Life's worth living as long as you have something that makes you happy.

Like memories.

At the very, very least... one good memory from the past is all you need to live.

And if you don't have any good memories

live just to make at least one

unless that is impossible

and in some situations...  it is impossible

and there's no meaning for life

...

...

I'm sorry.

This is the first year I haven't worn a slutty schoolgirl outfit in five years.

wore one when I was

14
15
16
17

.....

be proud of me.

It still boggles me

August 13th draft:

I mean, I would have been the most perfect Vietnamese daughter-in-law!!!!!!!!!!

I don't understand why she hated me for so long...

I know how to read, write and speak in Vietnamese!!!!!

Do you know how hard it is to find an Americanized girl who can do that?

And I'm pretty smart. Gosh, I have a full scholarship to UCF.

My major is bio-chem/pre-med and I only need maybe four more classes for my computer science minor.

I come

I want

August 15th draft:

crazy hair!!!

like... really noticeable

and different.

Probably because I'm an attention whore though

and also more people come up to talk to me

So my sister and I were talking

August 27th draft:

and she tells me how all the girls at church compares themselves to me.

Most of them are friends with my sister and idolize her because my sister is one of those popular and really pretty hipster girls who's also very Asian (Korean wannabe).

The girls at church then tell my sister about the guys they like

September 8th draft:

How awful would it be if I gathered 20 guys for a date so I could go through the process faster?

September 8th draft:

I'm a sophomore majoring in pre-med with a minor in computer science

Next year I'll already begin applying to UCF and UF

...

There is no fucking way I'm going to deal with church. -_-;;

September 9th drafter (*sad face*):

Guys, I'm a pre-med student minoring in cs and working at my family's clinic during my down time.

Please give me some slack.

Yeah, my classes are easy this semester but I need a 4.0

I am pushing myself to my full potential in academics because I know I can do it

Chemistry is everything to me, science is the logic I use

even more emotions because it just makes sense.

Is there such thing as a chill relationship?

September 9th draft:

You know what, I'm not even that mean!

I'm just going to move on now. All of my friends think I'm really nice!

September 12th draft:

I should stop cursing.

September 22nd draft:

I finished writing a song today.

It's pretty good because I like singing it.

September 22nd draft:

Hey, Nick.

If you see this post

then I'd like to thank you for being so sweet to me.

You've kind of made my night because it sucked.

Ha, I'm not sure if you realized it.

September 22nd draft:

Thank you.

You give me hope

September 23rd draft:

Once upon a time there was a girl
who fell in love with the first boy who could show her there was more to the world
He wasn't mysterious, just odd
It's funny how he's a musician and the only time she saw him play was the first time she met him and the first time she saw him for the last time....
because he returned after he left you know

September 24th draft:

And why do I like geeks??? Is it because I'm one?

Ha.

Ye

September 24th draft:

Heartbreaker...................................................

How are you doing?

September 28th draft:

"It's been a while, I miss you. Have you made any progress towards your musician?"

So I tol

October 16th draft:

All these horny college girls telling me all the new sex things they're trying out and I can't relate

blah

sounds fun

October 19th draft:

I'm jealous of those people who are actually in love. >_<

I wanna be in love... *sigh*

I don't know.

Never mind

Remember when I was 17 and loved telling everyone how old I was??

I don't know why

I also really liked older guys

so that was a bad mix...

a troubling one

that would've gotten people in trouble



But anyway

I'm 18 now

and my age really doesn't faze anyone anymore

because I'm 18.

I was 17 only 2 and almost a half ish months ago!

Mm.

I think I've dated a few guys

hm

my first (and no longer only! :D) boyfriend was 5 years older

then I kind of became obsessed with a guy who's 6 years older (I have no idea what happened)

and there's Max who's 4 years older (crush)

and I dated Michael for a few weeks who's also 4 years older

and now my 2nd boyfriend (yay!) is 8 years older.

and then I think

these aren't that many years....

and I keep getting older so the numbers seem smaller

because when I was 13 and whatshisface was 18

that was WEIRD

and when I was 17 and <3 was 23 that wasn't so bad, I think

(but it still was because I was a senior in high school :X though I did attend UCF)

huh

and now I'm 18 with someone who's 26.

He's 100 months older than me!

and always will be!

