Poops.

It's going to be a longggggg time before I get a promise ring.

I bet Andrew would make a good husband

:)

I want Andrew all to myself!!!!

I wish I could have all of his memories

I'd give up my past to be in his.

I think.

Okay, that'd be weird.

:(

I actually met him as soon as I could.

I love my baby boy. <3

But I wish we went to high school together

To kiss in between classes

Leave love notes in lockers

Go to prom

<3

Or even college

We could take the same class.

Oh well

I have him now

And I want him to be all mine!

unless I get a puppy.

...

I might name my puppy charlie

Love is so addictive

I just want Andrew to hold me.

I just want to sleep with him

Have him stroke my hair

Kiss my head

And tell me that everything will be all right.

~~~~~

I can't imagine myself with another man

Not the way like I am when I'm with Andrew

So happy and comfortable

I get to hug him, squish his cheeks, and laugh

We get to do it

We get to be intimate and trusting

It's just so good to feel safe

I never feel safe

I'm always so worried about school, life, and emotions

But with Andrew I'm safe.

I'm not going to lie.

At this moment

Of fucking insomnia

I floated off into a daydream

And missed waking up by a happy and energetic guy who played and worked with all of my baby cousins to annoy me...

Can't believe they were all under 10 when he was around

They basically grew up with him

...

Deleted a picture of Andrew off a wall on my phone.

Poopface

>_>

Waking up.

"I dream of sounds.
I dream of situations and scenarios like you dream but I don't see it,
I hear it.
I know I've awakened because...
it's quiet."

Night time sucks.

I'm all alone, depressed and shit

I really don't like how Andrew and I are opposites..

I like living in a world Where I can fall asleep to AJ 'S stream

Good voice

Masturbate and eat chips, is that all you do?

*Pokes at glass*

Dink Dink Dink!

Hello? Hello!  Is anyone in there? Are you awake?...

*walks around cube*

Well, this is peculiar.

*Places right ear and side of face onto the cool glass. Old classical music is playing, sounds like it's from a scratched record player*

This is kind of creepy

Sometimes I wonder

what the world's gonna do to me

I have a feeling

that you know I'm going crazy

I need some healing

before things start getting hazy

why does nobody reach out when someone calls for help

It's not hard sympathizing with the pain felt

One person might not mean much

I should really be more in touch

But give me a hand and think

Why is human kind not in sync?

I am having what is known as a "Kyle baby" breakdown.

WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeE!!!!!!

SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE <3

YAY

Also, I'm just insanely in love with my boyfriend. :D

He treats me right
aaw;eltrkjawle
twaet
eta;wletjwa

Yay

I saw my ex's baby for the first time....

I just wanted to laugh because the guy who asked for my number and I think is cute is also from the Czech Republic like the bomber... xD

I was like idk... 

Lol

Recently I've been texting this guy back about stupid Magic stuff like commander and standard decks

I usually hate stupid people

Can't stand them

I don't like weird people either

Usually when they bother me I just smile and act nice while I say how much I hate them in my head

I'm not sure what caused me to act so mean inside towards them

Anyway,

This guy is lucky that he's not weird
And that he's kinda cute
And that his first impression was adorably awkward

Otherwise I would hate him

I wish Andrew would just reply to my texts. Even if it's with a simple "No"

blahhhhhh

Okay, secret confession

I think the younger brother from the Boston Marathon bombing is cute

Sad to see someone good-looking be caught up in extreme religion

I'm also a little sad that tomorrow's plans isn't going to be as I hoped it would be.

I wanted to get a hair cut

Have a good time at chuck e cheese

Take photo booth pictures

Eat frozen yogurt

Bah.

Ever see people on Facebook and think "wow, their life is so good. They're so pretty... blah blah blah"

well screw them

I'm enjoying my tid bits of awesomeness now and they can all be jealous of me.

<3

I've got a good life

C-Andrew, I love you

G-Will you be mine tonight

F-Will you be mine tonight

C- Be mine tonight

C-You hold me tight

F-Make life all right

E-Never fight

Am-Are my light

C- I love 

G-you

F-I love

C-you

C...............................G

When we shared our first kiss

F..................C

Everything was bliss

E

I was so nervous

D................................G

But you were worth the risk

C..............................G

Now we're together today

F....................C

and I wanted to say

C

I love you

G

I love you

F

I love you

C
I love you

Am.....................................G
I could have given you everything

F...................................Am
Why don't you want to stay

Dm..........................Am
Already chose my diamond ring

Em........................Am
Should have been my babe.


Am............G..................C
Years went by when you held me close

Dm............................Am
Now your memory is just a ghost

Am..................................................Em
I'm holding hands with another man happy as can be

Dm..............................Am
But still I wonder how you could have left me

I want a promise ring...

Or just a regular ring.

my finger still feels funny

Should I ask Andrew for one?

Like a mini gold ring with some random stone for 40ish dollars?

It's as if I'm in debt.

I keep giving out all this love

First to my ex

Then Kyle

And now Andrew.

It's like just accept it.

No one else loves me

I tell people that I love them and they just look at me

Sometimes they even laugh

It's an awkward feeling

People don't understand it

They hold it so high

But all it is is chemicals

And memories

And magic

Why should I hold back my emotions?

Why doesn't anyone want to embrace that feeling with me

The feeling that you have when thinking or seeing someone who has made you happy

I don't understand

I love you, mom.

I love you, Tommy.

I love you, Han.

I love you, Adeline.

I love you, Nick.

I love you, Geoff.

I love you, Sangni.

I love you, Rebecca.

I love you, Steve.

I love you, Andrew.

....

Only 2 people would tell me that they love me back from that list

One because he's a Christian maniac trying to save me

And  the other only 10% of the time for some illogical reason that builds some wall which holds onto novelty and specialness that should always exist through recent memories/because he feels forced too

Sure giving is usually less than receiving

But it's not fair

I don't like how I say that I love someone and they only smile or don't respond.

Then it just stops

No more exchanging of love

Neither from me or you

It reaches a point where I love you is a lie

Trying to start over

It's awkward hearing I love you

An the return I love you is actually forced now

You want to say it more

You want to get used to I love you again
I wish I could tell everyone that I love them every day.

But sometimes I just keep it to myself

I just stay quiet a few days

I get sad

And one day I'll probably just stay sad forever

Sometimes I just wish Andrew would reciprocate the amount of "I love you"s I give.

I miss being able to sleep with someone at night.

I can't wait to live with Andrew. I'll be able to sleep in bed with him : )

I hate my life
no one understands what I'm going through
I used to be so perfect
so lovely, young, and new
Now I'm falling into depression
Wishing to bid life adieu

https://soundcloud.com/vi3thoneyx/depressed/s-oPqNn

Why do I feel so unmotivated
I'm stuck in life, don't know what to do
Hating the trivial things I go through
I just need help, or time, or sleep
I'm going insane and am starting to weep
There's no one to save me, only myself
Why can't I find happiness?

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK