god

I remember when I used to believe in "God"

in fact

I think that doing the sign of the cross is still comforting from habitual learning and responses

things in life are becoming much more frustrating than they should be

I don't doubt that I'll develop schizophrenia or something

*sigh*

at least whatever mental illness I develop

it won't be terminal

like everyone else's sicknesses

that they can't control

that none of them deserve

I'm just sitting here

just this selfish little brat

and life's not fair

and I don't feel like there's anything I can do to help

What am I going to attempt?

Find cures for 10 billion types of cancer before they all die?

Fuck it

I might as well give up now

There's nothing useful to learn here

;alwej;alwkjetawitgjaw;oekldmvc