I had a r/jailbait plan

But what do you think about r/gonewild?

...

I'd have a different account for it

But uh... we'll see

I really doubt it though

I'm pretty sure I could be recognized >_>

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Remember how fucking easy it was for me to write essays for other kids? Jesus. $50 for 2.5 pages and a bibliography.  $20 for 2 pages and $10 for each additional page. Ha. Such easy money. No one is hiring in college I suppose. Essays were so easy too! Check Facebook.

"I would pay someone..."

Ha.

That was easy.

Am I corrupt?

No

That's probably the wrong word

But I am bad

I'm also tired and am stuck in the past

Some sort of mental loop is forming I suppose

I really need to sleep in order to stop it!!!!

Fucking Tuesdays

You're supposed to be my day off

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I want to say "Hey, Andrew. I love you. Don't be upset about Sunday."

However, I'm really tired right now and am not ready for any conversation

I do like the guy

But I like myself too

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My friend Heather just posted this

fact: people who are in relationships with people they do not trust are seriously just wasting their time, there are people out there that would never give you a reason to doubt. wait for them.

Maybe that person is worrisome

Or has had bad experiences

I hate waiting

But that's not my point

And really doesn't relate to this

Remember when Josh defined "Dating"?

Maybe it's bad that all my friends are guys

So all of my advice has been from guys

Ha

Ugh

Why am I not a guy

:)

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Mm... yay!

Thank you, WWF.

Also, my future is so damn bright. :)

I'm just thinking about the possibilities.

It's win win

Winnnnnnnnnn

Winnnnnnnnnnn

Winner :)

Hm

Yeah

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Stupid cellphone with internet.

Ever had a rant you've gotten really into in your head that you forget your surroundings

Well, that just happened to me

Also

...

I want so much, but I really am lazy

I hate Windows

Only two months left

Why is everyone so high?

I'm pretty sure I'm being the average girl now

Maybe the average person

Remember when I told you that I usually develop characteristics of those I date?

And those I date are guys

But they are kinda girly in some ways

Anyway

My point is that if I'm acting guyish and girly then that's actually like the typical person

It's a type of logic

Though it may be a fallacy.

Ha.

I love you

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also, i hope to dream of dragons and money

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

so my life is like

(x-25)^2=-10y

I want to hear stories

Remember that one time I asked for a story before I went to bed

I think I asked about a million times...

must have gotten annoying.

Anyway, I love you.

I need more swords.

Also, I can't forget Nathalie, Adeline, Nick, Bruce, Jon and Ali.

o_o

Ugh

rot 13, 12 and 11

I am more than upset at life.

I need chocolate and ice cream and flowers and a fucking chick flick

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RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT

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Oh god

Fuck me for being dependent

I wanna smash my phone and go dancing

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I'm ignoring you because I don't love you anymore which feels very weird to me

I knew I never needed you

But now I look at myself and wonder how I could have let this happened to me

I swear that my past obsession with you made me a better person

But now I couldn't care less

I used to think about how great it'd be for us to be together

Not married or anything I think

Just together

All I want now is to be alone.

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after this weekend i'm not going to spend any more money on magic

i don't even have enough money to go somewhere spring break

this fucking sucks

i'm pretty sure that I wanted to leave

to seattle

goddammit

i'm a failure

schedule, schedule, schedule

i do not want to stay in florida.

............................................

mother fuckers.

hey you.

i miss you

i miss my life actually....

remember

remember all those good times?

