I really don't consider myself to be a nerd.

Reading about lawyers on Reddit

the broad description of new, young lawyers make them sound really hot

willing to take a chance
actually fighting for justice
starving so they will do their best to win a case
resourceful
creative
open-minded

mm....

ha

and then the experienced lawyers all sound like typical douchebags -_-;;

ha

so yeah

maybe I'll be a lawyer.

I don't know

Man, I really do care about this Andrew kid. >_<

If you asked me a few months ago if I would really ever care about anyone

I would probably answer

or

hm...

well

just me and Kyle

Tommy's been a douche

orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

idk

*sigh*

I am so weird

Remember when I said that I didn't believe in love last year?

And Kyle was like "That's really weird for a 17 year old girl to say"

or something like that.

I don't know

I keep learning new things

Ugh

My mind

keeps changing

good videos always make me cry.

sometimes I want to marry a girl and raise a kid just to prove that I can do it

Take that, society!

then again.. I can do anything really

*sigh*

I'm bored

and tired

and procrastinating

and scared

Why did I start a relationship before my trip to Spain?

I am not a clever man.

I just wanted to use that meme.

*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

I didn't think I'd miss anyone while I was gone

but I was wrong. T________T

Man oh man oh man

I love it when plans are made for me to be spoiled

gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

dammit

ha

I am such a sucker

for fine wine, good food and the beach

of course I'll accept your offer!!!

Plus, the theater?

Geez oh geez oh geez.

......

All of these plans for when I return

mmmmm :)

I can't even describe how I feel

I must be bipolar.

I must be
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, Miami was nice

I like Andrew

I just....

I just don't know about Spain.

Here goes nothing I suppose

So worrisome

It's going to cause me so much trouble

But.... I mean I'll be fine.

I'm 18.

:/

People always forget how young I am.

Oh, random, but I am talking to my friend, Nick, and he just made me laugh

:

nwoll27: haha

  going to call it an early night?

  you'll feel better if you do :P

10:21 PM me: I might

  I'm just lying in bed now

 nwoll27: OH

  just got your facebook response to my message

 me: Being on the road for 5 hours was kinda tiring

10:22 PM nwoll27: i was going to tell you

  when i sent that message i decided to stalk you for a minute

  and i was reading that thread with your friend yazzy

10:23 PM and you told her to go travel, and she said she would if she had the money

  to which you said

  "Then work! It'll only take a few days to earn enough money for a plane ticket. That's all you need. I'm going to Spain next week...."

  i cannot tell you how incredibly attractive you were to me when i read that

  ahahaha

Close call.

Oh my God, I hate girly men

Jesus

I'm girly enough as is

I don't need my mind to be poisoned anymore

I've made enough irrational decisions in my life and it pains me to see you be stupid as well

I love you <3

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Man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man..............

ha.

I'm not ready to get in trouble again

so I won't say what I came here to say

DUN DUN DUN

How the hell do you do that?

You're so lazy, but it worked.........

I wonder if you're really smart

or experienced

or idk.

Hm................

Whatever.

Sometimes...

there are people who make me wanna cry

for good reasons

mm....

Thanks.

=/

For caring and being honest

I really like it

and needed it.

You are so important to me.

*sigh*

I just got a brilliant idea!!!!!!!!!!

I'll play Magic in Spain!!!!!

and find new friends

who play magic

:D

DAMMIT.

I just realized that I can't participate in another FNM before Spain

because I'll be at some dumb Jesus retreat thing.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat......

-_________-;;;

This pisses me off so much!

God

...

dammit.

ha

*sigh*

Whatever

I SHALL PLAY MAGIC IN SPAIN!!!

I once had an evil ex who would push me off the side of the bed and hold onto me as I hang onto his arm hopelessly.

ha

Random memory from reading a rage comic.

He'd pull me back up of course. He's not that much of a bastard.

Soon I can run away and breathe.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

the fresh air of Barcelona

I'll be dirty with my backpack on

looking for coffee shops or something

hola, me llamo nhi. estoy visitando espana. quieres ser mi amigo?

and then I will eventually learn spanish

and find random friends

and search for wi-fi

o_o

I'M SO EXCITED!

Om nom nom nom nom

I was going to write a post

about the lecture my dad gave me

It was pretty good

he's so good at logic and brainwashing

so good...