Isn't that weird to think about?

Right now he is 146% my age.

Whoa.... haha.

I mean, I don't care... but it's silly

right?

He was probably aware of Bill Clinton (who's birthday is the same as mine) being elected president

and stuff like that

and all those video games I missed out on for not being born yet

Anyway, when I'm 21 he'll only be 140% my age...

er

the percentage continually decrease.

I have nothing else to talk about now and my room is SO HOT.

so I have to turn on the fan now

cyall later!!!!!

^_^

I have multiple personalities, ideas, opinions, loves and whatever.

Don't judge me harshly please.

I'm everything you want me to be!!!

(Although I'm a lot of what you don't want either........... >_<)

Chocolate cake

velvet cookies

yum

tres leche

I have not been motivated by the future at all recently

It's as if I don't care

Logically, instant gratitude is not worth it

but it's less of a gamble, right?

Or no....

Because with instant gratitude you do get to feel good!

I may die tomorrow

But that means I'm kind of betting on not living long

Hm.

I did think of dying on my 18th year

and that's now

some sort of romantic and tragic death

after I've saved the world

or at least influenced the people I see potential in and love

Can you imagine?

An army of people!!!

Filled with my ideas, my opinions, my goals...

that's what I want to do

I'll save the world.

But of course that whole doctor thing is a backup plan.

I'm sure being a millionaire will help that, too.

I wonder if I'll ever want to stay poor

as in choose to not be upper class

thingy

whatever.

My family has put too much emphasis on money

And I have a bad habit of not listening to them

Argh. 

I KNOW that I should learn from their experiences

and that my success is their best interest

so why am I fighting them?

Because of differing ideas and opinions...

because of a generation gap...

cultural differences...

I should listen

and be a good girl

they're all going to die soon.

They're so old!

Isn't that an awful thing to think about?

I just want to make people happy.

T_T

I want to make myself happy!

I'm first.

Well, lookie here.

It's my guitar!

Um...

I guess I'll go play it.

Also.... I really want candy apples and candy corn. :(

GUESS WHO'S GOING TO STORES THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN

That's right

that randomly eccentric Asian girl

because she really doesn't go crazy that often

Nhi's pretty cool

you should give her a chance

though she may not have much time now

at this instant in her life...

so maybe if you're patient

like next year

you could fall in love with her and let her make you happy

because she'll try her best

just to make memories

it's all memories..........

I just want Spain to happen now, before it's too late

I don't want to do anything stupid

Can I recover

and feel good again

or something?

*sigh*

I'm not happy anymore, I know it.

I'm not the same

This has to be a phase

I must be sick or something because I really like Harley Quinn's and the Joker's relationship. It's so sad... and weird... and messed up.

I love Harley though, she's awesome. I don't know why, she just is!

I like good arms, like biceps and forearms.

Also abs.

Those are my favorite parts. Ha

So I kinda had a random flashback of my perfect first date last year

Alright, it wasn't a PERFECT first date

but good enough for me to call it one

Anywayyy

I remember him going out for a smoke

and coming back in

and he kissed me.

It was so nice because he's really tall

and he lowered his head down

and put his hand in my hair.

I don't know, it was just nice. That's all we did that night was kiss and lie down together!

I also liked how I was wearing heels that night and he was still taller. Ha.

By quite a bit too.

I had a good dream last night. I'm happy.

I don't want to forget it. :(

But I know I will...

I guess I'll write it down somewhere.

I can't post it on my blog

I mean it's possible

but what if who I dreamt about reads it?

Ha

Not a dirty dream, just.... a sentimental one?

Am I the type of person to become famous just for attention?

I doubt it. I'm kinda shy and quiet.

I love thinking about the possibilities though. n_n

I want to be a part of your life

just so I can leave...

I want to be part of your past

good memories that you can look back on

Everything will just be so perfect

and then I'm gone!

Why?

I don't know

Well, I do

But you don't

I have this dream to forever be a figment of your imagination

Was I real?

Was I really there?

Every time we kissed, no one was around

Is there proof?

We were together in secret, maybe you're insane!

I don't know

You were so happy

What happened?

Where am I?

What am I doing?

...

Why am I so lost?

I'm in love with the past and it's probably never going to go away.

Doesn't that suck?

The past will always be there... in the past.

