I think I'm repulsed by any physically interaction with a boy 99% of the time now.

It used to be 90.

It used to be not at all.

It used be 20.

How sad that is for me

I'm not sure if you noticed

that a lot of guys want to touch me

whether it's holding hands

a hug

a kiss

or more

but lately I've developed a bad habit of just freezing up

and getting scared

but I guess it's just because out of the four boys who I let like me this year

three were creeps

and I keep telling myself never again

ha.

I've never been raped.

I'm just scared

maybe I just don't know...

I don't know, I just don't like being touched by boys anymore

and it's sad because I want to be

maybe one day again, by the right guy

I won't flinch when he grabs my hand to turn me around

as I walk away from him

...