But I changed my mind

because my boyfriend's upset at me

and I don't know why

and it's really bothering me

because I don't like it

*sigh*

Oh, Jesus.

What a roller coaster of emotions

...

-_____________-;;

sad, sad, sad...

HAPPY!!!!!!!!!

In love

HAPPY!!!!!!!!

confused

angry

tired.

ha

Dang it. I did it again!

I let money affect how happy I am.

Ha

Whatever

-_<

>_<

=/

xD

I'm sorry, I love you

Just leave me alone to be 18 years old

I'm dumb and need to grow up

before I begin premature deterioration.

Of the soul that is

Imagine!

What is wrong with me being completely satisfied with my situation?

*sigh*

I am fine. I promise you, I know myself. I am fine and happy.

I am fine and happy

stop stressing me out

I don't care if I'm not going to be a millionaire

or whatever

Please stop worrying about me

and limiting my life

if I had a chance

I wouldn't have run away, would I?

What can I do

to not listen to everyone.

Please... be quiet.

Please

I need more fruit

Ever had that experience as a child where you would run away and hide trying your best not to hear adults argue?

Why is it so scary?

Well, let me tell you

I'm in a room now

with my music playing

so I don't have to listen

Good morning, world.

Attempting to ignore everyone

and it's not working

....

Everyone

is so frustrating

if I ever gossip

stop me

I'm tired

I don't want to be like this

I don't want to be closed-minded

a...

I....

great.

I love

something

bye

I am far from a gold digger

if you didn't realize

Drama, drama, drama

Didn't I tell myself I would try not to be involved in so much drama last year??

Of course I'm the one who causes it....

hahahaha

Ugh

So anyway

o_o

yeah

passport stuff

that's all

I think I should get my credit cards

how many

blah

....

hahh

I just figure

I'll be fine

No one understands me

that is false

....

I want to keep changing myself

so that no one understands me

why??

but that means

they know the person I am

ha

ever-changing

.

.

.

Why am I so typical in thought

but

different in actions

when compared to others?

Typical, typical teenage girl

I think the same as all of you

I really do

all of these words

Annoying.

Overly dramatized.

I'm no poet

I don't think anymore deeply than others

I'm shallow

but

I still do things differently

I'm still unique

How is this possible?

All too much.

ha

All I want is my passport

I'll pay any amount

(almost)

to leave

.

I'm not rich

grawr

but

I'm not going to be poor

Hm.

In the future

Yes, I am poor now

ha

whatever.

Time to shower.

Fuck people you can't depend on

fuck it

fuck it all

fuck people you're supposed to trust

and

and

......

God dammit, this is why I'm so alone

I am so tired of going out.

I just want to seclude myself for 1-3 days

and not talk to anyone

...

I really don't want to talk to anyone

but feel kinda obligated

to let some people know what's going

(It's just me mostly doing my homework and sleeping)

I am not quite that repressed Catholic girl who's insane

but I will warn you

that school stresses me out -_-;;

I promise

that's the only time I'm difficult to deal with

.....

yeah, I think so

that's really the only time.

After drinking some soda

I realize

it's been a year

over a year now...
..
..

...
..
.
...

:(

:)

O_O

D:

n________n

:(

:/

>:(

:D

<3

:/

:)

:|

:|

:|

:T

alright

I'll smile

but whatever

:]

this exact time last year

was weird

at this hour

Nhi, stop thinking now

go to sleep

Okay

how many times have you been so hungry that it stopped hurting?

he also (he as in Andrew) told me that the more he got to know me the more he liked me

that was nice

and in my head i was thinking

yeah, that sounds like me

and i smiled like this ^_^

with my eyes closed

lol

it was a good night

blah

4am

and

I wanted to keep track of some memories

like how it was the 23rd of nov yesterday

but thank goodness

i have andrew

he makes me happy

he said something i wanted to quote

that made me happy

....

hm

I think it started off with

"I like you more now that when I met you"

something like that

and then he mentioned that he liked me at first

because I'm cute, play Magic, am quiet and easy to get along with

and now he's in love with me

:)

of course i smiled!

*sigh*

so good

.

god

i am so tired

but

i had to catch up on the internet

no reddit at all today

til now

lalwkefjaelf

god
an hour and half

akewlfef

my eyes hurt

goodnight

goodnight

goodnight

I'm pretty sure Andrew said that he loves me today.