One may always close their eyes and remember... relive

What if I lived my life in just those two months

over and over again?

Would it matter?

But then again, that's not enough for me!

I'm going to go and work for a better future.

Ha.

Then, it'll be like reliving the past, but with new good memories! You know?

Yeah, I'm crazy... but I know what I want.

I need more money for Magic cards.

I wonder how long this phase will last.

I'm going to bring my decks to Spain anyway. Ha!

I'm going to Spain next month.

I don't have a passport, yet.

It's going to cost me at least $150

but I want to buy Magic cards

....

blahhhhh.

I don't even know where I'm going to stay!!!

Can I tell you a secret?

The only reason I'm traveling now is because I love a boy and wanna be just like him!

(But better, because I'm Nhi and not him. We're not exactly the same or anything, he just kind of influenced me.)

But I want to live up to his expectations

I want to grow up

I want to become a better person....

I'm just hoping for so much in this one trip to Europe for a month. Maybe I'll learn Spanish.

I mean, what the hell am I doing??

But, I am kinda happy that I chose Spain rather than China. hahahaha

Because I would not like the person I am if I chose China.

I'm not going to be that dependent or crazy or whatever!!!

Maybe it's just because I love myself more.... and plan to save the world my own way

Maybe I don't want to be just the helper being used, you know?

And then I suddenly realize as I'm writing this

"I'm only 18!!!" Why does this matter?

.............

I can still do a lot. I can still influence people. Maybe you'll want to be in my army instead?

There always seems to be that one guy a girl finds and friendzones even though he incredibly sweet and always says the right things

why?

I have no emotional attachment to you right now. The strings may be easily severed, sliced through with and by the dullest object like nothing's there.

I'm sorry.

I like you though, it's just not love.

*chomp chomp chomp*

Yeah, I don't understand either.

Why can't I just say stuff I like?

Love for me involves me becoming a better person

I pretty much love everyone who influences me well

or in a way that I approve of


.....

I have crushes on guys who can teach me or are talented

I lust hot guys (duh)

I like cute guys

............

I'm happy when I'm comfortable.

=/

rawr, rawr, rawr

I'd rather live up to someone else's expectations than my own if they're higher than mine

I just hate assholes.

Unless you're nice to me

then, I won't mind

as much

I think....

I only say this because I can only think of a weirdo I have a crush on

and people generally don't like him

but I do.

Gah, I feel normal now.

I don't like knowing how average I am.

I've voluntarily kissed four guys in my life. That's a lot!

In my opinion.

I've had two boyfriends now.

That's pretty average, I think.

I heard that you fall in love seven times on average.

So far... I believe that I have loved twice.

Hm.

We'll see.

I like the feeling of being too good for someone

it makes me feel secure

but that's a bad thing, right?

so I'll just give up for now

and I'll be a bit for humble.

March 13, 2009 (From ex to me)

"I am not always going to be there to comfort u. I be there sometime but not every day u feel sad. U r always sad or havew something going on"

"It is kind of normal thing now. Atleast ur sad or mad once a week"

"I can't take care of u and myself everydaay"

"I hafd a bad day also"

"U didn't think about me"

"I don't relize how lucky I am to have a girl like you"

"I love you"

~~~~~~~~~~

and then we broke up because his grammar was atrocious.

Just kidding.

We were together for another two years and I tried not to be a jerk anymore. What did he expect? I was 15.

I don't want to be dependent.

Why though?

What's so bad about being dependent?

I don't understand...........

me: I wonder if me being gone for a month in Spain will do anything though
1:15 PM
It depends on where the relationship goes

I'm sure I could fall in love with him


1:16 PM
zkriesse: But do you want to is the question

is he the one for you


1:17 PM
me: I don't know, yet

Maybe

It's only been a month

zkriesse: See? That... Right there

As little as I've known you I've come to recognize a few things about you...

You hesitating about things is one of the things you pretty much don't do

~~~~~~~~~~

That's not true! Right?

Zach: "DON'T SETTLE BRI
It's not a 'Happy for now' kind of thing..."








what?

I.... just... hate... you....

:(

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, I was driving to pick up my sister tonight

and listening to the Gorillaz

when I wondered

"Did I really give this all up?

A perfectly acceptable boyfriend

freedom

more than enough money

and ease

just for a new opinion?..."

