Is it time!!!

Is it time for me to suddenly fall ill 

Do we all find out that it's terminal?

It's not my fault

Aw shucks, we tried!!!

But I'm just sick!!!

SICK!!!

I fade in and out of consciousness because god takes pleasure in reminding me that I will always feel pain when I'm awake 

Funny how I watch Death pass me by

I wanna kick rocks

And fall off a cliff

Into the sea which sprays and sears my sinuses as I die on impact 

I want to feel the rough salt carve paths through my brains as my head cracks from crashing forward into the ocean waves 

I want to be conscious as my neck snaps so I can be grateful for the upcoming release and peace 

I seek death 

I just don't have enough experience yet