Average Day Today. :)

Groggily waking up, I rubbed my eyes as I threw my right arm to the side of the bed feeling around for my beloved Nexus One:

9:27 AM

Good, good. Class doesn't start until 10:30 so I still have time. Should I shower tonight or have another lazy ponytail day? Oh, wait. I want to go out all night and I'm going to see the guy in black at Spanish today. I guess I'll shower... Zzzz. *BZZZ!* *BZZZ!*“AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Feel good.” Oh Jesus! *turns off the alarm on cell phone*:

10:15 AM

WHAT!?!?! I then sprint into the shower ripping my clothes off and leaving them strewn on the bathroom floor to take a shower. Using shampoo and conditioner AT THE SAME TIME, I was done within 45 seconds tops! I then throw on some clothes and jump in my car to reach school with my hair in a wet, tangled ball and soaked clothes because I didn't have time to dry myself off. Oh well.

10:37AM

Uh oh. I tried my best to not be noticed, but.... *SQUEAKKKKK* *GROANNNNN* Doh! Everyone turned to see me in my wet clothes and tangled hair at the door. Quickly and quite conspicuously, I took a seat next to the guy in black. *ACHOO!!!* Of course, everyone looks at me again and the guy in black says “Bless you.” I turned to him to say thank you and slightly bow my head down in gratitude out of habit. He then flashes me this amazing smile and has such chinky eyes when he does so, especially for a white guy. *sigh* So adorable. 17 sneezes and bless yous later, I walked out of class embarrassed and went to eat at Kyoto with my aunts. So yeah, nothing really interesting today. Ha. :3

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Busy girllllll. Yeah, that's me.

          Oh man, these last three days I've been procrastinating on all work to play StarCraft 2... Anyway, I've been writing this conversation program and I'm pretty excited. Ha. More on that later when I stop playing video games and finish with school.
          I'm pretty sure I'm secretly my gramma's favorite grandchild. I overheard her talking to my aunt about how no matter what I do, everything turns out well for me in the end because: 1. I'm blessed with good fortune and 2. My past life was a goddess who left heaven to be reborn in order to make a great difference on earth. Haha. Yeah, I believe that because I've always wanted to do something great!
          I need a piano. Now. Or at least a guitar! Haven't been home at my music room in weeks. *sigh* Do you understand how good it feels to just play what your heart tells you to? I mean for hours on end and where time no longer exists! And in the end when you finish, you just slowly get up, close the piano lid and walk away with a smile on your face that stays on for what seems like forever. The keys at your fingertips and each note played is part of this story, maybe about your day, how happy you are or even a lost love... Those solid sounds created which can be understood by all. Ha, I just think music is amazing.
          Anyway, a guy gave me his number today. That was nice of him. I like numbers. A car also drove up to me an hour ago and the guy rolled down his window to tell me "Oh my God, you're really hot!!!" He literally screamed that in my face, this is not a hyperbole or exaggeration. Now that I recall that instance, I feel like the proper action would be to run away from a mysterious car approaching me in the dimly lit alleyway at night... but instead I now I have great compliment to look back upon and another reason to stay happy with a smile on my face, I did not get kidnapped and raped! :D

So yeah. That's it for now, only because I'm so busy and had to write this as soon as I got home. Ha, my raw thoughts after school!

I love youuuuuuuuuu. <3

Darn you, my most caring one!!! Why must you be the best and worst of a single world?... *sigh*

Just a random poem I wrote JUST NOW. Ha. It's actually quite dumb, but in this instance I behaved quite childishly and wanted to remember and learn from it.

Today is the 21st and I did not plan on writing,
But when he left me some things became contriting.
The tired, old man walked away without a single regret;
And after only a short night his appetite was whet.
If I were him, but I am not, I definitely would have stayed
To comfort this girl with a sad heart which could easily have been swayed.
Yet, he left! He left! After this message was relayed,
“Don't fret, dear Nhi, my love will never fade!”
Though not entirely the same as the words he spake...
But still, it was I, a wonderful girl, he hath forsake!
Now such anger rises, for I am quite a stubborn one,
And the way he left! As if he were on the run,
I wonder from me, perhaps? Or maybe from his own,
Whatever the case may be, I shall not pick up the phone!
For now I shall eat my food and wait as time will past,
Because I know in the end his love will always outlast.