For a new experience, a new mind.

I gave it all up.

Anyone who fucks up a relationship with me is either an idiot or clueless.

Meh, update on my life

I like my boyfriend, he's nice
I suck at school. Goddammit!
Spain... only eight weeks a day.
I wonder how my boyfriend will last
my month away...
oh well, can't think of it too much
Hum dee dum.
My car is broken
I'm going to stay home for a bit
I'm in love with many things
I met four Kyles yesterday. Still blows my mind.
I sent an e-mail and no reply
Now I wanna rhyme, don't know why
I missed my love, it kinda sucks
But really I don't give any fucks
I should go walk now, it's good for me
Cool air, a fresh feeling make me happy

gah

it's been a long time

I don't know why I liked this so much.

"Olly: man, I wanna kidnap you
lol"

I am so close to being comfortable.

Dear world,

my life has been falling apart this semester and I allowed it to happen

not my entire life, just my school one

I don't know how to handle bad grades, but from now on I'm making a schedule.

I need to pick things up

Life sucks.

We'll see what I have to do.

I'm sorry, future Nhi

the now was so good while it lasted

Dude, stop being such an asshole just because we didn't go out and I didn't become the trophy girlfriend you had hoped for.

It's frustrating

and I don't want to lose any friends

because I love the people at Austins

they were my first friends!!!

So yeah.

I would appreciate that

and I would tell you this

but.........

we both know that you reading this would not help the situation at all for either of us.

*sigh*

I really am a nice person

I'm patient

just let me be your friend or something.

(I mean, you still asked me out after witnessing me vomiting on my 18th birthday. Ha! That was awful. But you must have really liked me, and that made me feel special...)

Actually, I'm sorry things ended the way they did

I really did want to go out with you

but I live in BITHLO, that's 10 mi away from Titisville... so far

It's difficult for me to drive so much.

:(

I'm pretty sure I really like this guy! :D
(IMing each other)


"me: Hm... It depends. I usually don't talk, but people enjoy my company anyway and I like to listen to whatever stories they have.

1:47 AM
Andrew: I can't imagine you not talking.

me: Ha**

Andrew: ;)
<3

me: <3 There may be some people who don't like me though. I'm not sure...

Andrew: :O That I legitimately can't imagine.

1:49 AM me: It's dumb though, I agreed to a date with one of the regulars and he took my quietness as me ignoring him. Some people feel really awkward and uncomfortable around me. >_<

Andrew: ohh
1:50 AM That makes sense.

me: I should work on talking. I'm glad that you don't mind!  

Andrew: You are smart and clever, so I like it when you talk. "


**For those of you who don't know, I am really shy and quiet. Andrew was being sarcastic about not being able to imagine me not talking, which is why I laughed. In fact, I bet I only said 10 complete sentences tops on our first date! >_< He's a good guy. I like him. :)

The bitter better man is so wonderful
He'll become nicer later
But now's a better bitter man
How odd
He's better
but bitter.

I don't understand

First Facebook official relationship

blah

it feels weird

being labeled like this

and the name of it

"Facebook official"

.......

why do people do this?

makes things easier, huh?

Weird.





But guess what? Andrew is my boyfriend. :)

I'm complacent.

Enrique Iglesias's body is the epitome of sex.

Goddamn.

Crazy

thoughtful

gifted

average teenage girl

confused

You decide.

(Depending on the day I'm all of these to myself! Though I do prefer to consider myself as a gifted thinker..... bahahah)

God.... how can anyone handle a long distant relationship?

How can anyone have an online relationship?

Isn't it so frustrating?!

Words are nice

but they're not good enough for Nhi!

I'm just thinking

this is all pretty random

But yeah, I wouldn't know

never tried either

never will

It just sounds so tough

Yeap

(But then again I keep thinking to myself that I'm worth it and that the guys willing to drive 12 hours a week to see me are pretty smart. Ha. Freaking crazy.)

I don't think it's possible for anyone to catch up on my blog.

I write in this diary far too much

or am I?

Yeah... I like to maintain memories.

This is fine.

Also, I love you.

<#

Have you ever felt blah

and started looking for someone

and it only took like... 2 sec

to find a million people

and then you just choose one and go

"Meh, I am satisfied with you"

and just enjoyed that happiness?

