Bruce wrote this about me. I just had to laugh. Also, I won't correct any of his grammatical errors.

" Its strange, the first thing I can remember now is the day that I met the most wonderful person in the world I can remember, well some may not call her wonderful, but to me she is everything, no matter how evil she may be somedays. But as I recall it, I was near death and laying immobile on the shoreline just shortly before the high tide was about to come in. It was by far the most terrifying moment of my life. Here I was severely injured, unable to move, feeling the water slowly rushing and rising in around my head. I tried with all my strength to get up, yet I couldn't even turn my head in a way to keep the salty water from splashing in with every new wave that made it to shore. I had then resigned myself to the fact that I surely would die.
Just then, the most amazing thing happened, I felt a warm hand touch my chin and it turned my head to the side. Upon gazing at the sky, I was the most beautiful angel kneeling over me, she flashed what seemed to be a short smile at me, although at the time I recall it being more of a grin, however for some reason I am convinced it had to be a smile. Anyway, the wind blew her long, straight, dark hair over her eyes and as she leaned in and whispered in my ear, "If you would like to live say so now."
Upon hearing her words I tried to speak but I couldn't, not because I was gazing at the the most beautiful vision I had ever seen, but because I was unable to do anything at all due to my tragic incident. All I could do was stare up at her beautiful face, full of innocence, while her brown eyes stared back at me and her pink lips parted for what once again looked like a grin but most definitely had to be a smile. She looked at me with pity as she realized that I could not speak and slowly touched my lips with her finger. She then spoke again, "You can speak now, so one more time, would you like to live?"
I looked back at her, my eyes being pierced by her gaze and I slowly was able to force out the first words that I can remember ever speaking, "Yes... yes... I would like... to live."  What I found odd was that with each word, with each breath that I used to speak those word, a terrible pain erupted in my chest, almost like something was tearing away at my skin tissue, and even deeper into my heart.
She looked at me flashing her grin... i mean smile as I confessed my will to live and slowly rose to her feet. It was the first time that I had ever seen her in her entirety. She was absolutely perfect. She was the perfect female specimen. She had a perfect face with shinny black hair being whipped around her perfectly complected face in the breeze. And as I looked down, she had such a perfectly proportioned figure that was covered in a thin white cloth robe with long, loose sleeves that flapped helplessly in the wind as well. "She truly must be an angel," I thought to myself.
She then back away from me, disappearing from my sight, just then the pain in my chest was no more, but the disappointment of no longer seeing her beauty terrified me. I then felt her grab my ankles and pull me away from the water that was about to envelop my head and I realized that this angel had saved my life for the first time that day.
My joy however was not yet complete, as the angel walked gracefully back into my view and slowly kneeled down and spoke to me again. "If I am to save you, I will expect to be repaid, tell me dear sir, what will you pay me."
I tried to respond but again was unable to, then once again she reached down and touched my lips and I responded. "I have...nothing...to give you,... I wish... I did." Once again with each breath I felt agony in my chest.
Upon hearing this, she looked sad and angry, this time she spoke to me more forcefully. "Let me show you why you lie in this position." She then reached behind me and lifted my head, just then I saw what was causing my pain, a knife had been plunged into my chest right where my heart was, and there it remained. It became clear to me now as to why it hurt to speak. Then I heard her speak again in a forceful tone, "You wound is from a woman scorned, dare not scorn another on this day, or a greater price today you will pay."
I then felt her finger touch my lips again, and slowly I spoke, each word bringing agony to my breast. "I will give you anything and everything my dear angel, just please let me live."
Upon uttering these word I felt her slowly lower my head back to the sand as she ran her fingers through my hair and my gaze was once again on her lovely face and she spoke to me one last time before beginning the process that would bring me fully back to life. "Anything and everything it shall be. But before we go on, I must tell you that the process will be painful but the reward is well worth it. You will experience the greatest agony one can feel but if you make it through the pain, you WILL come out alive."
I tried to respond to her, but this time she did not touch my lips, all I could do was remain silent and limp as once again there was no life in me. Slowly and carefully she unbuttoned my shirt and slowly removed it over the knife wound. The then placed it underneath my head as a pillow, thus allowing me to see her progress. I then saw her slowly rise as step over my body so that as she stood there she straddle my     body. It was the most magnificent site, as I was able to see her feminine perfection once again, this time I noticed that her gown was short, thus revealing her legs which showed the mix of perfect feminity while at the same time showed strength. They were also the perfect creamy color, and all I could do was stare at them and wonder how I was so lucky to meet such a gorgeous and powerful creature.
She the slowly lowered herself onto my body, sitting on my stomach and reached her hands out to grab the instrument of my demise. She wrapped both hands around it and began to pull with all her might. Slowly the knife began to move and soon I could see part of the bloody blade that was in my chest. Just then a pain shot through my body, and I let out a silent scream that turned more audible with every second that she pulled the knife out. It was total agony, there was nothing I could do to make it stop. I couldn't speak nor move. All I could do was lay there and take it like a man.