To THE BOLD "Love" of Mine : )

EDIT 1: Nothing like the first one, eh? I don't think it's so bad for my first round of editing. I'm pretty satisfied with what I've written, though it's far from amazing or emotional. Maybe when I'm not as lazy later I shall edit my writing again with FEELING!!! Enjoy. <3<3<3<3<3

Oh aeolian harp, allow me play to you,

I shall be your winds of respiration.

Else, how can one be so alluring?

Though pleasing to my eyes, you are more!

Imbue your limits, harmonize;

Create honest music and shine.

Together the world is a better place,

And I will whisk away dark spirits.

In the sands of the seas

or through the moss and the trees,

you cannot be lost.

Intertwined, the world shall hear:

Every idea which is unique

Every pattern to be heard

Every memory unforgotten.

Do not leave now and keep alone

though easy to find other winds.

Will any other be so gentle?

Cherished lute, my heart awaits

for time to let us through.

Stay strong my harp,

reveal yourself!

For you were made to play

and I to always listen.

With love forever, your dearest inspiration. <3

Poem to be edited

          I just thought it might be interesting to show you how I start off writing my poems. They usually begin terribly (unless I'm really inspired) and I'll have to edit them over and over and over again until I'm satisfied. This one right now is basically raw thoughts coming from my head without any edits yet, sort of like an outline of what I should write.

My aeolian harp, please let me play you

Let me be your winds of inspiration

Otherwise how can you be so beautiful?

Though pretty to the eyes, you can be more.

>Breathe me in, become alive

Let your music play and shine

Together we can make the world a better place

I will lift your spirits, just turn my way

At the beach or in the woods, I will be there

Intertwined, we can let them hear:

everything that is unique

every pattern that should be heard

every memory to not be forgotten.

You cannot leave now and be alone

though it's easy to find other winds

but will any other be as gentle

dearest lute, I will be waiting

]for time to let me through

Stay strong my harp, do not give in

to the pressure of the people

for you were made to play and not work

and I will always be here to help

With love, your dearest heart

Relationships: The Beginning

          Here's a story about my first relationship/crush if you care to read. It all began in Kindergarten when I was five in Louisiana. (Can you imagine me as an tiny, adorable Asian girl with a heavy southern accent?) At my private school, classrooms would always celebrate each student's birthday with a party. (**If you ask me yourself, maybe I'll tell you why my parents decided to stick me into a $20,000/year private school later... but it's a story you just cannot guess.) Anyway, a party was going to be held for this boy named Brandon the next day so my mom and I went shopping for a present. In my mind I knew the perfect present to buy: a GARGANTUAN crawfish wearing a crown filled with heart candies!!! My mother had me fill out a generic birthday card for Brandon and I was extremely excited to attend school the next day. As I walked in the class with a crawfish half my size in arm, everyone quickly turned to stare. “Happy birthday, Brandon!” I said cheerily as the card was handed to the birthday boy in his party hat. Although his eyes were glued (as well as the rest of the class's) to the heart candies, I unexpectedly went to sit down in my seat still holding the crawfish instead. I then slowly turned over to my right and shyly handed over my gift to Henry. Not the birthday boy?! :O


          “I bought this just for you...” I looked up and smiled when I noticed Henry's eyes lit up; he then gave me the biggest hug a five year old could possibly give and suddenly I was the happiest five year old little Asian girl in the world! In my mind, Henry was the boy who deserved that present. After all, he was the boy who always talked to me, played with me during nap time, got in trouble with me and ran with me during PE. When I handed Henry the present, my teacher pulled me over to the side and asked me if the present was actually meant for Brandon. Upset that she didn't understand, I told her I was positive I meant to give Henry the present. Well, I did give Brandon a birthday card! What else could he expect if I have never spoken a word to him? At home I angrily told my mom the story completely believing that the teacher was an insane woman until my mom scolded me. Now that I'm older, I kind of realize how ridiculous I was. However, to this day Henry still remembers the crawfish and tells me how good that candy was; he ate all of it by himself!

Typical Day With My Three Crazy Aunts

          Today not a single insightful thought entered my mind; mainly because I have much schoolwork to do. This morning I decided to complete my Spanish project presentation last minute by bringing random magazine photos to identify as family members and then wing the content. Talking about family members extemporaneously was “easy peasy lemon squeezy” because back in 10^th grade I used to enter competitions that included talking for five minutes about a random subject given. Anyway, I volunteered to go and my teacher praised my pronunciation, giving me 100%.