Then what?

What do these people do?

..................................................

Time to think!

Think, think, think about useless things

and other peoples' lives

and my life

and the future

and how I'll save the world

and how I want to understand

and how

everything is so relative

Oh my god, I'm feeling like a meany head today!

Ha

But I was just thinking

I feel bad for those people

who keep posting cheerful love sayings

and wise love quotes

when they have no one.....

you know?

Like, why are you doing that

if you don't have any love to begin with?

That's a bad example!

No one else (well, not many people) want to be single

like you

so maybe that just means

that they won't go by those sayings...

Ha!

I don't think I worded this in a way for you to understand, but I hope you get what I mean.

I don't feel like rereading anything

My thinking is weird

too

and

um

At least I can understand myself and map out the thoughts

I'm sure Tommy Phan only broke up with me because I saw him twice a month (he lived 45 min away and had worked nights as a cop. damn his schedule), his mom was bitching at him and he was getting burnt out.

After all that happened he had a chance to start all over

and I think it's ironic that his fiancee is white

because he told me that if wanted to date a white girl he would have when I dyed my hair blonde

that kinda pisses me off, too

that he proposed to her three months after they started dating

and how he was with her when I was with him

just because they work together....

but

whatever

he's crazy

and I'm doing fine

so I'm glad for him

Also

this is why I do not like guys dependent on their parents

who can only visit me twice a month

and are much too close with their mothers.

Blech

blah

erg

He was a good first boyfriend though

and it was nice that I met him when I was 13 and said I wanted to wait until marriage

good guy

I appreciate him for that

and so it seems fair

.............

I wonder how many of you are thinking "Wait, what the fuck?"

I know I would

for several reasons.

But why am I feeling so blah today?!

I think the scariest thing that's ever happened to me was that one date I had with James and he made me his gf on Facebook that day.

It was like BAM

"I love you."

and I was just so confused

and that's why I kept getting turned off by the adjective "gorgeous" to describe me

but it's getting better now

and yeah.

*sigh*

It's rare for me to wanna forget a memory and actually regret something in the past.

I have the biggest crush on Nick Pupo. *sigh*

Have you ever walked down a treacherously long pier during a dark, windy day? You just keep walking, and walking, and walking out farther into the ocean until you've reached the point where you know things will not end well if you fall... right... now. Looking down at the crashing waves you decide to sit on the edge, knowing from experience that your balance can be trusted. However, once you sit doubt emerges because of the playful winds laughing in your ears (at you) and trying to push you in. Join them, it'll be fun. The spray from the waves splashing against the pier are getting your jeans wet, it's starting to feel uncomfortable all this salty water and wind messing up your hair. This frigid experience is not as romantic or mysterious as you had imagined earlier. You remain seated anyway, you turn back and everything is just so far. So alone... After deciding to lie down on the damp, rotting boards you tell yourself that after being this cold, wet and isolated, nothing in life will ever be so bad. That was the point of this, right? But, you are so alone.


Where did you find this pier anyway? No one else has ever seen such gray skies. How is there not a single other person on this beach or pier? What kind of thoughts should be going through your brain at this place and moment?


And then I picked myself up, crossed my arms to clutch onto my jacket, and began to walk quickly to my car. This is all going to be some distant memory I can think back to and re-experience. Good memories, that's all I need to survive. Now how the hell am I supposed to pay for the gas to drive back home?

Don't you feel guilty when you're the cause of making someone stay up all night?
Also, doesn't it feel good when you're the reason someone can sleep well?
Mm... what a lovely world. <3

 ......................................




it's not such a big deal


just be happy with whoever you're with

I keep being reminded of this...

OH GOD.


My first breakup....


Have you ever just wanted to throw up?

Now that I'm 18


-I worry about my credit card bill
-I'm figuring out how to be financially independent
-Boys actually notice me
-Relationships are for real!
-I'm getting fat


Ha.


Ugh


Er.




aklwejfa;lejflk


I'm just.... worried.

I wonder if you read this


and I wonder if you think of me


Don't forget who I was, am and will be...


because they're all great Nhi's...


Just different.


I feel like the first you I met was a lie


but it's getting better all the time.


I love you.


*sigh*....... I do.


<3


(I'll love you five-ever! Ha.)