11.21.11

Well, anyway

I whispered "I love you" in his ear after cupping my hand around it

(I wanted him to hear me)

earlier though he had asked me what I was thinking

and I said "Nothing"

but then changed my mind

he said "I love you, too" after I whispered to him by the way

so that counts

also

I think he said "I love you" again!

when I was about to leave

maybe

:)

I'm going to run away from my family and not tell them about my bad grades.

T_____________________________T

I'll probably get a C in Java, Bs in trig and chem and an A is psychology.

I feel like such a failure.

*sighhhhhhhh*

but I shouldn't. =/

I don't know

what to do

with myself

...........................

I will try a lot harder next semester

-----------------------------

I'm depending on Spain to do me a lot of good!

Hm...

I'm 18.

When I used to get really stressed out

and ranted a LOTTTTTTTTT to my ex while we were dating

I'd ask him to comfort me

and he was the worst at it

he kept telling me that he had no idea how

so for four years I tried training him to say "Everything will be alright, I love you."

followed by a kiss on the forehead and a hug.

...

...

...

Well, he never managed to get that for some reason

and

just thinking about it

I was one hell of a crazy girlfriend

I was awful

and really high maintenance

and idk

he didn't deserve me being upset so much

I really don't want to be a crazy girlfriend praying mantis thing

I mean, I'm sure I was the average kid girlfriend back then

I was like... 13-16?

or so

yeah.

middle school throughout high school

crazy stuff

I don't want to be a kid.

>_>

I hate realizing how young and childish and girly I am every time I write one of these stupid blog entries

I like to tell myself that I'm eating all this junk food in preparation of winter in Barcelona

I'm sure I won't be eating as much there

and it's going to be cold

...

haha

I'm so silly

Mm... winter in Barcelona

my first Christmas alone

and away!

:)

It's nice.

Have you ever had someone use you even when they're long gone?

I'm pretty sure that we both know that we're cyberstalking each other.

Or maybe it's just me

and I'm really creepy...

but no...

otherwise you wouldn't have done that

or seen this

or idk

:)

I'm not going to lie

all of this protesting makes me so sad

and I don't want to know the whole story

My friend, Matthew Craft, wrote this bit and I really liked it. Not sure why... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Don't you trust me?" The woman asked with an inquisitive and concerned look on her face. The man smiled halfheartedly cocking his head sideways for a moment, "Trust?...can you even define trust?" He retorted, "With a mind and heart that has seen the inner workings of the true human spirit...trust is a very touchy subject." He finished with eyes unblinking. She looked as if she had been slapped, and as if she wasn't satisfied. "What are you saying?" She asked raising her tone slightly, and as the words escaped her lips, he had already turned and began walking, laughing quietly and shaking his head. "The answer is no..." He finished broadly, making his way out of the room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm just going to go ahead and guess that he doesn't trust women. :)

So my friend is madly in love with someone but they can't be together and so my friend found someone else and though my friend isn't madly in love with this new person but this new person makes my friend really happy and satisfied just no tingling sensations, or sparks or whatever Do you know what I'm saying? I don't have any advice It's just tough to watch

I should stop spending money on Magic. I need to save up a few bucks for Spain.... -____-;;

Or not. Maybe I'll go in broke.

Hm...

But I'll probably be hungry.

I think I need new shoes. I'm gonna look like a dork.

I want to make new friends.

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I predicted that he would say this.... ha.

Mm.... I like him so much!

He makes me happy. n_n

        me: I wanna watch a good movie
        Andrew: like Clue :O
        me: oh yeahhhhhh
        I don't know how it'll be though. It's from 1985...    
        Andrew: hey! so am I!
        me: But I do love 80s romance

I've gotten chubbier and I love my smile.

I may not be beautiful, but I'm still pretty

It's nice

Guys don't want to ravage me

At least not the ones I seem to meet

Maybe it's just me though

But everyone around me is trying their best to keep me happy

and take care of me

and I'm kind of hoping that this well help me out in Spain

I don't want to get hurt >_<

I'm going insane and this is awful timing.

I'm so nervous and scared about going to Spain!

What if I die?

I'm going to be there for an entire month!!!!

What the hell am I going to do?

What do I bring?

Where do I stay?

How do I eat?