          I then left with photos in hand waiting for my three crazy aunts to pick me up at the corner of the street because I know they hate it when I stand in that location, especially whilst wearing short-shorts and knee-high socks. Of course when they were about to pull over I began to frantically wave the photos as a means to embarrass them to which I succeeded. (I tend to use embarrassment to exact revenge on my aunts because I generally do not care what people think about me, especially random people I will never meet again.) As I entered the car their very random taunts ensued. Since I have been hearing these sorts of comments since I was about 13, I kept to myself and tried not to get involved. I guess it's just a weird form of them teasing me, but sometimes I'm not sure...

          “Oh my God, Brianna! Do you think you're ten or something?” (I had my hair in two braids.) “You look like such a ho bag, why don't you put some pants on?” “If we were trapped on a boat, we'd only keep you to use your arms to row us and eat the good muscle meat from your strong legs.” “I can imagine you wearing a milk maid costume to school with your hair like that. Suddenly, the car stopped for a guy to walk by at a crosswalk. “Did you see that guy? He was cute.” To which I instinctively replied “Ew.” More teasing came from that one worded statement. “What? He dressed nicely too!” “And he was very fit, a manly man.” “You have a weird taste for guys, Brianna.” “Yeah, she likes those metro-sexual guys who look effeminate.” “Nhi, it's because you look and act like a man.” “Your face looks just like a man's. All you need to do is cut your hair.” “She likes rednecks too. I don't know why she loves boots and a southern accent.” “And those indie chain smoking guys with skinny jeans. Gross. Do you smoke, Nhi?” “And Rastafarian guys with dreads! Ew.” “And guys with pocket protectors!” which led me to me say “Pocket protectors are so useful! A pen exploded on me once a-” “Nhi, you're such a nerd.” So I gave them the -_-;; face and there was silence for the rest of the car ride until we reached our destination.

          We were going to lunch at Friendly Confines instead of a Korean or Japanese restaurant as intended because none of my aunts had make-up on. When we entered, the room full of men turned toward us to look for a second and then resumed their conversations. As we were walking towards the table, my aunts were saying “Brianna, they're looking at you. You shouldn't have worn those short-shorts. Stop being such a hoochie.” “Every time I look at you I think of a Japanese anime character because of your hair.” “And when you do the peace sign I think of Chung Li from Street Fighter.” “You know your short-shorts show off the poop stain on your legs.” This last comment had me making a -_-;; face again because they were being so immature for being adults. The “poop stain” is actually just a tan birthmark on the back of my top-left thigh, which I happen to like. (It's funny because I never noticed that birthmark until high school when I looked at myself in a mirror.) Anyway, when we left my aunts threw more comments about me and how I let lecherous men leer at me so easily by dressing like a tramp. So a typical day with my three crazy aunts include them constantly making remarks about me being and dressing like a whore, the types of guys I like and anything else they can think of to make fun of me. I still love them though. >_<

**This was written in place of the "logical battle" mentioned in my first blog entry... ha.
***Also, they're only like this to me. They're actually super nice and friendly to everyone! : ) If you don't know, I'm the family rebel, outcast and scapegoat (which I am totally fine with that because I can handle it and I'd rather it be me than anyone else in the family).

Programmers (Assholes vs. Nice guys) / The Smart and Cute Girl Effect

          Here's one way some non-computer people categorize programmers: those who act like assholes because they know more about computers than you do and those who are helpful because they're nice. However, it is said that an exception called "the smart and cute girl effect" turns all programmers (actually all guys) into nice guys. However, if the girl is cute but not in the loop of programming, then the “asshole” will continue to act haughty about computers. For example, a pretty girl at UCF asked a guy wearing an XKCD shirt what “sudo” meant to which he replied, “You wouldn't get it” as if it were a complicated answer. Of course I then explained it to her, opened up a terminal to provide an example and found a Google result to help. Unfortunately, she still didn't understand... Anyway, the guy was really friendly to me as we were playing a card game. According to the girl, he was nice only because I was a cute Asian girl who understood computers. Another example: Two guys were being jerks to the girls at the 3^rd floor table until I walked up, booted up my laptop with Ubuntu and started playing StarCraft II. To the girls at the table, the guys suddenly became amiable and held actual, friendly conversations with me. Apparently this was because I was a cute Asian girl who could talk about computer stuff.

