Thursday, March 28, 2013

     August sat on the front stoop of his house. His face rested in his hands and his elbows were on his knees when he heard the piercing sound of glass shatter. After taking in a deep breath and letting out a heavy sigh he thought "What happened to her? She used to be so smart, kind, and full of life... why did things have to feel as if they've abruptly changed?"

     He pushed himself up off the cool concrete steps and slowly walked up to his room to figure out what that noise was. When he reached the door he left his hand on the handle but could not turn it. Instead he decided to go into the guest room down the hallway. "I'll clean things up tomorrow. She'll get better by then."

     Jessica cried into the pillow that smelled so great. Hormones coursing through her body made her feel uncomfortable because it was a mixture of euphoria with depression. Or maybe it was the adrenaline from breaking the window that made her feel sick. She reached down for the bottle of cherry vodka before remember that it was the cause of the broken window. Funny how she could quickly forget the little things.

     Jessica and August had been happily  dating for over a year before her life began spiraling down. As a graduate student in philosophy she began analyzing why her life suddenly appeared so grim and concluded that it must be because of something biological. Once more she whispered to herself "I'm dying... "

     "Why do I keep saying that?" she said to herself before letting out a groan. She clearly noticed how she slurred her words and decided to get ready for bed. After looking at the door she came to the conclusion that she again grew upset because he had not returned to comfort her. Soon she fell face down into his wonderful pillow, turned to the cool and dry side, and passed out into a deep intoxicated sleep where she could finally but temporarily forget her pain.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Tonight I missed Tommy because of how he was able to buy me everything I wanted.

Trip to Boston?

Covered.

$1200 shoes?

No problem.

You're mad a me?

You get a new purse, a dozen roses and your favorite cheesecake.

..

I also liked how we played Pokemon together. :(

And played Call of Duty together...

and how he had two really nice sports cars...

and how we would drive at night with the top down...

and how if he ever met Kyle he would be able to effortlessly beat him up.



Ugh.

Why did he let me sleep on the phone with him for four entire fucking years...................

Also, it sucks how he was allowed to stay over half the week.

I was never bored.

Like actually every time we went out we did something different

even with Kyle but the poor version.

With Tommy we played laser tag, climbed rocks, watched so many movies, went to shows, shopped EVERYWHERE, ate EVERYWHERE....

with Kyle I just got to do a bunch of new and "crazy' things.

..

I also miss how beautiful those two were.

xD

I miss going out to shooting ranges with Tommy

I liked listening to Kyle's music and reading his writing

I think I grew up though

I miss how much combing through my hair and whispering in my ear turned me on....

My damned smelly ear.

I wish I could have surgery on it or something.

It used to be so great, a mutual love for combing through hair and pouring out our souls.....

Maybe it's just different experiences for different people.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I am probably crazy.

God fucking dammit.

I am so depressed...

I hate my life.

I feel like I have nothing to live for.

Maybe seeing Andrew tomorrow will cheer me up.

I almost can cry in bed but I won't.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Monday, March 4, 2013