And get money

and communicate

and


alkjwef;lakjefe

I don't know!!!!!!!!!!

WHat will I learn?

Who will I meet?

goodness

time

is

going

by

so

fast..................................................................................................

Why am I so scared thinking about it now?!?!

hahahaha....

I've been thinking about this for months

a;walwekj

o_o

o_o;;

=/

mm...

I love you

I'll be back soon

It's like he has telepathy..... or can read my mind or feel what's up

....


How?

I don't understand

And remember that old lady who thought I was a stripper because I introduced myself as "Honey"?

ahahahahahah

and THEN

it turned out she was my lil sis's teacher

and it was so awkward

and so funny

and I love life

Remember when we used to go to Whole foods every day and you'd buy me a bottle of champagne, some cheese and a box of olives?

Geez

I was like... only 14

Bahahaha

Good times..

Good times.

*sigh*

I lived an awesome life

so spoiled... >_>

I've been 18 for almost three months now.

Man

I am really young

.

I mean

I thought that when I turned 18 everything would be different

but nope

...

it's weird

moving up slowly.

Read something on Reddit today

about princes and rape

that really made me think

and I wonder why

r/wtf

....

stupid Reddit

I was in such a good mood earlier

Me and my boyfriend are doing pretty well I think

:)

Is the saying something like

first is the worst  and second's the best?

n_n

I want to have tingling sensations. o_o

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Was going to quote something about bums and hippies

when I realized that the guy Brett was referring to

wasn't even my boyfriend.

So it's pointless

It's all pointless

ha

Sometimes you're just confused

and let memories fade

because you have no idea what the hell happened anyway

So yeah

this summer

I did that

and then felt slightly bad and guilty

that I didn't recall an entire relationship

that lasted for months

because I had no idea what happened to it

ha

It was weird

If I was a guy who wasn't me, I'd fall in love with Nhi.

...

ha

but then I'd kind of be frustrated too

because she's really weird

but so awesome

but so weird...

I'm not really in a Magic frenzy anymore. It' been two months or so. Not bad for a phase.

So I was conversing with Nate earlier and he made me feel AWESOME.

:)

ha

Nothing I didn't know before

just a new person

using new terms

...

It feels nice that people see me the way I want them to

and they see me as the person I want to be

so that means

I probably am that person

alwkejawel

*sigh*

Can't really explain it

I must have ranted about this idea earlier

but never mind.

I shall carry on with life!!

<3

I wish I was a nerd wanna be.... Then I wouldn't actually be a nerd. >_>

• 
  

  • 
    

    Nate Petersen

    • you're status on google says "ubuntu"
    • I had no idea u knew nething bout computers, lol
  • 
    

    3 minutes ago

    Hanh-Nhi 'Brianna' Pham

    • Oh
    • Ha
    • What's the question?
    • =p
  • 
    

    
    

    2 minutes ago

    Nate Petersen

    • lol, ur hiding ur smarts from me 

      I thought u were just a nerd wanna be girl playin magic

  
  

  • 
    

    2 minutes ago
• 
  

  2 minutes ago

  Hanh-Nhi 'Brianna' Pham

  • Am I?
  • I'm minoring in computer science
• 
  

  2 minutes ago

  Nate Petersen

  • how much u know bout computer stuffs?
• 
  

  2 minutes ago

  Hanh-Nhi 'Brianna' Pham

  • 
• 
  

  2 minutes ago

  Nate Petersen

  • 
• 
  

  2 minutes ago

  Hanh-Nhi 'Brianna' Pham

  • not much
• 
  

  2 minutes ago

  Nate Petersen

  • my jaw drops...*
  • 
• 
  

  2 minutes ago

  Hanh-Nhi 'Brianna' Pham

  • I'm more of a chemistry person
  • but I know C and Java
• 
  

  about a minute ago

  Nate Petersen

  • lol
• 
  

  about a minute ago

  Hanh-Nhi 'Brianna' Pham

  • that's about it really...
  • I use Ubuntu 10.10
  • and I have fedora on a desktop
• 
  

  about a minute ago

  Nate Petersen

  • u r so freakin attractive right now....
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Boy, I am ALWAYS attractive. Just kidding. =p

I had a few "But you're younger than my boyfriend" thoughts today....

I'm not sure what to make of this

Like

hm...

like

...

okie never mind.

