I will attend a MASSIVE Vietnamese Catholic pilgrimage (thousandssss of Viet people basically set up a village in Carthage, Missouri).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm pretty pissed that everyone canceled the road trip on me. Everyone bought plane tickets because they're cheaper, but that's not the point!!!! *le sigh*
Fortunately for me though, that means I can save my money. Yayyyy.
Still, still. I'm not sure how much I want to earn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So I have 34 cousins.
And I do have a favorite. :X
I'm the oldest cousin in Florida and all the kids here basically look up to me.
Except I'm sort of a confusing role model. >_<
Yeah, I'm pretty smart. 1400 on my SATs, scholarships for UCF, IQ of 160 (like Einstein!!!), can play a few instruments, in love with chemistry, president of many extracurricular activities... just all the stuff that looks good on paper.
However, I'm such a terrible daughter!!! Even I know that. I mean, in my head, I really wouldn't mind having a girl like me. Haha. I'm so stubborn and augmentative because my opinion differs so much!
I have a cousin named Elizabeth whose Vietnamese name is Nhi because my family wanted her to turn out like me... Now they wish her name is Han like my sister's. xD
I used to be my family's favorite!!! Until I turned 13. :X
Let's see.
Oh yeah, Alex.
He's my favorite cousin out of all of them.
He's quite the annoying one too.
He's the only mixed grandchild, and he looks very white. His dad left before he was born.
I feel like he's always misunderstood and mistreated by the family, so I try my best to take care of him.
He's only 11 now, but he's as tall as me!!! Freaking crazy. I remember carrying him when he was a baby... and I dropped him a few times... and accidentally walked him into a table where he got a black eye. BUT he was the cutest baby ever!
Yeah, he's my favorite. I always get mad at the rest of my family when they treat him unfairly and I try to protect him from the rest of my cousins.
He's quite musically inclined, I wish I could find a way to help him. I think I'll probably buy him a guitar. You know, he could play Fur Elise by ear when he was 8 on the piano, but my darn family won't ever let him practice because it's too loud and he doesn't even know how to play anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did I mention that I plan to attend my first slumber party on my 18th birthday?
My friend, Adeline, tells me I haven't experienced a lot of what American kids usually do so we'll have to figure out a lot of firsts for me to do.
My 15th, 16th and 17th birthdays were forgotten by my family, but that's all right because it's not like they were significant years or anything. Well, "Sweet Sixteen", but that doesn't matter.
15th birthday: My family was too preoccupied with the hurricane that canceled school that day.
16th: Some of my family was out on vacation, so I had to house sit (with a dog and multiple fish tanks). I was alone in that house so that's probably why they forgot that year.
17th: My birthday happened to be on the same day as UCF's freshman orientation, so I was gone for the weekend and I'm not sure if my family remembered and wanted to do something after I came back.
I'm pretty sure this is why my family keeps forgetting how old I am. They usually think I'm around 14 or 15... Ha.
Then again, it's very difficult to remember birthdays with the large number of people in my family. Also, everyone has Facebook now! No way they can forget. ^_^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I really enjoy eating fruit. What a luxury!
To bite into something so fresh and cool... so sweet.
MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmMMMMmmmMMMMMmm....
Fruit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have too many plans on my mind!!! Did I tell you my dad liked one of my songs? He said it could be a hit. Bwahaha. Yeah, I kind of felt proud. It was shoddily recorded on my laptop and is just me singing while playing the guitar. He played it several times at the clinic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I enjoy sleeping diagonally on my California king size bed. I got this bed about three years ago when my family moved into this bigger house in Florida.
It takes up about 80% of my room.
I also have two electric guitars here, one bass guitar, one acoustic guitar, two amps and a keyboard.
One stereo CD player. I love it! I swear, you can hear music from outside when I turn the volume halfway up. The sound is so crisp and clear too, if you know what I mean.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will write a poem about things I like tomorrow, but for now, I shall be lazy and attempt to socialize with fictional friends online.
