This is weird

I'm growing distant toward this person I've been obsessed with for over a year

I just don't have enough time

or ideas.

All one has to hold onto of me are sweet, sweet shared memories and some grossly skewed sensation of my kindness. I'm sure.

I've reached a point where I either need to find a better role model or be happy that I've become who I wanted to be

Since I don't feel finished yet

(come on, I'm 18. No way I'm done growing up yet.)

I think I should look up to other people

I doubt I'll find anyone as great though

Damn eloquence and beautiful words!

My easily swayed mind has trapped me

Won't anyone else try to persuade me?

...

My kindness

I'm sure I'm remembered as that girl who puts in quarters to save people from tickets

or that girl who buys people cigarettes

or that girl who buys people food

or that girl who gives random strangers car rides to work

or that girl who takes her time to teach someone

or that girl who will listen and actually understand...

All of those or's should be and's

Hm.

I'm not just all of those things though

Nope

I'm not just that girl

I'm "an attractive Asian girl"

of course I giggled.

me: I'm pretty good at Magic

11:22 AM X: Who can genuinely enjoy herself at the activity in discussion

  You're a fucking gold mine

11:23 AM Nerds fall in love with you at first sight

  Not that I think those are your only merits

 me: And then I beat them

 X: They're by far your least good ones

  But come on

11:24 AM Of course