I'm such a mess.

I don't remember any of my dates. Every time a guy asks me out to lunch, dinner or coffee I tell them I'm free this weekend.

I don't remember much

I think it may be something like

Fri: Julio and Kyle

(Sat reserved for friends and family)

Sun: Jack, Brad, Nick, Jason and idr

Tues: Alex

Wed: Andrew

and then I just realize that I'm an awful person. I should just cancel all of these plans.

Why do I not care about anything anymore?

Well, I care enough to keep me at a distance

But I really want to hope

because I'm dumb

and I feel like a teenage girl

Kind of conflicted, you know?

I should be having fun, I'm just 18.

If I go on a fast track I bet you I'd be out of med school by age 22.

But I'm taking my time and I'll still be ahead

cause life is good.

Okie, I'll stop worrying now.

People keep telling me I'm a pretty girl, so I believe it.