And I bid thee adieu.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Day before Independence Day
I am looking and feeling fannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntastic!!!
Seriously.
At a bbq block party thing now.
Have successfully mingled, for I exude confidence.
Installing Ubuntu on three laptops today.
Isn't that interesting?
My hair is falling down perfectly.
I love cotton blouses. <3
So cool and comfortable. I'm not really a fan of tight clothes, ekspecially in the summer.
Ahaha.
I just had to.
Seriously.
At a bbq block party thing now.
Have successfully mingled, for I exude confidence.
Installing Ubuntu on three laptops today.
Isn't that interesting?
My hair is falling down perfectly.
I love cotton blouses. <3
So cool and comfortable. I'm not really a fan of tight clothes, ekspecially in the summer.
Ahaha.
I just had to.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Um...
I hate words that easily rhyme...
Well, I don't really hate them... but it seems like that's the best fit word.
I try to avoid them in poems,
but not so much songs.
I don't care about songs.
You get additional feeling from the music.
But in poems.
It's all about the words.
And if the word rhymes easily.
It's probably used often.
And all the other rhymes are predictable.
I don't want to be predictable.
Most of the time anyway.
So yeah.
Rawr.
Em yeu, em yeu, em yeu.
M ew, M ew, M ew.
That's what it sounds like.
Well, I don't really hate them... but it seems like that's the best fit word.
I try to avoid them in poems,
but not so much songs.
I don't care about songs.
You get additional feeling from the music.
But in poems.
It's all about the words.
And if the word rhymes easily.
It's probably used often.
And all the other rhymes are predictable.
I don't want to be predictable.
Most of the time anyway.
So yeah.
Rawr.
Em yeu, em yeu, em yeu.
M ew, M ew, M ew.
That's what it sounds like.
Nonsensical improvised song
Oh bare, old boy, I thought you were the one all along
But it seems like all these years have been wrong
Why couldn't I deal with Mr. Right
Instead I gave in to him the first night
He called me over with soft lips
And swung me over from my hips
I should have known that man of sin
would never in his day let me win
I fought all along, but I was wrong
Who lied and told me I was strong
That man of his with _____ eyes
Was so persistent in my demise
I wish those steps weren't carefully taken
I should have know I was mistaken
Oh boy, you've seen to killed me now
With a bitter heart oh so foul
As a ghoul would have in the dark
I fell in love from the start
I hate the past and all I show
If only the brain was such a foe
Call me mad I've fallen down
Yet cannot scream with all this sound
That boy I love will never come back
It's not happiness that I lack
I just miss the comfort of ease
and something else that nobody sees
a;klwejfla;wkejfal;wkefj
Dear diary,
I love you very much.
Let me take this time to thank you for quietly listening to me rant and comforting me when I'm angry.
Thank you for not trying to correct all of my mistakes and allowing me to decide my own fate (I feel like a human again because of you).
Thank you for not judging me.
...........................................
So anyway, let me just angrily rant to you.
I apologize, I do not mean to burden you with my problems.
I've had a rough day today. I really do not ever wish to have a job I hate.
I've had a lot happen...
I think...
I need a break first before I rant.
All I can think about now is 1. the person who drove me crazy, 2. now everyone else is making me mad and 3. I am not my normal self now. Ha.
With all the love in the world,
Nhi
<3
I love you very much.
Let me take this time to thank you for quietly listening to me rant and comforting me when I'm angry.
Thank you for not trying to correct all of my mistakes and allowing me to decide my own fate (I feel like a human again because of you).
Thank you for not judging me.
...........................................
So anyway, let me just angrily rant to you.
I apologize, I do not mean to burden you with my problems.
I've had a rough day today. I really do not ever wish to have a job I hate.
I've had a lot happen...
I think...
I need a break first before I rant.
All I can think about now is 1. the person who drove me crazy, 2. now everyone else is making me mad and 3. I am not my normal self now. Ha.
With all the love in the world,
Nhi
<3
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