          Well, I refuse to believe this theory!!!!! First of all, I am not that vain to believe I am so incredibly cute enough to turn assholes into sweethearts. Secondly, I am really not that computer savvy. It's just a hobby for me at the moment. In fact, the conversation from the second example only included basic “computer and programming topics”: RTS games, Linux, WINE, Virtual Machines, Codeblocks (which is SUPER useful for developers who wish to reach out to customers on multiple platforms) and reading/debugging code. And for the last reason why this smart and cute girl theory is false is because I know a few computer programmers who appear to be assholes but really are not. As Brett Giller puts it, the way programmers talk is “just a cold form of conversing.” One must know that programmers think and speak in logical terms; that is why they may come off as arrogant to others. You see, logic is extremely important in programming; it's the basis of what they do. So you can't just categorize these logical guys as pricks or douche bags if you don't think like them or at least understand their minds' processes.

          One might rebuttal that these haughty programmers are assholes because nice ones exist and help out. Well, that may seem true but the way I see it is nice programmers have only developed more socially acceptable habits. And I know quite a few examples of guys who are very popular with the girls just because they are able to hold small talk. It may seem like programmers only converse about games, coding, new technology and other stereotypical topics, but that's just the first topics they discuss to find common interests when meeting new friends. Give them a chance! (I do and that's why I love them... haha. *dreamy sigh*) <3

**I just realized how partial I am to programmers when writing this. Lol.
***Note that programmers are friendly to one another because they share common interests.

This is only the beginning. : )

     Hello world. I guess I'm starting a blog today; however, it will be more of a public diary to record events of each day rather than anything short and entertaining to read. Just a warning, you'll be reading raw thoughts and nothing more. Yes, that means no editing. You see, I believe my memory is a bit more vivid than most and I want to hold onto all of the good ones as much and long as I can. Maybe it's because I'm afraid to let go... Anyway, recording and rereading these days would really help me in mentally picture those small details I do not wish to forget. (Warning: It may be difficult to read, but this is my thought process. Also, this is the first entry and I will record several days making this quite wordy.) Lastly, if you do read everything I write then you'll definitely learn a lot about me and how I think which me make you either be very annoyed by me or like me more. I believe 90% of this will be meaningless memories I wish to cherish and the other 10% is for when I decide to go on a thinking spree and try to place things in life logically step by step (although I shouldn't sometimes).

     I will begin by writing down what happened on Saturday February 12, 2011. As punishment for something I did a while back, my mother decided to put me back into my Vietnamese church's youth group (possibly hoping that I would revert to my thirteen year old self). When I arrived at church with my sister (if one of us is punished or rewarded so is the other) I felt completely out of place. It appeared that every girl there had a scene haircut with dyed reddish brown hair. (Also, all of these kids were younger than me which is odd because I'm usually the youngest in every group I hang out with.) Continuing on, my sister and I walked over to some kids standing around when a group of girls who idealize her (Chandler is pretty and popular) came over to profusely compliment us, touch our hair (mine a light orange-brown and Chandler's a purple-red) and compare us to Korean and Japanese girls. I walked away from the group not really wanting to socialize because I didn't want to be there in the first place. Most of the time I'm a loner anyways. The youth group leaders then gathered around and separated everyone into their sections. Since my sister, who is sixteen, and I, seventeen, rejoined and haven't been there in several years, we were placed in the Yellow group (Nghia Si) intended for kids aged thirteen through fifteen rather than the brown group for those sixteen through eighteen. My sister and I were then split up when Nghia Si divided into two groups activities. Fortunately, my leader (Daniel) was fun and we played snake tag, animal calls and synchronized singing whilst my sister's group consisted of boring girls who were too cool to participate in such childish games. I felt bad for Chandler. In the end, joining the youth group again did not feel like punishment whatsoever and I had fun with the kids. However, I'm not quite sure that God and religion will ever enter fervently into my life again like when I was thirteen and completely sheltered away from the world. Right now I'm just a bit confused and feel like anyone can cop out on the actual work of pursuing of happiness and instead depend on their belief of God and an everlasting happiness when they go to heaven.