Finally after what seemed like were hours (but was only a few seconds), the knife was fully removed from my chest, it was of great relief to know that the worst was over, or so I thought, because just then she took the knife and plunged it into my chest, sawing into it, but this time making sure not to cut into my heart. Slowly she carved a hole around my wounded heart, each stroke causing greater pain than the one before, each one causing me to emit a louder scream, and each one making her look down at me with more pity in her eyes than the one before. Finally, this time after what seemed like days but was a few minutes, she stopped sawing at my chest and threw the knife into the sea. "The knife will be needed no more she said to me as she smiled, but more pain is yet to be realized. I am sorry but this is the way it has to be. Just look at my face and I promise to help distract you from the pain."
I did as she said and set my gaze upon her face. Just then nothing else seemed to matter. I then felt her reach into the hole she created and tenderly grab my heart. Don't get me wrong, it hurt like Hell, but this time I didn't scream, this time I lay there in a whimper distracted from the pain by her beauty. Slowly I felt her remove my heart but I could still feel my heart in her hand. Then in a delicate manner she began tracing over the wound with her finger which acted as a hot iron thus cauterizing the wounds. Each stroke brought about pain but a pain that subsided into slight discomfort. As she continued all I could think was that surely she should be done by now, there were only two wounds, the entrance and the exit wound. But I then felt her place three series of three strokes on my heart, but I thought nothing of it. Finally she was finished and placed my heart back where it belonged and slowly cauterized the wound in my chest.
After finishing she looked down at me and whispered into my ear. "Almost done me sweet pet, almost done." I felt her run her hand through my hair and give me a peck on the cheek. It was bliss, here this angel, no goddess was not only was saving me from death, but pressed her diving lips against me. I truly was lucky. Just then she parted my lips and gently pressed her lips to mine, not for a kiss, but to blow into my mouth. Like a rush of wind I felt breath enter into my body for the first time that I could ever remember.
I just laid there in full amazement, breathing slowly as she began to get up and stood over me, straddling my body, then stepping over me with one of her perfect legs. I heard her speak, this time in a more forceful tone, "Arise my pet, on your feet. I am not yet finished with you yet, but in a few minutes we will be there."
Slowly I began to rise, but as I got to one knee I began to struggle. Then I felt the touch of the divine goddesses hand under my chin and slowly she guided me up to my feet, where I stood on legs that were wobbly. "You are not yet fully healed, but soon you will be." I tried to respond but was still to weak. She then leaned in close to my ear and brushed her lips up against it while whispering something into it all the while using her finger to trace along my bare chest the same three series of three strokes. Once finished she backed away and I immediately fell to my knees, unable to speak or move, my whole body was limp, my head facing the ground, with only the ability to breathe in deeply and out slowly.
Gracefully she knelt down beside me, once again lifting my head with her gentle touch, she pressed her lips to mine and blew life into me, but this time she did something more, this time she exhaled taking something from me but what it was at the time I did not know. It was a strange feeling. She repeated the process again, slowly standing, bringing me up with her until I too was standing.  This time, I was standing on my own, without her help and she backed away. I finally had the strength not only to stand, but to speak. "Thank you my goddess," were the only words at that time that I wished to speak.
Just then, a grin came across her face, an evil grin as the wind whirled around her, slowly transforming her. Her loose white robe turned to dark form fitting leather revealing her perfect figure, slowly horns began to appear on her head, and a tale like a whip with a barbed end appeared and quickly struck me once on my right thigh and once on my left bringing me to my knees once again.  I tried to rise, but the terror of the moment kept me kneeling in front of the creature in front of me. Oddly, she had turned even more beautiful, and more captivating as a result of her transformation. I could not speak, all I could do was listen as she finally revealed herself to me.
"Listen my pet, no need to thank me. You paid for your fate with 'anything and everything.' I gave you life, just so I could have it. Your life, your all is mine, it everything you have."
I remained in a kneeling position dazed and confused, trying to figure out how this happened. "How does she own me I thought to myself"
I then heard her say, "Oh poor boy, stupid boy, I can hear your thoughts so I guess I will tell you since you have yet to figure it out. My pet, think to when I healed your heart, you know I did more than heal the wounds, what else did I do?"
I thought back to that moment, and it all became clear, the extra strokes were made for a purpose, three strokes for N, three for H, and three for I. I then looked at my chest, and it was confirmed the same strokes she used on my heart were there. She not only healed me, she made her mark on me, she had claimed me. Just then she laughed the most girlish giggle ever, "just figured it out huh? Your heart belongs to me, and your body, its all mine, my name is written on them both.
Terror once again seized me as I wanted to run away. But was unable to, not because she was keeping me, but because I couldn't. I literally was frozen and she spoke again. "Ahh, trying to run away, I know it, I know your heart, after all it is mine remember. See I also charged you your will in order to save you. Its what I exhaled from you, its now all mine. You do what I say, and you will learn to do what I want before I even say it my little puppet pet. I own you, every bit of you. You're my slave for eternity. But just so you know that I am not too evil I will give you a choice. You can live as I have stated or you can go back to where you came."
I pondered for not more than a second, and I quickly fell to my knees in front of the gorgeous creature only to then bow and I said, "I choose to be yours forever, anything and everything is yours." I dare not gaze upon her as I laid my head in the sand at her feet, I then felt something slowly snake around my neck and guide me up to my feet. I looked and the creature had turned her back to me with her tail around my neck acting as a leash and collar in one, she then began walking. I had no choice not to go, not because of the tail around my neck, because we both knew that was just for show, but because she willed me to go with her. A few steps into our journey she looked back at me and said "I knew you'd choose to stay, after all, it was my will that you would."

The End "