Scott Pilgrim song stuck in my head

something like

"you know better than that"

or something....

I don't know.

Hm.

It's nice to know that a high-class date to get me back into reality is just a phone call away

Isn't it crazy

that all I have to do

is call a guy

to fly to New York

buy a dress

and go to the theater?

Bahahaha.

Oh... I forget how awesome the life of Nhi is sometimes.

I'm always trapped in my own little world

Mm....

:3

As long as I'm lovable somehow.

Wow, I am fucking crazy.

And people know it! Ha.

Whatever.

As long as I get my goal accomplished and save the world.

^______^

I am really crazy or obsessed or something and I don't like it

one of my favorite memories is just taking a nap with this guy
and watching Pokemon with him holding onto me and then grabbing my hand
and then us hugging in the kitchen
and I don't know

it was just so simple
and blissful
and nice

Why do I still miss this guy?
It's been like... four or five months?
Something like that since I last saw him.

This is stupid.

Time to move on!!!

:)

You're right. I do get a lot of male attention...

but that's just because I don't like girls in general.

Is it weird

that sometimes I think

that I'm actually supposed to be a gay guy or something?

Hm...

Maybe that's not what I would compare it to

Maybe I'm a gay guy trapped in a girl's body

Uh...

that doesn't make sense either.

But this is probably just gender stuff

I do like cars, guns, video games and such

And there are a lot of guys in my programming classes and guys who play Magic

But I'm really more like a guy than a girl

Ha.

I'm not feminine at all!

Sometimes.

I don't know.

My family is just brainwashing me.

o_o

I'm pretty sure......

that's it's only 2AM......

that's making me crazy.

Anyway, feelings are the same as usual.

I miss Kyle's company

and I miss Tommy's money

and I miss my car

and I love freedom

craving lots of it

Wow, can you believe the time has flown?!?!?!?!?!?

It's been over a year already!

It's been almost five months!

Wow!

What a patient kid.

I think poor kid's bad luck. I just know it.

:(

Geez this guy is smart

I can't believe I canceled a date with him.

What was I thinking?!?!?!!?

Argh.

Love makes you do stupid things, huh?

Ha.

Dang it.

awelkjfa;lwejf

So there's this really cute and popular guy who randomly talks to me because he knows I'll pay attention...

Damn him...

I canceled a date once.

Ha.

We're both programmers.

Kinda.

I don't really write anything well.

I'm just learning for fun.

It's weird how I'll sometimes look down at people

and think "you can't write good poetry." or "you don't play music well..."

but I mean

I'll encourage them to keep doing it

I want them to improve

and I hope I do too...

I don't want to keep looking down on them

aklefja;wlejaw;l

I feel awful

as a person

I used to be much nicer!!!

It's this phase I'm telling you.

I'm telling you, it's this phase!!!

Hello, darling......

I'll talk to you later. Sorry I was busy today. :(

I hope you're doing well.

I love you

and miss you.

<3

Dependency building.

This sucks.

I just want straight A's.

Phase is still the same.

When will I live again?

Then realize...

I was dependent then too.

Blah.

When will I ever be Nhi?

Ha.

One day!!!

I will be.

^_^

And people will love me.

I feel like I've only ever loved one guy (I know that's not true, I'm sure I love two...) and I never really told him.

Maybe one day, right? :)

I miss dating a rich guy

sometimes

...

I got every single material item I wanted

and went out

and traveled

.
.
.
.

 Oh well.

I'm only thinking of this because I want to buy a lot of Magic cards, but I'm broke. Bahahaha.

Also

this

is

weird.

Gah

Rawr

Blah!

Hm...

Ugh.

>_<

I'm just....... scared.

I really am.

So I've never even said "hi" to Max.

Ha

This story is going to be so weird when I'm older!

If I were to become independent

by moving out

I would be content if I could feed myself every day, have the internet, have a pet turtle (they're cheap to maintain and are freaking adorable), have my instruments and have enough money for hobbies

So I'm thinking to myself...

am I accepting 85% again?

85... percent.

Maybe it's even less now.

Maybe it's 75%

But that's better than 0.

You've got to remember averages, alright?

I never know when to use all right.

Rawr.

Usually I would stop contacting the world around now for about a day or two....

I usually would

I probably should

But I don't know. I don't think I will.