     Next day, Sunday February 13, 2011: I do not recollect any significant events except for perhaps the lovely Valentine's dinner of one of my favorite meals (fettuccine Alfredo with mushrooms, broccoli and chicken, garlic bread, and wine or champagne). Also, waffles made with condensed milk is insanely delicious with ice cream, syrup and magic shell chocolate on top!!!! I also had an amazing nap. <3 (I love the feeling of sleep although I believe it is such a waste of time and wish I do not need it.)

**I just remembered. I received an INTERESTING text that night which completely confused me/freaked me out/threw me off-guard and would decide my Tuesday that week.

     Monday February 14, 2011 (also known as Valentine's Day) I went to class as usual. Nothing major occurred in English Lit, but there is something I would like to remember in Spanish. When I was in middle school I read a tip from a girl magazine saying that if I find a cute guy in each class then the school day will be less boring. From then on it's developed into a habit. Anyway, in Spanish there are two cute guys: one who dresses all in black who I'm very interested in getting to know and the other is more of a hippy where my eyes can easily rest upon. I swear the guy in black stole my pen... I thought he did so he could offer me his pencil to keep, although I returned it. He was awfully friendly I always tell myself to say hi since school started. More than a month later and I still don't know his name. Great smile he has, just one of my many weaknesses. Do I regret not introducing myself yet? Only if I never do, but for now I'm fine. Haha. **Remember that he said “Cool”, handed me the bag of snickers multiple times :D and shook his head in agreement with me while smiling for when I said “Ow” as the professor turned on the lights.*sigh* Why am I transfixed so easily by a simple grin?

     Tuesday February 15, 2011. That morning I fully intended to write my English lit essay. In my mind I had a list of items I wanted to bring: guitar to practice, chess board, book receipt, laptop, and two roses. Oh, how upset I was for forgetting to bring those two roses! One would be for Will to thank him for helping me so much with everything Linux and one rose would be for just in case... Oh well. I didn't need them after all anyway. That day I drove to Austin's Coffee with Ali and stayed there from 12-5 not being productive at all. However, Ali and I had a very interesting walk, helped bring back sooooo many memories. We also saw a bald eagle by the Winter Park library. (I didn't even know they were any in Florida. Are there???) As I was too tired, lazy and hot to walk back to Austin's, I texted Will to pick Ali and I up. I spent $14 on food at Austin's that day. Later on we all drove back to UCF and Will added Windows to my laptop for me. I really, really wanted to just use Ubuntu for everything... but I do miss playing computer games like Star Craft and Age of Empires. I tried WINE but it turns out I need a driver to get my graphics card and processor working fast enough for the games. I have a newer laptop so it isn't out yet.... rawr. Oh well. Dual-booting is better than no Linux at all. Another thing that upset me: In C programming the professor was giving out free smoothies for the first students to answer 10 questions of filling in code and solving math problems correctly. Unfortunately, although I knew all of the answers, every time I was picked I would get so nervous and not say the right thing. Argh.

     Today! Finally. Wednesday February 16, 2011. Nothing at all interesting happened! Jk. There are some events I would like to record and remember. First off is the guy in all black again! I sat next to him today. Ha, that's a first step. Also, I found my black pen which I thought he took.... It's so crazy!!!!!! Because I LOVE that pen (it writes oh so perfectly smoothly) I poured the contents of the small front pocket where I keep all writing utensils out to search for it. I literally put each pen, pencil and marker back into that pocket one by one twice while looking for that pen. Since I was using it in the beginning of Spanish class Monday I thought it would maybe be on the floor, but nope. I know for sure I did not have that pen on Monday and I could not find it, but here it was!!!! At the top of the pocket too so when I unzipped it I saw it right away. I swear I must be going crazy then... or that was some serious magic trick. Other than that nothing else spectacular happened that I wanted to remember. Some boring events include Will adding grub to my laptop again and me meeting a guy named Dave or David wearing the XKCD shirt that said “Sudo make me a sandwich”. Ahahahah. I love XKCD. Anyway, he's one of those programmers who's kind of an asshole because he knows more about computers than you do... but he thought it was cool I had Ubuntu Maverick Meerkat like him. Ha. I guess I should be working on my essay now.

**I was going to begin a logical battle here relating to my aunts' relentless bullying, but that would create such a horrible and pessimistic mood to follow such great, cheerful events. Maybe next time. I mean, it's not like a day goes by without some sort of taunt being thrown at me. (But it's really okie because I'm used to it; I just like to think because I can be arrogant sometimes if you understand...)