I just want to think about that time

when you were leaning against the counter

you were so upset about something

or someone I suppose

but I was there

ha

you must have thought I was so kind and patient

but really

I was just in love

you pulled the cork out of the wine bottle

and threw it across the room

while I silently stood and stared

suddenly I was pulled in

suddenly I saw a smile

it felt so good

to see you happy

all because of me

V whfg jnag fbzrbar jub'yy znxr zr unccl. V jnag fbzrbar yvxr Xlyr naq Gbzzl pbzovar. V yvxrq Xlyr orpnhfr ur'f gnyy naq fxvaal, ohg V qba'g ernyyl guvax uvf snpr jnf njrfbzr. V qvq guvax ur jnf phgr gubhtu, zbfgyl orpnhfr ur'f n zhfvpvna. V ernyyl, ernyyl yvxrq gung. Naq Gbzzl jnf fb svg naq evpu naq znayl. Un. Ur qebir fhpu n avpr fcbegf pne naq jnf fb tbbq ng znegvny negf. V'z jnyybjvat va zvfrel abj guvaxvat nobhg gur cnfg. Vg'f fb rnfl gb qb gung. V zvff orvat nybar. Gura ntnva, V yvxr Naqerj fb zhpu. V whfg... V whfg qba'g yvxr gur vqrn bs guvaxvat nobhg gur shgher, lbh xabj?

People are funny.

They complain about being single

And they complain when they have someone

I just like living I suppose

When I'm single I go out a lot

And when I'm not I have someone awesome

Living is just win win

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Even if you wear a mask people can still tell if your ugly

It's about your nose
jawline
cheekbones...
weight

There be lots of good-looking guys and I ain't discriminating.

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What is the level of insanity for me wanting to grab a large knife which I would use to stab this mattress I am sitting on several times

More like countless times

Goddamn. Paul McCartney is still hot as a super old man.

Fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu.............

Alright, alright... I am crazy.

Whatever, I'm not crazy. Everyone is just fake!

Also, I'm cleaning my room now.

Actually, I'm cleaning the clothes room now. I haven't been home for months.

