The oddest thing ever

So I've been listening to idoser to sleep for a while now, maybe a few nights

not to get high or anything, but it's just white noise

it's like I'm taking a break from music

...

anyway, I decided to listen to Lucid Dream today

none of the "doses" I've listened to before ever worked

I've heard Lucid Dream before too

But tonight was different...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So here I am lying in bed

I have my headphones on and put the volume up to 150%

these are really crappy headphones, but they go over my ears and serve its purpose

I start playing the dose

I close my eyes and place a pillow on my head

just over my eyes though so I can still breathe with my nose

I start trying to fall asleep and am thinking about random things

then I start remembering random things, no big deal

and I open my eyes

it feels really weird, just staring into the darkness

I begin thinking to myself, "Is this dose starting to work?..."

I pull the pillow case further down my nose so the darkness covers my eyes about 98%

so I squint in order to stare at complete darkness

and it's strange

a very strange feeling, listening to this dose as well, I can hear it

and suddenly the memories I'm having

seem a bit more real

and I start to replay an event in my head, kind of like a movie

It's a good memory very dear to me...

It seems so real, I can remember so many details. I can see everything.

As this event is going on I'm still staring into the darkness

the dose is just playing in the background as I hear the voices

but for some reason I can't remember anything I've said in this event I'm playing in my mind

it's probably because I didn't say much if anything at all that night

and as I'm nearing the end of this memory

I reach the kissing scene of this movie in my mind

and suddenly

kisses

lots of kisses

lots of scenes

at nighttime

during the day

early morning

or late afternoon

I'm remembering them all!

so clear

and in order chronologically too

it's just like my brain is skipping forward through all of my memories and only playing these parts

it takes my breath away how vivid this was

it doesn't feel real

are these actual memories from my mind?

Yes, it must be. I KNOW they happened...

but it doesn't feel like it.

I'm thinking all of this while I keep remembering

and start feeling sad seeing all of this and knowing that this is all in the past

They were so sweet

I was so happy in those instances

What happened?

and then I take off my headphones

and throw the pillow off my face

I don't want to listen to the rest of this dose

I want to sleep silently tonight

It was such a strange feeling