Flowers cast a shadow, I'm hiding underneath

In the field of regrets, I sow and then I reap

When I don't remember everything I am thankful for my life. If time passes and I think things through then I remember too much.

Right now though, I'm thankful. <3

Holy fuckballs I'm depressed. I really don't wanna Google ways to die painlessly because that'll just make me do it and the only reason I don't wanna off myself now is because I'm looking forward to playing games with a friend tonight and then watching him jail other people in a raid. God give me more ways to feel good and reasons to live. 

I want to start over and disappear from the world next year. I want to get a lot of plastic surgery done.