Is it time!!!

Is it time for me to suddenly fall ill 

Do we all find out that it's terminal?

It's not my fault

Aw shucks, we tried!!!

But I'm just sick!!!

SICK!!!

I fade in and out of consciousness because god takes pleasure in reminding me that I will always feel pain when I'm awake 

Funny how I watch Death pass me by

I wanna kick rocks

And fall off a cliff

Into the sea which sprays and sears my sinuses as I die on impact 

I want to feel the rough salt carve paths through my brains as my head cracks from crashing forward into the ocean waves 

I want to be conscious as my neck snaps so I can be grateful for the upcoming release and peace 

I seek death 

I just don't have enough experience yet 

how

I'm so lonely. My heart hurts. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be alive. I don't want to think.

I'm so lonely. I want to disappear.

I spend so much of my time thinking about myself, praying for anyone at all to think of me.

Think of me. Help me. Do something. 

History.... no, no, no, no. History, no. Please.

1,000x

1,000 lives

Why do I look at humanity so kindly?

While I do not care about the individual, I still defend the masses. 

The human experience encapsulates so much.

Those who are lucky will learn and feel the best parts more often.

And those who aren't will suffer from the annoyance built over misunderstanding.