I'm not sure if I've already posted this poem.

~~~~~

Hearts are falling everywhere
Yet no one here is really scared
One by one they all will tear
So much pain he has not bared.

Fire falls down by his feet
Eyes dart up instead of meet
Twenty souls pass through the street
Yet no one dared to even greet

"Hello, I'm alone. Listen to me
Maybe you're the one who will see
The magic behind the old Blue tree.
It only picks up the true and free"

I stopped to hear, plenty curious
The old man seemed so mysterious
Maybe he's just overly delirious
But with eyes sincere, this must be serious.

"I love you, kind girl. Thanks for this chance.
You've given me hope to sing and dance
When no one else would even glance
Yet you're here in such a trance.

I love you, kind girl. You're a sweetheart.
I promise our souls shall never part-"
That is when I stopped and looked away
I will not give this fool my time of day.

Oh god, someone help me

someone let me out.

Help!!!

These walls are suffocating me

they continue to close in and I can do nothing about it.

The foundation of my mental stability is wearing down

more and more so each day.

At night I'm left to claw my way out and I fail each time

During the day I'm made to wander and work.

I see my arms move, but I do not feel them

No one can hear me scream.

I'm not sure whether or not my body is the puppet or if I'm a bad puppeteer

Nothing goes together.

Further and further my ideas of rationality slip

The voice of reason gets quieter

It's only been a year, but I feel like I have already lost

I just need so much love and attention...... T_T

I used to write about azaleas
left behind as clues
I've learned that memories will fail you
The past begins the blues

Whatever. I think I'll stop writing crap now

The tone was cold
as truths unfold
I felt less bold
and lost my hold
of reality...

His voice has told
from tongue words rolled
about fool's gold
what he meant to me.

You're not good enough.

Did you hear me?

Words that seem so harsh...

but I know the feeling.

You're not good enough.

Kiss

1,2,3

Don't miss!

I've been waiting three years nothing

A heart so empty won't sing

At least give me a twirl with an arm outstretched

Let me live out this dream which seems far fetched

The goodness hugs me and I sing with delight

Until I turn around and it's suddenly night

Too lost in the woods I sit down and sigh

How I wish I were a bird able to fly

In a tutu and tux I'm mixed up in my mind

If I can't even clothe I will never find

The end of the reach or beginning of falls

I'll be stuck forever in imaginary walls

Slippers on toes, silky smooth slides

On the leaves I dance and easily glide

It's night now! Why worry? There are the stars

If I keep on moving I'll raise up the bars

No crying or sitting, my hair in a bun

Soon I began to start a run

The end I will reach, no one to shout

The goal I will breach, no one will doubt

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Simple lies

I despise

Hear the cries

See the tries

Fear the guys

No one dies

His demise

And her rise

Not so wise

Gauge her eyes

Oh, what size!

And their ties

How she vies

For the prize

And now the byes

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Did she know that she would dread

That warm gun against her head

She's learned from the dead

Where happiness has lead

And sprawled on the bed

Were the lyrics she read

The words she was fed

What her lover had said

(Who she longed to wed).

No tears were shed

No marsh to tread

And only an end instead

Goodbye

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Mister two one three

Those syllables mean so much to me

They number more than just my plea

Of a means to justify the free.

Oh, mister two one three

How you never satisfied me

Yet how often we did agree

On each other's ability

Da da da da da tee

Your names are said secretly

Alone you stand so solemnly

Back against the wall you'll be

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Hello, my name is Hanh-Nhi Pham and I will be famous.

My boyfriend is more physically insightful than my ex and the last guy I've dated. It's nice.

You know what's stressful? Taking care of someone who isn't good enough. Jesus.

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Valentine's, anniversaries and birthdays are like the perfect days for a girl to take advantage of wanting to be spoiled. I love feeling special. ^_^

I love roses and chocolates and stuff.

<3

And fancy dinners and candles and everything! Yeap. Rose petals everywhere. Hm. Things are sweet. :)

Things are cute.

I love today.

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You want my attention more than ever now and I'm not giving it to you
but after a taste you're already sick of me
Ha
What a vicious and disgusting cycle
....






math is fun.

I really like older men. I'm pretty sure white guys in their forties are the best/my favorite because I'm weird. I must have daddy issues or something. Maybe I just like white guys in general. But yeah, I'm weird. The good news is that I'll like who I'm dating more and more. Ha.

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I love roses and romantics and fancy dinners while dressed up. I think the idea of New York is slowly becoming more appealing to me. I used to feel so rushed there, but now I get so bored...

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I really don't like you now...

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Ugh. I had a bad dream about carnations.

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Someone doesn't love me.

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Eh. I miss the beginning

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So........ much.

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I love you. I love you all.

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Evade dependency and maintain stability

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Also, we're all going to be upset. It just needs to happen.

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Ah, fuck you

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I think I'll be mean today. Yeap. I don't like not being happy

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Also, I'm pretty much insane. Also,

I like to consider myself unattached to everyone

I mean, that way I can't get hurt

And I do ignore people

For such long periods of time

I do

I do

I do

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I'm just really pissed off now and sad

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I am so annoyed at people. Even I can't be patient! Ha. I'm awful. Ignore... everyone.

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That's never happened to me I think...

but I've had guys look into my face and tell me that I'm pretty

Meh.

Not the same, but still feels nice

especially when it's from someone you love

It's a nice feeling when a guy puts his hand under your chin to lift your face up
and say right into your ears in front of your eyes
"I love you"

I love my boyfriend so much. :)

I'm also Jon Finkel's biggest fan girl.

I really don't like Brian Kibler. I don't know why, maybe it's because I get a good-looking douche vibe from him. Ha. I don't know.

I'm so excited for Valentine's Day! I love it so much :)

Last year I sat alone in a coffee shop waiting for you, rose in hand
Pink, fresh and free
Oh well

I have neither time nor patience for another guy

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Ever ever....

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Of course I want you to love me forever.

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Of course I want you to love me forever?

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Of course I want you to love me...

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Not gonna lie, Edward from those Twilight movies is pretty hot.

My life is falling apart.

Ahhhhhhh!!!!!

Jesus Christ. Fucking cramps

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I want a nice pair of earrings that don't dangle or anything so I don't have to worry about them being ripped off from my ears.

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I'm slowly letting everyone go

Goodbye

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Before you left I pulled a twenty

Thanks

A hug and a kiss, goodbye you'd say

Ready to sleep and move on

The next day forty, we were in love

Every night we'd love

Days went by, no big deal

............................................................................

stupid math homework

..... why am I so angry.

Just kidding

Tommy's a fucking douchebag

I have a habit of putting people in good light a lot

I remember when I used to do my economics online in front of my ex while he played cod

I'd get so frustrated

and curse at my laptop

he'd pause the game

walk over to me

grab my shoulders

look into my eyes

and say

"calm down... it's only homework"

I'd hug him and pretend to sob

You don't understand how frustrating this shit is to me

He was a nice kid

I hate being the evil one

I need to leaveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

please

take me away

somewhere

anywhere

please

please

please

please

please

please

please......

*sigh*

Okie, fine whatever

I'll do it myself

and will go alone

Just you watch!

I'm going to disappear for a bit

Also, I want mac n cheese................

I don't have a dream guy

I'm at that point in my life where I don't think I can be hurt emotionally by other people

I have distanced myself by so much

I'm not attached at all

but I can enjoy what I have when I have it

I just keep waiting...

I need someone or something to open my eyes again

my will for living has significantly dropped

All I do is live in this false world of Magic

How is that going to make a difference?

I need to save the world

influence people

keep my own thoughts and opinions

...

I don't have any right now

I'm pretty sure I've lost a few role models

but we'll see

I fucking hate being woken up before 12 on the weekends. Dear God, give a girl a break. Give me a day I'm allowed to sleep in. I'm tired and grumpy and hate kids right now.

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Sometimes I hear people all around me argue about the most pointless things

I'm surrounded by hateful emotions

and since nearby I get thrown some awful things

So I wish that everybody could just keep chill like me

I don't care about what you say to me

I understand that you try to make me feel bad in order to feel better about you and your miserable life

Instead, think about the awesome things in your life

Don't call me fat

Or a whore

Or ugly

and everything else I have heard repeatedly

I'm not being rude by keeping quiet

Seriously

I'm quiet 99% of the time

Do you really think it'd help the situation if I were to defend myself and argue back

Jeez

Why can't you learn to do the same?

Do you know how much more efficient things would be if we only spoke with words related to the point?

ha

idk

never mind

I've never been one to talk about pointless things or have small talk

I usually have a point when I say things

whether it's to inform someone
entertain someone
ask something
or whatever

I'm just tired of people feeling bad now

My life is so good....

If I win three FNMs in a row I will take that as a sign that I'm good at playing Magic.

I'm going to keep an eye on that sword.

Because I feel stupid.

Ha.

I am majorly pissed at myself

so freaking much.

AHAHAHAHAHHAHfhw;elkfjaw;lektjaw;ljtaw;l4kjt'34tj23'pujt2'4wefdcx


eijfa;woijt;ao34ijtme,d

Hello there.

It's me again.

I was thinking about writing a poem

but I didn't even finish any of my other ones.

Oh well.