I don't feel like Nhi

Two Asian girls went up to me

and said

"Hey! You're that girl who's really good at Magic"

"Yeah, we saw you in that YouTube video"

I felt really flattered.... bahahaha

It's tough giving away so much attention to people

Like...

I have a lot of friends who get left behind

who I think about, but don't spend time with

And most of my time now is for myself, my boyfriend and Magic

>_>

I can only think of a few people I spend time with regularly

Andrew, Michael and Slava

I say that I probably allocate 80% of my free time going out to Andrew

and then I don't know where the rest goes

Michael and Slava are at UCF Mon, Wed and Fri... so I'm not really going out

Maybe it's 100% instead of 80 with Andrew

I'm just thinking about Nick and Ali now. I'd like to spend time with them

I'll figure something out eventually, before I go to Spain

(I'm supposed to by studying for my math exam which is in less than two hours. :X)

Wish me luck with everything in life!!! n_n

<3

People keep talking about you even when you're gone

It's been forever now

and it really bothers me

Why?

How did you do that?

I want to be remembered forever. It's like you're not even gone. So weird.

*sigh*

But I

never mind

Why is no one helping my sanity?

I keep getting pushed

And I've fallen several times

Whether it's in love or into insanity

Once each should have been enough

Stupid time...

-_-;;

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Still feels weird.

It's like there are two Nhi's

And the cynical one who wishes to rule the world and be great

Is just watching young, carefree Nhi be happy now

Outside of the body

Not in control of any actions

But still whispering loudly of bad thoughts and ideas

They're just different...

Never been done

Just evil

But still okie.

What am I going to do?

About myself?

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Beatboxers are hot

...

maybe it's just talented people in general

Michael Jackson is so awesome

He is really, really, really, really, really, really, really good

So yeah

I really like music

Wish I was talented. Ha

I was lucky to have a song written about me on the internet! :3

Saw a photo of a girl wearing a slutty costume and I thought to myself

"She's so ugly that she has to wear a mask...."

and that was really mean of me

I just want to dance around and have fun

La dum dee da

doo dee doo

Do you believe

right from the start

Do you see

Do you feel

Mm....

I'm pretty sure this isn't going to last forever

Did you find your pills?

Do you fear

I'm swimming in the land

Did you find your pills?

Auburn hair and hazel eyes

Nothing but truth, black and white

.....

I'm short

That nap did me a world of good. Haha

wow

that's crazy what sleep can do

...

:)

YAY!!!

wow, I need so much attention today

and that's why i'll be famous

fah-moose

vamoos

...

FAMOUS

I want you all to love me

and I will love you

and you

and you

and you

Gosh darnit

I'm going to sleep NOW

I'm really tired

this makes me feel certain things I wouldn't normally feel

like sadness

I feel so sad and lost

like I've been wronged and I'm dumb

like my life is worthless

but I know it's not

I still have time

.... I'm gonna succeed

Do you love me?

God I am so tired

I miss you

today I was driving home in the Corvette

playing a Gorillaz album

after Meet the Schizophrenics

and I knew it was a bad idea

....

but I did it anyway

and it felt so good

it felt like

it felt like last year again

when I was doing well

and now

I'm not doing so well

yet

yet

yet

yet

yet

yet

.

.

.

yet

so....

that's a

I'm not doing so well now

and that really sucks

gross

I feel awful

alright

I'm going to take a nap now

WOW, IT'S 3:30 AND I AM FEELING GREAT

I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO SOMEONE FOR LIKE... A MILLION HOURS

JUST KIDDING

MORE LIKE 4 HOURS OR SO

I DON'T KNOW

BUT I FEEL GREAT ABOUT MYSELF

Also, I wonder if my boyfriend's sleeping now

I miss him. <3

n_n

This is why I like him. Clever boy...

6 minutes

1:27 AM Andrew: Okay, well you seem busy, and I ran out of stuff to do.

 me: Sleeping out of boredom?

 Andrew: So, I am going to get in bed and watch TV :)

 me: I see

 Andrew: nah, just TV time

 me: Okie dokes

  n_n

  <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 Andrew: <3!

1:28 AM me: I win

 Andrew: So you're coming over tomorrow?

 me: Yeah

 Andrew: Nope; I won. I got the most hearts.

 me: ...

  darn

  ha

 Andrew: ;)