We'll see what happens

I'm not particularly clingy...

if anything though, I'm just crazy and difficult to deal with.

nap.
guitar.
love.
write.
study.

I believe in karma, don't you?

Do people really say "don't you"?

Or should I just stick with "do you"?

Because it's kinda awkward

Maybe it's like

"I believe in karma, do not you?"

somehow that doesn't sound like it really makes sense but it does maybe I guess, I don't know.

and then my original phrasing at the beginning of this entry... it doesn't sound too bad

so yeah.

why?

question all the things!!!!!!!

It should be

"Believe me, you"

ha.

and..........

yeah

Speaking in third-person like Julius Caeser did.... that's why.

Just something I learned in high school.

Though I don't usually believe in all that hidden meaning stuff behind words

This one actually makes sense to me.

OH!!!!!! I KNOW WHAT I COULD DO TODAY!!!!!

Read. I could read today. I've been spending too much time hanging out with people anyway.

Complacent in life I was

just a year ago

No time for rants though.

It's just about 3:30 or so in the AM

and I've got class in a few

so goodnight! <3

Kyle.

Just quoting a guy. He's sweet I guess =/

"nhi, nhi, nhi nhi nhi

=)

i don't get you.

i mean

sometimes i think i do

a little

like there's a glimmer of understanding

but, looking at the facts

-you're quiet and sometimes difficult to talk to
-you're nearly impossible to make plans with, and
-my own stake in you is pretty much nonexistant in the face of your open affections towards other guys

i shouldn't even care to talk to you, much less have any sort of feelings

so

how do you do it?


vietnamese Nhi magic.

that's the only explanation.

also 'cause you're pretty

but that's not enough to make me want to sing your name"

Someone is starting to really annoy me..............................................................................................................................

I'm randomly thinking about cigarettes right now in my trig class. If someone offered me one I'd probably take three drags and feel disgusted.

I don't want to smoke, mostly because I'm too poor............

>_<

I know it's unhealthy for me too or whatever, but I don't really care about that.

Um.

Hm...

So I ate a blueberry muffin today.

The cashier recognizes me now because I go there every Mon/Wed/Fri morning.

He told me that he was in my chem class because he saw me taking the test.

So we talked for a little bit and then he said "Have a nice day!"

I stood there awkwardly for a bit, kind of smiling and just looking at him

"I hope he remembers to give me that muffin I paid for" I thought to myself

Bahaha. After what felt like 7 long seconds he realized his mistake and got me my muffin, which I grabbed before quickly walking away.

alwkeja;ewfjaef

bahaha

That is all. Nothing really interesting, yet.

Mm... I love typing out hearts.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I love the world so much right now. ^_^

I'm happy. Are you happy?

Skimmed through all of my statuses....

and I will never allow myself to be so dependent again.

God

:(

ea;lwkfjalekfjaefk

I don't know. I can't describe it.

Reading through my Facebook since 2008...

You can really tell how unpopular I was in high school. :(

Thank God that's over with!

I've blossomed into a not-so-ugly girl in college where geekiness/nerdiness is more accepted!

Now if only I could try talking more...

......

Sometimes I forget that I have more secrets to hide than she does.

But then, I'd never use anything she's told me as blackmail.

How could this have happened? Where did all this evil come from?

Angry Nhi

I should calm down............

things turn out better when you don't do things out of spite or when angered.

I've felt this circle before....

It's happening again.

It's going to take another three years before you even look my way again, huh?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh well.

I'm feeling extraordinarily vain today.

And confused.

Time needs to go by faster for me!!! Argh. Ha.

It's funny to realize that this time in my life is the first time I've tried dating.

Because before with my first and only boyfriend it was more like

me: I like you
him: I like you too
me: Do you want to be my boyfriend?
him: I don't know...
me: Never mind, Stephen wants to be my boyfriend. Plus, he's bought be a necklace and bracelet from Disney.
him: But I like you. Okie, we'll be boyfriend and girlfriend.

And that's how my four year relationship basically started when I was 13.
There were no dates or anything. It was just seeing each other at martial arts every weekend. Ha. So silly...

I keep hoping for something stupid that I know will never happen.

I guess it's time to move on

and now...

the logical step!

<3

I can fall in love safely now

or at least soon

^_^

I'm so happy. <3