~~~~

I say words of you, to you.
I sing songs of you, to you.
I do things to you, for you.
I gave up to you, for you.

Inside I feel weak
Never having courage to speak
No idea, no opinion
Just a subservient minion

Happiness, a false goal
I will never feel whole
I think at night all alone
Things of the past I have known

I place my head down to breathe
Letting old feelings seethe
Fair is just, just is fair
Never was perfect pair

~~~~

I don't know what else to write. I don't have enough good or bad emotions.

Also, I like being spoiled. I love roses and chocolates and bears but I've learned to live without them. I don't know what to think of Valentine's.

I think the first time Tommy bought me roses was when I was mad at him.

I told him that if I were ever to get mad at him he should buy me roses and surprise me.

Which he did. He even brought me cheesecake.

...

One time he paid $80 for a dozen roses.

They were the reddest and most beautiful flowers I have ever seen.

So deep and fresh...

I think that's the only time he went to an actual florist in Winter Park.

I remember him buying bears for me and I'd call them ugly without saying "thank you"

and how he'd always win me at least five stuffed animals at fairs, theme parks, or even claw machines

ha.

I was such a brat in high school

so spoiled

I've changed so much from ages 13-15

Most likely because of last year and a half

when I learned to take nothing and be happy

it's possible

and all it took was some truth and knowledge

no experience

so money

just music and my mind was blown

I didn't care

I shouldn't have

but that's it.

It's all gone now

Nick says he likes me as a friend because I can appreciate everything

I'm glad he sees me as how I want to be seen

my plan is working

yeap.

I love you.